I am soon to be married and feel frustration building with myself and my future spouse. We’ve lived together for two years. I pick, nag and as she says, “chip away at her”. Sometimes the right thing jumps from my mouth and other times I say something that will completely shut her down. I know what I mean to say and yet how I say it winds up sounding cold and critical.
This a first marriage for both of us and I’m beginning to wonder if I’m not too hard a person to live with. Am I marriage material or simply experiencing soon to be married jitters?
This is a great question but very hard to answer because you are asking me to make a judgment for another person – which I can’t do. For example, I wouldn’t marry you, but so? I bet you wouldn’t marry me either!
You sound like a total pain and your chart reflects this. You’re cold, critical, argumentative, bleating, arrogant, and probably blunt to the point of rude. But so what? This doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. This doesn’t mean you aren’t her dream guy, and the man she wants. Some people like spice!
So I think this is a very good question, but the person you need to ask is your fiance. You’re aware of your limitations, but is she similarly aware? Does she realize this is your personality? Because this is your personality.
Are you going to all the sudden become tactful? Not with Mars in Aries (fight) square Mercury (your mouth). Are you going to become uncritical or unwilling to say what you think? Not with Venus in Virgo square a Sagittarius Moon! I could go on, but you get the point.
I think you’re fine to marry, as long as she knows she is marrying a man who is not going to change all that much. And believe me, people can be very happy with a disagreeable spouse. I have seen it many times. Perhaps they know how to transcend or generate their own happiness. Or the cranky spouse may stick in their craw just right. So this is totally her call and as for your happiness…
Well, like I said. You will be you, married or otherwise. So if you’re not happy now, marriage is not going to fix that even one little shred. Not getting married won’t fix it either because you embody the chaos and strife. So this is a better question to be asking:
Do you want to be someone who functions well in relationship, i.e. “marriage material”? If so, you have some work to do. If not, then carry on.
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