“P, people are going to do that,” the soldier said. “They see we’re happy so they’re going to try to get between us and mess us up. They did it to us when we were kids, it’s just the way people are.”
“Why? Why are they like that?”
“Because they want you to be as miserable as they are. Miserable people want other people to be miserable. Oh he’s doing that. Oh she’s doing this.”
I laughed.
Someone called the soldier once trying to get me in trouble. Told him I put his picture on my blog. The picture was of Boom Boom Mancini, the soldier was flattered.
“They know me so well, they don’t even know what I look like,” he said.
So people do this to couples (cock blocking) but this goes for the trolls on this blog as well. Do everything they can to make me as miserable as they are as if that is possible. But this is not universal.
Some people who are unhappy see someone happier than they are and rather than try to destroy them, they strive to become happier themselves and oddly enough this falls back on Saturn.
Saturn is not the planet generally associated with happiness but hey! You are responsible for your own happiness and this is also means you are responsible to defend your happiness.
I have learned this the hard way myself. Perhaps you can hitchhike.
I have been reading these posts here about other people trying to screw up your relationship, and I have not been able to come up with anyone in my past who tried to keep me from being together with my husband. I can’t say why or why not this has never happened. And the only time I ever tried to talk a friend of mine out of moving in with her boyfriend, was because of a little habit he had of beating the snot out of her. She never admitted to any abuse, and moved in with him, and we just sort of drifted apart, because I can’t sit back and watch someone play victim like that. I was most definitely not jealous of her relationship (oh hell no).
Well this takes many forms. For example men hit on me almost every day.
The soldier sees this as men trying to piss on something, leave their mark. I see it the same way.
So is this supportive or a compliment to me… or to him? No, it’s an attack.
“Never mind that bastard, P, look over here?”
Do you really think they have my best interests at heart?
Oh I get it – not necessarily people who know you, but they are picking up on your vibe of contentment, and trying to screw with it. That is another way of looking at it.
yup. That’s what people do, they do it to both of us and ee do have to guard.
Oh, and the people who DO know us and pull this crap don’t know us for long.
No, that is disrespectful to both of you….I know that when my ex-husband and I started getting back together, there were a couple of people who weren’t thrilled with the idea and it was mainly because I was not going to be their form of entertainment or their counselor or what have you anymore…they felt I wouldn’t have time for them …those were my women friends…..now for my guy friends….two that I can think of right away…this is interesting….one is my sister’s husband and another is an old friend who is very much in a relationship with another woman but I hung out with both couples quite abit and looking at it now, I think the guys in these situations loved the fact that they had two women’s attention and when I said I was dating or getting back with my ex, the dynamics changed. The men were the ones with something to say…as in …no, don’t do that Dena…..
..and as for the Saturn and happiness….I see the coalition here because I have seen alot of crazy caca in my life and it just makes me feel more blessed every day, which makes me feel happy….I don’t know….
Dena – men cock block each other constantly. The only ones who don’t are the ones who are super conscious and have some kind of code they live by. I think it’s instinctual.
I have men mail me after obviously having read REAMS of my writing. They want to engage / flirt and not one mention of the fact I have a man.
It’s very simple:
“If you want dick, I have one.”
I never get over my sense of amazement. 500 times no, they think 501 will turn the trick and it will if you don’t / aren’t willing to slap them down.
Women are trained not to do this and men exploit the weakness.
yeah…that is something….even now…if we happen to meet either couple somewhere…the men have lost their power ..they are like dogs with tails between their legs. Rock intimidates them….they don’t even act the same….it is very funny! We are like animals, huh?
Well I think the women have lost their power along with the men! A woman will never make a very good man, actually. We lack testosterone and all. 😉
OK this is more on the Saturn and happiness thing, but I saw this speech the other day and Mike Rowe talks about the “War on hard work” and I thought of you and the Saturn and that mountain goat.
I will link but I will warn everyone – It’s not visually graphic, but one of the jobs he describes is sheep castration and he is QUITE detailed in his description thereof. It’s not for the faint of heart or ear, at least in that part of it. (2 minutes in til about 8:15) But it’s a great talk and worth the 20 minutes.
http://www.ted.com/talks/mike_rowe_celebrates_dirty_jobs
Ahhh this is like when men wear wedding rings they get hit on more.
yes, they do…
women after menopause actually have more testosterone than men the same age.
just fyi…
sometimes all you need is a model “you mean it’s possible to look at life this way/respond that way? wow, maybe i should try it”
and, yeah, there’s a lot of people who can’t stand to be around people happier than them…
wyrdling – no I didn’t know…
I’m enjoying this site! It’s great!
I’ve seen the dynamic in which people try to destroy your happiness. It is so obvious! It hurts more when those people are related to you. It makes you feel sort of like you don’t really deserve happiness because those people are supposed to love you. They should be happy for you; No?
This whole post really struck a chord with me. A lot, a lot of folks really cannot stand to see other people happy, especially couples and try to mess with that any way they can. They hit on you or your partner, which is annoying, but at least it’s easy to see them lifting their leg. Other, more skillful and sneaky people will try to change your mind about how you view your relationship, “that doesn’t bother you? It would drive me crazy….” or “It seems like you’re not as happy as ________ time…. Don’t settle…..etc, etc, etc.”
Without fail, those are people who are totally ignoring the piles of poo in their own backyard and wondering why their life stinks. — Go Saturn for giving us the power, and responsibility for our own happiness! It’s available to anyone willing to do the work. And that’s fantastic.
Love that insight, Elsa. Love. It.
I have a problem… Of women who already have one or more men cock-blocking me from having one myself… The recent one… Is married, and a lesbian. And, not only are they snagging the men for themselves when they don’t need them… They’re not what the guys’ want and the guys’ aren’t what they really want either. So, it’s like I’m cursed. Women totally different from me, and taken, are snagging every man that would suit me, building reverse-harems to do the job, treating these nice guys as tools/stepping stones/wallets/a free house/you name it. I am a submissive, shy, introverted selective mute who can do not but yell at them and risk losing what few so-called friends I have, and my only hope of meeting men. (Unless introduced, men don’t bother with me, they just look. Men seem to be losing their balls/spines/minds.)
As Elsa says, if you’re lucky enough to get someone you love, defend what you have. if you don’t, there are many horrid people out there who would love to take them from you. Men, women, boys, girls, all ages, all sexes, all sexualities, are siezing people for harems, reverse-harems, and mix-harems. Even if you don’t love someone, if there’s nice folks you care about, protect them. The more that get victimized by a chain of corruption, the more the disease spreads, the more people who get taught to think and behave that way, further hurting society. Sever chains of corruption if, when, and where you can, or they will grow deeper and deeper into your known world.