My son has an opposition in his chart lying prominently across his ascendant / descendant axis. There are advantages to seeing two sides to something but there is no end to pain and conflict my son suffers due this aspect in his chart. “Strife” is a better word, and I am absolutely at fault.
I’m at fault along with his father as we just plain don’t agree. We don’t agree on anything that I can think of. Not only that, we are diametrically opposed.
You can want to compromise in a situation like this but the issues are of the type where compromise is not possible, at least on my end. For example, I think a child should do their own homework. Vid’s father thinks you should take your kid’s work to be printed professionally… when he’s five.
I’m not looking for people to choose sides. I’m trying to make a point. The point, is that it’s very hard on Vid to have one parent say one thing, the other say the exact opposite. However… I can’t compromise this stuff.
Vid’s dad has a tendency to find fault with people and things. Wherever he goes, he leaves with a list of complaints and various criticisms. It’s as if the adventure was okay but would have been better if only…
Someone like me wants to shoot myself being around someone like that – they just can’t have a good time. So Vid… well he’s like any kid on the planet. His dad’s voice comes out his mouth. So does his Mom’s! And there is the opposition right there.
“This place sucks!” his father, says.
“This place is great!” I say.
What’s the kid to do?
If you have a prominent opposition in your chart (especially involving the Sun, Moon or angles);can you remember being exposed to conflict like this when you were a kid?
yes. it’s very interesting to know what battles were won, by which parent.
late for church? one point for dad.
going to church at all? one point for mum…
I love your example, kashmiri.
I feel for Vid, Elsa.
Here’s the dialogue I heard growing up as a full moon child: She’s going to heaven (my mom’s destination of choice).
He’s going to hell (Mom’s destination for Dad!)
Moon in Scorpio, 10th house (Mom)
Sun in Taurus, 4th house (Dad)
North Node in Aquarius (Dad – five planets in Aquarius)
South Node in Leo (Mom – five planets in Leo)
Today I feel I have benefitted from the integration of both worlds. I wish this for Vid and kashmiri, too.
Great photo, Elsa! Very graphic example of the opposition.
Venus and Mercury in the 7th (Venus conjunct the descendant) opposite Saturn in the 1st.
Lots of tension.
I do remember my parents not agreeing, but not in such a uncompromising way. Which doesn’t mean it wasn’t there.
But the strange thing is i strongly feel my dad in this and his relationship with my grandma, his mother: strife, tension, angst, sadness, but also big love. I’m in there somewhere too.
I feel that i know what i’m talking about, but i can’t put finger on it just yet.
Well we leave karate and a barrage of criticism of one of the other kids comes out of Vid’s mouth – sounds just like his father. I think this is repulsive, so what am I to do? Let him continue to develop in this pattern or confront? I confront.
I once had a 3 hour fight with Vid’s dad regarding whether or not kids should be able to eat off the floor in 4 star restaurants. How am I going to *not argue something like that? I am not raising dogs!
There is a clear pattern. Go to karate which Vid enjoys enormously. Leave the place and on the way out he complains about something. This kid didn’t push him hard enough – ruined his day. Next time some kid made noises in the class – ruined his day. Oh brother!
I told Vid it was none of his business if a kid made noises when he grappled – the instructor ran the class and if the kid was out of line he’d take care of it.
“What do you care if some kid makes noise? You’re supposed to be working on take downs and squealing or otherwise, that kid was pretty formidable so why aren’t you busy focusing on your own problem which is, the kid (squealing or no) is doing a really good job of knocking you on your back…?”
See, I think the constant denouncing of people and things everywhere you go, without fail is a personality defect and I can’t see how I am supposed to not set an alternative example.
He leaves with his dad – they both bitch on the way to the car. He leaves with me – we just leave or better yet, remark on the great fortune of being in karate in the first place because this place really is spectacular.
This is in the wide open in my family by the way. I wound up putting it in plain language.
“When an experience is good, I prefer focus on that…”
I also equated this to going on a date with a girl, having a great time – great dinner, great conversation and then on the way out you start talking (gossiping) about the couple next to you or across the room…
It just seems a way to never be happy to me. So do I say nothing and teach him this by default?
My kid is such a good kid. But you do mimic what you see and if I don’t oppose his father, my kid is going to be eating off the floor, cheating on his homework, blaming others for his own unhappiness and more.
Basically Vid has an unhappy parent and a happy parent (Saturn on his Sun, Jupiter aspect his Moon). Am I supposed to be dour? How?
But there is astrology for you – boldly wrought.
My father tends to not say anything positive. He doesn’t have a negative heart, it’s just that nothing is ever good enough (Virgo Sun). I told my mother once within his hearing that if she ever does anything right let me know. LOL
I have gone through periods in my life where I was negative (Virgo Moon) and it gets to be a bad habit. I have trained myself to say “you sound like your father” which immediately shuts me up! 😉
“the constant denouncing of people and things everywhere you go, without fail is a personality defect ”
I agree. Oh, do I agree…
thanks Cherie. I think I have benefitted. but my mum left the church under some pretty distressing circumstances. My parents are still together. Their Suns are in opposition (mum’s an Aries and Dad’s a Libra). I like to call them the Bickertons :::rolls eyes:::
i should clarify: the reasons she left had nothing to do with my dad.
Sun/Moon opposition squared by Neptune and Saturn. Biological father took off when I was 6 months old. Mom mostly left my grandmother to raise me.. I never even really knew my Mom. She and grandmother were very different.Mom remarried when I was 7, she and step Dad went off on their own all the time leaving me with grandmother. I felt like an outsider.. being a Cancerian I craved family and security so I left home at 17 got married and had my son at 19..and lived happily ever after.. (mostly..)– I became one of those “DO IT YOURSELF” people– Somehow managed to maintain a cheerful and upbeat attitude about life..(spiritual teachings of Seth and Ram Dass at an early age plus astrology in the mix..) those oppositions sure do wreak havoc ..
I always say that my parents married only for the purpose of bring their six children in the world; it was a karma. I can’t remember them ever getting along. They have been divorced 41 years and they still show hostility toward the other. My sun and moon are in opposition. My uranus and venus are in opp. My ascendant is opp my mars.
My husband also has a sun/moon opp. His parents are still married, but there was a very passive warfare for years between the two.
egad, i can so relate to this. i’ve never seen an opposition spelled out so clearly. i have sun/uranus and moon/venus oppositions and i’m a lot like vid with the complaining stuff. but i find it’s something i have to articulate and then move on. if i vent, it goes away. if i don’t, i stew.
what worries me is that my son has saturn on his moon–what does that say about me?
My parents fought all the dang time. Probably had a screaming fight every 2-3 days or so when my dad could speak. Taurus + Scorpio on the bad side. I was definitely a pushmepullyu like in Doctor Doolittle. My oppositions: Uranus/Sun/Chiron (loosely) on the asc/desc axis, Moon/Venus, Pluto/Mercury.
Elsa, I think you should keep up the happy so at least Vid knows there is an option besides nitpicking. I am always baffled at how the negative people inevitably end up with a positive one and vice versa. I know there’s balance and all, but man, I dunno if it really works. If Vid’s dad is not only negative but unreasonable (eating on the floor, REALLY?), what else can you do? The sucky part for Vid is that he’s forced to choose sides or fight for neutrality…but well, all of us end up doing that.
astrosox: maybe it just means that you and your son come out as very different people and there’s a clash? It doesn’t always necessarily have to mean “I hate my mom,” I don’t think, but odds are there will be conflict one way or another because you operate in different ways. I have moon square Saturn and that seems to play out. If you can accept that he thinks/feels differently than you do about things, that will help a lot.
“(eating on the floor, REALLY?)”
Yes. He is from the school of whatever a kid does, it’s fine. I am from the school of BULLLLLLLLLSHIT!
I think I went to the same school you did Elsa. 🙂
reminds me of things my kidlet is dealing with.
he’s grown an unhealthy sort of dependence… and, well, an opposition across the descendent. what you wrote here really helps light up that dynamic.
i spent too much time looking at one of his lunar aspects. there’s several others which, well… illustrate more flattering qualities of mine. but i’m not going to deny that saturn, either….
My chart features such oppositions, but they involve planets that, in my opinion, represents the conflicts within a parent (or rather, my own view of them).
Moon-Venus (Taurus – Scorpio): the feminine duo.
Mars-Saturn (Virgo – Pisces): warrior-ruler type.
Yep. My moon/NN in Cancer oppose my sun/SN/Ceres in Cap on my Asc\Dsc axis and all I remember of my childhood is my parents fighting. They finally divorced and my dad moved to a different state when I was about 14. That was actually liberating for me – no more fighting and I had the run of the house. I do and always have fought with my Aries spouse a lot, but it’s fiery then dies quickly and we ultimately find it’s constructive. Unlike my parents who never seemed to get anywhere with all the shouting