“Oh, it’s terrible,” I said, “Vidroid got rejected by a girl at school today. A girl he likes.”
The soldier groaned.
“Yeah, it was bad. Apparently his friend was trying to fix him up. He said, hey. Vidroid likes you. Do you like him? And the girl stood there. Er… no.”
“Yeah, he really felt bad. He was decimated. He feels like shit… he feels horrible.”
“Yeah, I know the feeling. You never forget the first one, that’s the hardest. When he’s older he’ll learn to tell them, then I guess a blow job is out of the question.”
I laughed. “Yeah, he may learn to say that. I don’t know but at the moment he really, REALLY feels bad.”
“You trying to make him feel better.”
“Yeah and it’s working some.”
“What did you do?”
“Talked to him. Man, he was upset. He was wrecked. So I talked to him and I hugged him and eventually I told him about you so he wouldn’t feel so bad.”
“What about me?”
“Well I told him how you farted on your first date and blew everything,” I said, snickering.
“Yep. Yeah, I did. Big ol fart. So what did he think of that?”
“He laughed. He laughed his ass off actually, I think it helped.”
“Yeah, so maybe you can tell him about some of this stuff when you get here.”
“I’ll do that.”
Fast forward a week.
“Yeah, it’s hard to get a girlfriend,” the soldier told Vidroid. “Real hard.”
Vidroid listened, studying the soldier who he adores though he would never use that non-manly word.
“Guess how long it took me to get this girlfriend?” he asked Vidroid. “Guess.”
“30 years. But it won’t take you that long I’m sure. You’re better looking than me so you’ll probably fare better though it will probably still be hard. Girls are hard to get. They are hard to get and they are a lot of trouble when you do get one but they’re worth it. Nothing like having a girl except for when you get one she will want to kiss you all the time so just be ready.”
“They want to kiss you?” Vidroid was enthralled.
“Oh yeah. Kiss you all the time. Girls want to kiss you day and night. It’s all you can do to get them to stop kissing you but you have to do it so you can go fight.”
Vidroid snorted and we all smiled knowing this thing had been resolved.