If Your Child Has An Oppositions In Their Chart…

diceI wrote this in 2009. It’s eight years later – nothing has changed.  Get a load at how clear cut this is. This is how you learn astrology!

I wrote about the opposition in my son’s chart here: Strife Between The Parents.  This aspect causes my son a good deal of grief. Still, the energy is in his chart and undeniable.

This stress constellates around him wherever he goes. I have an example that is stunning and simultaneously usual. It demonstrates to me that if you have something like this in your chart, you can’t run and you can’t hide.

My son and I went to therapy for awhile. While I think the therapist looks bad in this anecdote, I don’t think he was incompetent. He had thirty years of counseling experience which he put to very good use when working with us. Knowing this only makes my point.  I don’t care who you are. If my son is in the room, people are prone to end up diametrically opposed with a conflict that is very hard (perhaps impossible) to resolve.

We were in the session working on just this issue. I told the therapist that Vid’s father and I disagreed on virtually everything that two people can possibly disagree on. I said that I thought this caused Vid a lot of problems but I had no idea how to resolve the situation.

“Give me an example of something your parents disagree on,” he asked my son.

“Politics!” Vid said.

I kept a straight face.

The therapist grinned and then asked something that surprised me.  ‘Which parent thinks what..?”

“Well my dad thinks —– and my mom says ——–”

The therapist laughed.  ‘”Oh, well your dad is right!  Yep, your mother has this one all wrong… she’s just wrong is all. She’s wrong about this completely…”

I was stunned. I waited a minute to make sure what I was doing and then confronted the therapist who just set up the exact conflict I had just described. But here’s the thing: Vid has Libra!  So when the therapist sided with his dad, that made two against one. They were men, no less, so Vid immediately slid to my side.  And there you go.

This stuff is not really resolvable unless you agree to disagree. Even when you do that, it still leaves Vid holding the bag.

Do you scrutinize the people around you to feel better, or do you scrutinize yourself?  Two completely different philosophies there. I won’t be giving mine up anytime soon. This is shown in Vid’s chart by the way.

He has Jupiter and Mercury in Aries aspecting his Moon. That his mother will fight for her beliefs is vividly described in his chart (and hers). So what are we supposed to do about this, hmm?

Could it be that dice land how they land and as they were meant to land?

Check out your child’s natal report!

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If Your Child Has An Oppositions In Their Chart… — 15 Comments

  1. As a mother with an I often disagree with dramatically, I think you have to just accept that this is how the dice fell for our kids. Anyway I vote for passion over peace for the sake of everyone just getting along. These kids are going to have to sort out what they believe eventually. I’ve seen mine swing back and forth a bit but they continually surprise me with what they know and how sophisticated they are in dealing with this.

  2. Well the opposition is in Vid’s chart and constellates around HIM.

    For example, he goes over the Quirky Aquarian’s house and they (routinely) get into deep conflict. The conflict?

    QA thinks he is justified in hitting his sisters. Vid disagrees.

    Think Vid is going to move off that? Don’t hold your breath.

  3. *nod* I understand. He’s a lucky kid to have such a wise and passionate mom to help him understand this from a young age.

  4. I love how you use astrology to parent your child. I’m thinking I’m going to contact you for a consultation soon for an astrobaby/astroparent reading. Meanwhile I am going back and reading all your children/astro related posts.

    Looks like the therapist might have been practicing structural family therapy. Strategic (and temporarily) siding with one person is a technique used to see how fluid the family dynamic is and if tipping the balance can shake out a better interactional pattern.

  5. Interesting, Drea. That never occurred to me. At the time the polarization of the country was extreme and I was terrifically outnumbered in my environment. Not voting for Obama was… well, you were either someone who should be strung up, or seen as hopelessly stupid. This was back when the President himself was sending a message to the kids in the schools that there was something desperately wrong with anyone who didn’t agree with him. You might not have noticed this if you were on his side but if you were on my side, well it was one of the most painful and mind-boggling things I have ever gone through as a parent. My kids teachers and other authority figures were telling him his mother was a stupid asshole, basically. By the time this therapist joined the chorus, both my son and I were pretty much filled to the brim.

    It’s not right to tell a kid his parent is lousy… especially when they are not but of course people justified this at the time, simply because there was more of them then there was of me.

  6. Yes!! I have two children from my first marriage. They have a Leo sun squared to Scorpio Moon. Scorpio Moon in opposition to Jupiter in Taurus. Their father and I have been diametrically opposed since even before they were born. I begged him to at least be mature after we split but he refused and became petty and vindictive. Legal suits galore. Over time, we’ve managed to become more civil. Like Winston Churchill and Lady Astor than Sid and Nancy… The bright spot in this is that Jupiter. I’ve encouraged them to see the importance of rising above (Jupiter) emotional (Moon) and egoic (Sun) turmoil and conflict. Despite all the drama, they’ve come through it seemingly okay. They’ve got a bright outlook on life, excellent grades, and an unshakeable core value system that keeps them grounded.

    • that’s interesting, my husband’s mother and father were also opposed, not in agreement with anything. they basically divorced. it was his way or the highway, and she wasn’t gonna budge either. they just had two different viewpoints in everything. She didn’t like his bluntness, and i think that her independence threatened him. she isn’t as clingy as his 2nd wife who he has been with for decades.

  7. It was only a couple of years ago as saturn rolled across the jupiter-neptune end of my only opposition that I saw how it represented my dad. Unmissable really given that his Scorpio-Sun & Sag-Jupiter are conjunct it. But until then I never realised how invasive and lacking in respect of boundaries he is.

    Meanwhile over in 2H Saturn gemini, there’s my Cap moon mother with her Taurus sun, stoically maintaining her boundaries, terrified about losing possessions and never been interested in learning.

  8. My 4H Gemini Mars is exactly conjunct my mother’s Gemini Sun. Yes, we never saw eye-to-eye on much of anything. I regularly challenged her and she back-stabbed me with passive-aggressive whispers to my siblings. No love lost when I bolted from home after graduation. In fact, I felt like a newly released convict at that time.

  9. Dear Elsa
    My son has pluto – Mars opposition ( 0 Cap – 0 Cancer , 1h -7th H) both square Mercury. Moon trine Saturn.
    My next son who will be born at the beginning of July 2017 will also have Pluto opposition Mars! What a karma including tough Dad who constantly faces death and transformation!
    What do you think about this ghastly opposition?

  10. My son has Mars and Neptune in Aquarius opposite his Leo Moon H8. I have always wondered what it meant. My husband and I have argued in front of him a lot. But with Neptune in there, I have no idea What to make of it. His Mercury tsquares this opposition.

    I know my son is usually on my side though. I think this is shown by his Venus (conjunct my Venus) tribe his Moon and Sextile his Mars.

    I feel so terrible for fighting with my husband in front of my son. My husband and I are definitely a lot better at handling conflict than we have been in the past. But it does seem like the cards just fall where they’re supposed to sometimes.

  11. oh man. Yeah, there’s a young man, college age. Chart is full of oppositions. He was twisting in the wind. Concerned for him. I saw him last weekend and he was so relaxed. He’s made some decisions and is building a life. When he puts his mind to it, he is amazing. Focus seems to be key for him. Shuts off the nonsense and focusses. He’s a Neptune square Saturn also.

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