Could It Be Logical To Deny Your Spouse Is Cheating On You? Should You Snoop?

Update – The soldier signed on my blog last night with his friends. He watched the video below and got himself stunned. Stunned like a Taurus, a bull hit in the head with a frying pan and it’s easy to see why.

He has not heard anyone talk about his life like this before, plus it’s me. It apparently blew his gaskets. He could not touch me, this bothered him and he said he now knows what it feels like to be Joe DiMaggio when Marilyn Monroe gets her dress blown up over the vent. Not good!

Anyway, his friends are old friends and they know his ex-wife so strange for everyone involved I would say, to hear me talking about this on some kind of little TV. Life is odd. What a way for things to come back to you. He is reeling today (but happy) and plans to avoid reading my blog in the future except and unless he feels like being hit by a brick. 😉

The original blog:

I think this is my best video yet. Virgo and Pisces. These signs are inexplicably linked whether you like it or not.

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Could It Be Logical To Deny Your Spouse Is Cheating On You? Should You Snoop? — 22 Comments

  1. well, if it’s not going to change what you do or how you act, and knowing more would only hurt you, then it’s certainly logical to not pursue information. i don’t think it’s denial, so much as recognizing what you actually care about and letting go of the rest.

    so if the information is not going to change the way you live your life, why put yourself through the time and effort and emotional turmoil of attempting to find the “real” answer? there’s enough demands on our time and energy as is. (this is the lazy virgo answer 😉

    ad there’s also the ability to love someone and let them have their flaws and mysteries and not trying to force them to “come clean” because honestly, you can never see all the faces of someone else. i’ve discovered my predominant concern is with the face of the person which i relate to, which maybe nobody else sees, but that’s who i see and who i interact with and if it’s good, why sweat the rest of their world? if you get what you need? and if not, talk to them?

    (as a virgo ascendent aries sun with a pisces mars i’ve long been fascinated with the virgo/pisces thing myself…. it’s so slippery, conceptually.)

  2. I think wyrdling’s response is right on particularly when she says: i don’t think it’s denial, so much as recognizing what you actually care about and letting go of the rest.

    Being able to recognize someone else’s bad behavior is NOT YOUR PROBLEM is incredibly healthy IMO. We have enough on our plates just dealing with our own “stuff” it seems to me.

  3. Yay…..I’ve contemplated this concept many times and I am so relieved to not feel like I’m the only weirdo who accepts this way of viewing things. It’s easy to get caught up in the anger/feelings of betrayal/embarassment because that’s what we’ve been molded to feel. But if you view it from a bird’s eye, then you can realize that people go through things, regardless of circmstances, and we are all here to learn and teach eachother. No one is perfect, and once you let that notion go, you are freed from the chains of expectation.

    Now if you are MISERABLE in a relationship because your other half is cheating on you, then it’s probably time to let it go. You can find someone more faithful, and they can find someone who accepts his/her ways. It’s all a matter of finding what fits.

  4. P.S.
    Just an observation……..
    the links on the upper right hand of the page are for investigating cheating spouses.
    How ironic!

  5. i never thought of it that way. always got pissed at myself when i realized i had a spell of denial. but what you said made absolute sense to me. if something doesn’t matter or it’s not going to do anything helpful, why focus your energy there, huh?

  6. I read in one astrology book that Pisces and Virgo have a 7-7 vibration. in other words, Virgo’s like the south node, while Pisces is a north node. They’re each other foils [personality & soul wise]

  7. by any chance, would someone who was a taurus sun, gemini rising, and pisces moon be likely to be a cheater? i know someone dating someone with that combination [her name happens to be elsa too], and ironically, this blog is about cheating. should i take that a sign from God?
    [not to offend you.]. I feel like she’s two people at times, and there are times I feel horrible around her, and other times when the aggravation’s vague and I’m numb, as if I don’t care. She’s very manipulative, but at the same time, has yet to give proof that she’s been cheating. Everytime he tries to discover her motives [when it looks like she’s lying], it turns out she’s honest, even when the situation doesn’t match her words at first. and yet, my friend swore that he had a horrible feeling about her, and no one who’s met her has liked her either for some reason. could it have something to do with her past? or is she that manipulating and decieving??

  8. Just out of curiosity,did the soldier ever worry about AIDS or other std’s? I mean,it’s cool when we are just talking about your emotions,but what about a cheater putting your health/life on the line?Then is it still que sera sera? Extramarital sex is not just emotions,it’s the body too.Can one turn away compassionately when we find warts and lesions on our own body?Saturn(responsibility) in Virgo(health) wants to know.

  9. Another saturn in virgo here wondering the same. Asanamama took the words out of my fingers.

    I don’t know about his question. “could it be logical to deny you’re being cheated on?” not sure if it’s logical, but it’s an option. I understand why he didn’t care enough to snoop.

    I’m pisces sun mercury and south node. saturn and north node in virgo, but my sag moon would speak louder here. I feel I need to know the truth no matter what the effects are, unless the answer doesn’t really matter at all/has no meaning. I’d like to know if my spouse cheated, because that would have lots of meanings/impact on other things. It wouldn’t really affect me if my man would have sex with other people, as long as there was no lying about it. A lie is the only way to cheat, in my view. Most people don’t agree. people have very different things that matter for them. They act accordingly. I think the soldier did a good job explaining his behavior, I just question if he thought about the health issue.

  10. Well I will ask him about the health issue, see what he has to say but as I think of it he was going off to die on routine basis so I will not be surprised if he tells me the bullets whizzing past his head were a far greater concern.

    This is another of his reasons by the way. his job was acute, he has told me many times he never let his guard down for so much as a second so another reason not to get himself bugged about what his wife may (or may not, in his mind) be doing. THAT would have been much more dangerous in his mind. probably fatal so this is my guess but I will ask, first opportunity.

  11. Well,if I had bullets whizzing by me,I would compartmentalize a cheating spouse in my head too.I get that part.But I guess for me,I love my body.I take good care of it.It gets me around and gives me pleasure.I would hope my lover would feel the same and do his part to take care of it too,including not exposing me to disease.It’s a form self-love,finding someone who won’t do that kind of thing to you.Maybe your soldier loves himself more now than when he was married.

  12. also, there’s a big difference between research and invasion of privacy. though sometimes the distinctions can get fuzzy.

  13. Well, I can’t say I vote for snooping in this particular instance but I certainly can’t advocate denial, either.
    If it had been my decision to make, I probably would have confronted her (“Someone told me that they think you might be having an affair …”) to let her know it didn’t matter (“… but that’s okay. I know it must be rough when I’m gone.”). Because I can handle it if a person needs what I can’t give but, by ~damn~, they better not lie to get it! *lol* And I don’t like feeling as if I’ve been played. That whole Leo thing, yes? I’ve got my pride.

    I’m glad that it worked for the Soldier, but that’s just not the way I roll. Sometimes it might be better to do it his way, but I yam who I yam. 🙂

  14. i imagine he’s familiar with your brand of bricks by now, elsa. but it can be highly powerful to get nailed like that, nonetheless…

  15. If that was the only thing he saw, he might want to come back to view some of the more deeply touching emotions about him that you’ve shared.

  16. dreamsAreality – Well, he read the whole “soldier and p” from earlier this year and I talk to him 10 times a day so he is pretty clear how I feel. Besides he is freakishly sensitive and he can feel how I feel anyway.

    We both figure there are no accidents. It was ok for him to see that. I think his actions (in his life) are extraordinary and for the most part, unsung. So it is good these things get some air, I think.

  17. Interesting, in that case it does make sense to deny things but I guess I don’t see the Pisces/Virgo connection? As someone who has a lot of Pisces and a lot of Virgo in her chart, I’ve been trying my whole life to keep the two on reconciliatory terms but it’s very, very difficult. Is it that the tendency of Virgo is the scrutinize and notice or investigate everything and it would be in Pisces’ best interest to ignore those impulses or downplay their consequences because of the sensitivity imparted by this sign?

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