I’m currently dating an older Scorpio man and feel as if I am in love for the very first time… truly in love. We communicate very well, have similar interests and ideas, and are intimate in a way I have never experienced. It feels so good and so right, yet I am having a hard time understanding him emotionally. He tells me he loves me and wants to marry me and all that, but sometimes I wonder about him. He gets really moody and acts rather cold to me sometimes for no good reason. I am five years younger and lack the same sorts of sexual and dating experiences and this sort of intimidates me.
The other night I went to a bar that had wi-fi so that I could take care of some classwork for an internet course I am taking. I sat in a booth by myself and only went so far as to order a beer from the bartender. It was a slow and quiet night and I was merely there for business. When I got home, he was asleep. The next morning, he woke up in one of his moods and said that when I came home and got in bed, I smelled like another man. I told him that was silly because I wasn’t near a man at all. I know what I did while I was there and felt very offended that he would make any sort of accusation. He kind of made me feel as if I did something wrong, but I know for a fact that I did not. I don’t understand him at all.
He’s also very private. He gets phone calls from people all the time and goes places while I am school. I ask him casually, where are you going? or what are you doing? and he says “none of your business.” I have called him out on his behavior, telling him I don’t mind that he’s going, but would at least like to be respected enough to receive a polite or cordial answer.
It seems to odd to me that whenever I am in a sort of depressive slump, he completely ignores me when I say it has nothing at all to do with him, but he always says stuff like “Do you still love me? I don’t feel that you want to be with me” or “you act like you don’t like me?”
How exactly should I be responding to him? I have no doubt in my mind that I love him and want to spend my life with him, but I am really tired of having to clarify myself over and over again. I’m always afraid that he’s going to start looking elsewhere because things aren’t just right at the moment. I don’t know what to do about him and would appreciate any advice.
I am very sorry but this sounds ominous to me and nothing but. And I appreciate your feelings. I know how deep Scorpio can set a hook but based on what you report… well it makes my hair stand on end.
Now here’s the astrology, or at least a taste of it. He is 5 years older than you but it’s a very important gap astrologically because he is post his Saturn return, while you are heading into yours. In English, this means his character is formed while yours is still under construction. So let’s look at his character because guess what? At this age, WYSIWYG.
He is clearly emotionally manipulative. He keeps secrets, makes unfounded accusations, withdraws, broods and he is emotionally needy. I appreciate the idea he can communicate and connect sexually, but so you can you!
Now you may not believe me short term but I bet you this guy will escalate… everything. More accusations, longer periods of withdrawal and so on. You’re tough so you can hang in as long as you can stand but I’d say the odds are low you are going to teach or train his man in any way because he’s just not interested. He’s got his game. He’s defined it and it’s called “torture and manipulate the woman”.
The reason you don’t understand him emotionally because he doesn’t want you to understand him emotionally, this is how he keeps you off your game. You state you are afraid he is going to leave you and this is exactly how he wants you to feel because it is the weak (powerless) position. Stick around for more evidence if you want but please make like a Capricorn while you’re at it. Have an escape plan because I think you’re going to need one.