What People Want vs What You To Give: Control, Capricorn, Integrity, And Respect

With a current  T-square the Cardinal signs, people want to control others.   Meet, Paul, a regretful control freak  who tells a story on Henry...

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What People Want vs What You To Give: Control, Capricorn, Integrity, And Respect — 48 Comments

  1. I didn’t make this to make people feel bad. I made this to pass on Paul’s message.

    “Why didn’t I give him the couch?” he said. “I could have just givin him the motherfuckin’ couch but nooooooo. I just can’t believe what an asshole I was and I’d still be an asshole if not for Henry.”

    You know, Henry did sit. On a stool! A hard surface. If you could have met Henry you’d laugh your ass off at the idea of his sinking into a couch.

  2. Very good story, Elsa. Must be that Neptune on your MC making it difficult to see the obvious . . . 🙂

    so when are you going to be able to do another live show?! We had so much fun with that and it makes you very real to your readers!

    Also have to say what you’ve done with Top Ten Sources has really helped all of us astro-bloggers . . . and helped you too. Win-win!

  3. My father (late degree Libra with Taurus Moon) is also a very big believer in this philosophy, and I think it is important.
    I think it’s about trust, and about kindness. And hello? About empowerment. How the fuck could I *know* what someone else wants? Sure I can infer or guess or intuit, but those non-verbal clues may be part of the other person’s decision making process.

  4. Husband used to try and tell me, “No, you don’t feel that way.”

    “Excusssssssssseeeeeeeee me, I think I know what I feel!”

    As Pooh would say, “Bother!!!”

    Do what you need to Elsa, the way you need to do it, and have faith that we’ll be here rooting for you.

    Great story about Henry and a perfect example to explain things to us.

  5. Fabulous! I feel like we make the greatest impact with our lives when we are truly ourselves. Like Henry not wanting to be someone else’s version of himself.

    May we all have the courage to be our true selves!

  6. How does a link work? Where do you place it and on who’s page? I may have Saturn in Aquarius on the 4th but I’m totally bereft of computer savy. Can anyone help me out here?
    (I must have missed that post about linking. Been really sick for the past year.)

    I want to apologize again for offending you in my last post. It was not my intention to offer you a couch.

  7. Jamie, please don’t worry about it. “Offended” is not how I feel. I just feel sad. I get weary saying things people either can’t or don’t hear and I just don’t know what I can do about it.

    But this is not personal to you. It happens around me almost constantly so it is surely me, not you with the problem. 🙂

  8. Oh and jamie – a link can go anywhere. They help your google page rank.. help you get more exposure and grow, basically.

    It is very hard to build traffic and considering I have been at this for 8 years, it may be it is not meant to happen. I don’t know. I am in a position where everything is out of my hands other than my own behavior and actions I take. I do know I will live with the results and consequences so I am just trying to make right choices.

    I had someone write me the other day… people all think I am pissed off at them but in fact, in real life I am in a mad dash to survive and have no time or energy to seethe or to even be offended. It’s like that gal who pulled the rug out from under me yesterday. She pulled the rug! Now that is her problem, I have other things to do.

    On this issue – I am just doing what I always do here. Pointing out the astrology. For some reason I make what I believe are simple statements and then all kinds of bizarreness happens, like people asking me if I hate them. Huh? I just want to get laid. I just want to fuck and have a reprieve.

  9. I did not miss the pain in the video, Elsa. Just that I don’t like to talk about pain. It pains me.
    I think I need to just say what I know to be true but I’m afraid to for fear of facing my own vulnerability.

    Of course it is personal to me. I absolutely believe in you and what you can do for this planet, Elsa, and I have made it one of my missions to spread the word about your site.
    It was all that I knew how to do and I have done it since coming here.

    I’m a sales person by trade (and at heart) so I absolutely love to sell things ….of value. You are uber valuable, Elsa, to this f’d up species called “human being”. So very valuable that I tell total strangers to go to your site. Now this is a very difficult feat in itself because most people look at you like your crazy when you talk to them and even more when you talk about Astrology….but wtf….I’m not here to please.
    I think I’m here to pass on messages and “link” people….at least that is what my Libra ASC loves to do.

    So, I’ll keep on linking people to you, Elsa, any way that you need. I believe in you and I don’t think that will ever change.

  10. jamie – thanks, that’s very sweet. Lucky for me, I am somewhat addictive and as people hang around they generally come to realize I am not crazy. Dangerous maybe… 🙂

  11. “Oh and jamie – a link can go anywhere. They help your google page rank.. help you get more exposure and grow, basically”

    Ok. I still don’t know how to do it though. I know that they help you get traffic coming to your site ,but, how is this done?? I am sooooo lost here.

    Anyone?

  12. That’s good, jamie and I think besides people thinking I am crazy, they go crazy around me. For example, I had those two cocker spaniels and they imagined I had two sons I neglected. It is as if people look at me and reality swirls.

  13. Jamie, do you have a webpage or a blog somewhere? If you do you can post a link.

    Or, if you don’t have those, then you can write in on other people’s webpages in the guest sections or in their comments sections and say, oh, I don’t know….

    Go to ElsaElsa.com!

    or just flat out point them to http://www.ElsaElsa.com

    Surely someone here more html savy can tell you more than I can. But that might get you started.

  14. “I had those two cocker spaniels and they imagined I had two sons I neglected”

    Now, I’m gonna weary you here again, Elsa, because I’m not clear on the “two cocker spaniels” having the ability to make a judgement….or is that just a metaphor for Biotches? If it is then LMAO!

    I actually had my mom call social services on me for getting 50 bucks a week (sporadically albeit) from the father of my 4 children ( if you have a water moon never, ever hook up with a person who has a water moon=many,many children)[side note;bc does not work with this combo!] while receiving 243.00 a month in food stamps. Now I’m not proud that I receieved public assistance or took the money from him but it was necessary for the survival of my children. I guess my mom was my “cocker spaniel”.

    For the record I was going to college full time and working part time while going through this. I’m not one to take charity so that hurt me a lot to do it.

    OMG! Speaking of “cockers” I had one that I adopted actually bite my lip in half….how’s that for gratitude!!

    Ha! That made me laugh about you being dangerous. I just had this imagine of that robot on ‘Lost in Space’ flailing it’s arms saying, “danger, danger Will Robinson!” Ok…it passed.

    If I’m readin’ you wrong again then I think maybe I’ll take a little break until the fog lifts.

  15. very appropriate. giving people things they don’t need just weighs this down- both with stuff and obligation to take care of the stuff. whether it’s something physical or not, it can be detrimental to have things shoved on you that aren’t useful. particularly as gifts with all those subtle social assumptions that go with them.

    links on a blog would help your google ranking? i guess that makes sense. i know next to nothing about how google rankings and keywords work. guess i should get on the horse about that soon.

  16. Thank you, Dreams! You are a reality!
    Gonna edit myself here….at least try.

    Used to take classes from a res Astrologer at Friends Communities. While there I told everyone to mosey on over here. Can’t remember if I put up her link cos I didn’t know you could do that.

    Anyway, don’t have a web page or blog so I’ll take your advice. Thank you, thank you for taking the time to educate me!

  17. ok, i know this is SO old news and only tangental to your message, but i know i put a link up to elsaelsa.com when you came out and have had it up on my blog almost the whole time this site’s been around. and when you did calls for questions, i’d link you. i can’t have been the only one and doubt i’m the one you’re referring to…maybe there was support out there you didn’t know about.

  18. nah… goddess I know you linked me when I first started up. You’re one of the first and I have always appreciated it because I am aware it can be embarrassing to know me.

    It isn’t in real life but in online life, yes. Because I piss off people constantly and though they typically don’t stay that way it is much safer to take a neutral position!! 🙂

    I should be more of a politician – maybe next life.

  19. For those of you who do not have a personal website, blog, etc. why not add a link in the signature portion of your outgoing e-mails. It won’t help with Google, but it may lure more traffic here. Every little bit helps, right?

    For example, if this was my outgoing e-mail, my default “signature” would read…

    Gina

    Visit the best astrology blog on the web! Visit https://www.elsaelsa.com

  20. um, no…i wouldn’t consider it “embarrassing” to be cyber-associated with ya, elsa. i’d ask if you were kidding, but i know you’re not. your directness in saying what you think regardless of outside static it is exactly why i was drawn to your writing to begin with.

    and beyond the various ideas and insights i’ve picked up along the way, it’s actually helped me get much more in touch with my own big mouth.(some would not thank you for that, but i’m happy about it.) i’ve become a lot more open myself over the last few years, and some of that is a direct result of watching what you do. you can’t weild that kind of power if you’re worrying about who you’re going to offend.

  21. I’ll put up a link, Elsa. I don’t know that it will help you any, but I’ll do it. I get back home on the 12th (I’m at a hotel today so I don’t have the program I need to edit my webpage like that) so sometime right around then. I’ll add an astrology section to my links page and you will be right at the top. I really love your blog. I’ve linked from my blog before to a specific video of yours but not the whole shabang.

  22. Have you ever thought about going to one of the local newspapers and pitching the idea of doing a Dear Elsa column? You could take advice questions on anything/everything and it could be astro or not, whatever they wanted or needed.. Your blog could be your resume in the matter. It would be 1. a job you could do from home and 2. a huge advertisement for your site, which could be listed along with each article. You would be so good at it..

  23. nycgirl – thank you and yes, I have thought of it but I lack that gene. The “market yourself” gene at least this is true in the moment. Someone might help me with this, or I may come up with the energy organically but as for this minute, this is all I know how to do. Produce and create that is. I have little idea why I do this, believe me.

  24. And satori – about a year and a half ago… might have been 2 years ago I came on here and BEGGED for people to put up links. I explained my situation. I could not work at a normal job due my daughter. I also could not help my daughter but hoped that if helped other people’s daughters someone might help mine in turn. Do you know only one person responded?

    :smiles:

    It was Lupa as always. But I just couldn’t believe the lack of response. People are just to goddamned busy or what? Do they think other people are going to do things so they don’t have to?

    In whatever case there is a better response when I ask for things these days and I have no idea why. I was really desperate back then. I was desperate beyond belief which I guess might be the problem. No sense helping the people who need it the most?

    Anyway, whatever the reason, I am still here. But this kind of stuff really makes me wonder about humans. There are times I just don’t understand them at all.

  25. I’d forgotten how much I love this story!
    Elsa, is there somewhere on here to find copyable html buttons for links to your blog? I swear I’m seriously asking… it’s not like one of those infomercials where the gal asks, “Jim-Bob, this is such a great value! but how can someone like me ever find the time to put together a collection like this…” *snort*

    I just feel bad that I never gave you your juicer either. I’m just so damned lazy and don’t know html.

  26. when you say “hold one” I’m assuming you mean “hold on”. however, on second thought, and knowing you, maybe you do mean “hold one.” I wish. I guess I could go get my fake one.

  27. I know for me one rationalization I thought was: I never get much traffic on my site… everyone on my site (all ten?) already knows about ElsaElsa. but I guess we forget that every little bit is a drop in the bucket, but if there are enough sources the bucket fills.

    geez, I totally do sound like an informercial.
    Satori “only 19.95” Popeil

  28. LOL Satori ….

    I’ve had the link up for a while – and I’m hoping you’re right about every drop.

    I love this story Elsa. Satori is right, it needed to be told for many reasons and on many levels. Thank you 🙂

  29. “I was desperate beyond belief which I guess might be the problem.”

    That made me think of something Elsa. I flashed on my own recent desperate times, and how I couldn’t find work to save my soul. The more desperate I became, the more people avoided me, like I might be contagious or something. Maybe there’s something about our survival issues that (on a largely unconscience level) triggers the same fear in people: “I don’t want what you have, so I’ll keep my distance.” For a while there, the only people who were calling me were bill collectors. Smile.

    “Anyway, whatever the reason, I am still here.”
    I liked that the best of all. You GO, Elsa!

    And thanks for the story about your Grampa and his friend Paul. I really needed to hear that, and had to wince at all the couches I imposed on people thinking I knew best. Lessons that make you see yourself are the best ones I think.

  30. I’m cracking up because my 2.5 year old is withholding her poop currently, and I just want her to GO TO THE BATHROOM and I’m utterly fixated [control] on making this happen before her colon bursts, but to some extent I’m trying to control the uncontrollable…with a laxative as my back-up weapon.

  31. I agree with cassi, this story never gets old.

    I honestly tried to link every time you asked for it, E. Although I also don’t get a lot of traffic (it’s mostly just for my long-distance friends), I linked if I could. I don’t know the specific time you talked about here, but if I was around and didn’t help you out, I’m sorry. That’s no way to treat a friend. 🙁

  32. Morning Elsa, I just watched this for the first time since I’m a newbie. And it’s really interesting and timely for me….in my life, I have the hardest time handling requests for help. I have found that coming from some people, those requests are not genuine requests for help but attempts to suck me into their abyss, to control what I am doing my diving for an opportunity to dictate what and how I do something. 🙂 The danger for me now is assuming that everyone is equally disingenuous…not good and not helpful!

    I’m glad you’re still around online and I hope that traffic and revenues are up for you.

  33. Elsa, I come here at least 15 times a day, and really look forward to the video updates. They help me, they help my friends. If my problems weren’t money related I’d be on board for a consult in no time.

    I’ll begin working my facebook page- link it up baby!

  34. What a great story to illustrate this sort of thing. It is so rare that people HEAR you and give you what you are ASKING for. I will start paying more attention as well! Thanks Elsa this is invaluable. And also sorry to hear about your daughter. I think you have made this blog not only fly but soar!

  35. I understand this story perfectly, and I understand why you’d want to pass it on.

    You’re helping me! I really hope that matters, and I hope these egocentrics who think you hate them will slack off. I’ll admit I’ve been intimidated by you before, but I realize the difference between my feelings and the feelings of others. You snapped at me a little, and I recognized that I was out of bounds.

    It makes me think of the catcher in the rye, the metaphor not the novel although JD Salinger had both sun and moon in Capricorn.

  36. that is so true. the “control” part of, “If i give you this amount of money, you need to spend it on this and not that.” kind of analogy. So, it is controlling. I like the signs made by the homeless on the las vegas strip, where they write down, “i need money for beer.” lol So you know they’re gonna spend that money not for food, but for alcohol. 😀 It’s honest that’s for sure. fun aside,i get the meaning.

  37. I saw this video a few years ago. I remember finding you on youtube when Saturn was in Libra. That is how I got here in the beginning. Wish I had found you sooner.

    I really needed to see this video again. It sets me straight in several ways…. this isn’t lost on me for a minute. I am always game for a lesson about trying to control people or situations. I don’t like it done to me and I don’t want to do it to others….

  38. Taking advantage of soup’s posting (thank you, soup!) I asking, whomever knows, the video square shows, “A plugin is needed to display this content”. Anyone know what that plug-in is called?

  39. I have a friend right now that tries to give me stuff I don’t want. She tries to give me her size 8 and a half shoes and I wear a size 7. Shell make me a plate of food before she’s asked me if I’m hungry. I have to get firm with her sometimes which bothers me. I don’t like having to tell my friends to back the fuck off. Especially when they are kind and generous in so many ways. I think in her case it is about control though.

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