Dear Elsa,
I’m a late bloomer, and have been looking for a fulfilling career. I’ve finally found a job that can support me but still lets me be the high-energy butterfly that I am. I’m training to become a a Licensed Loan Officer, where I get to meet a lot of people and decide whether or not to approve their loans.
However, I’m petrified by my own fear of failure. How do I make sure I don’t sabotage myself in the process of learning this new life?
Help!
Petrified by Failure
Dear Petrified,
Oh the irony! Here you are in a position of authority, and you’re afraid you’re not good enough! How do you think the people who come to you for a loan feel?
I’m going to be blunt, but I’m not trying to be mean. I’m trying to help you, or to put more succinctly – help you to help yourself. The best way to beat your fear is this: grow up.
Tell yourself that you are in a position of authority and act accordingly. It doesn’t matter if you are scared or not. You have a job to do! You can expect that putting this sort of demand on yourself will save you.
Want something to equate this to? This is like having a baby. Before you have a baby, you can screw off in all kinds of directions. Once you have the baby, guess what? You have to clutch it up. You have to show up, day and night and in the middle of the night for that matter. You have responsibility, and it’s hard!
However, what happens to the person who fails to do this? What happens to the person who leaves their their responsibility for others to take care of? Now that, my dear, is a failure. That is a dismal human being.
If you want something to be afraid of, be afraid of that. Showing up as a parent or authority figure is something to be proud of and something you can do. It’s easy. When the fears surface, tell yourself to shut the fuck up and go to work. People are counting on you. You are counting on you.
Grown-ups have good jobs, and this is what you want, yes? Of course it is.
Good luck.
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