Cancer – Comforting Love

hearthOh Cancer. So loving, so sweet, so nurturing. They are stellar parents and caretakers, but what about partners?

I can already feel air and fire-heavy people cringing. Aren’t they ridiculously sensitive? Don’t they pull smother-mother moves constantly? Or even worse, don’t they expect you to mother them? And aren’t they, well, crybabies? Ugh. It all sounds so…soggy.

I get it! They are arguably the wateriest of the water signs, and that can definitely be a challenge. But they have so much to offer, and what they offer is so valuable. I will cop to bias here – every man I’ve dated seriously has had a Cancer Moon. I love Cancer. But even stepping back from that, I still think there’s just no better partner out there.

First, let’s get this mothering myth out of the way. It’s true that Cancers are nurturing and family-oriented. It’s even true that there is often a bit of a parent-child dynamic in their relationships. But it’s not universal, and it certainly doesn’t represent the totality of their experience. Instead, I view it from a lens of protection and caretaking. Growing up with a Cancer father, I learned that Cancer is one of the most fiercely protective signs in the zodiac, second possibly only to Scorpio. That crab shell they use to protect themselves also expands to shield the people they love. If someone hurts you, they will absolutely go to war to protect you.

And that shell has even more benefits. Remember, Cancer is family-oriented and nurturing. If you are family (and their partner is always family), the shell not only becomes a shield to keep enemies out, but also becomes the walls to a cozy cabin that keeps you warm during even the harshest winter. Being loved by a Cancer feels like soft blankets, a steaming cup of tea, and a roaring fire. It feels like home.

Also, while it’s true that Cancer is certainly sensitive (that shell protects a soft, vulnerable interior), sensitive doesn’t necessarily mean unreasonable or whiny. It means that they are connected to you emotionally and value your opinion, and as such your words carry the power to wound. Their sensitivity means that you matter.

In this way, Cancer helps us to be better versions of ourselves. When we realize the power we have to hurt the people we love, we are morally obligated to hold ourselves to a higher standard. We have to decide what is more important to us: preserving our ability to act out and say whatever we want, or our partner’s dignity and trust.

Finally, Cancer is just plain fun. When they love you, you become the center of their world and they will do anything to see you smile. And they are more than capable of making it happen. Cancer possesses their own distinct brand of humor. Standing in opposition to Capricorn’s dark, self-deprecating gallows humor, Cancer’s humor is downright loony. Think Robin Williams, Jim Gaffigan, or Helen Hong. Whatever their personal style, a Cancer partner is sure to have you rolling.

So if you want a partner with a thick skin who will give you plenty of space, Try Aries or Sagittarius. But if you want a partner who will be your support, your cheerleader, your defender, and your soft place to fall, look no further. Tea is on, and a fresh batch of cookies is almost ready. Cancer’s got you.

Have you been loved by a Cancer? What was it like?

Consult with Midara

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Cancer – Comforting Love — 59 Comments

  1. My SO has a fourth house stellium and I really value his devotion to his home and family. Always supportive, and caring towards myself and our pets, what else could I want?. Another bonus is he can cook 🙂.

  2. My husband has a cancer sun and moon. He is very loving to me and our pets. He likes to cook dinner and hold my hand while we watch masterpiece theater. He will accompany me to the swimming pool and the hot springs. I have to pay the bills, balance the checkbook and keep track of appointments, though.

  3. Great post! I always sighed in longing but felt happy for friends who have Cancer Moon as SO, men or women. There is something so gentle about these people! Cancer Suns have the same quality too, but I find them a bit too emotionally manipulative.
    A question though, what’s with the obsession with big breasts for Cancerians – men AND women? Are human beings that literal? Mothering = mammary glands?

  4. My dad had a Cancer moon. I LOVE Cancer sun and moon men. It’s the women I find difficult, because I just can’t deal with the cling. I’m also a very straightforward, direct person (Mercury in Sag) and I feel like no matter what I say, I’m going to hurt their feelings. So while I genuinely appreciate them, I would not survive a relationship or friendship with a Cancer. Not without feeling very frustrated.

  5. Idk I don’t find it as the stereotypical description goes.. there’s also a lot of confessional stuff.. Lena Dunham has mercury and moon in cancer I believe.. Liz phair does too.. a lot of the people who vent their spleen as singer songwriters.. but yeah I find that cancer has an us and them quality.. no share and care alike.. either you are their baby for a while and they’ll maul anyone who gets near you or get fucked..

    It’s a kind sign but I’d argue not polite.. extremely defensive.. idk why we sell this sign as someone who will make you soup and protect you and make you their world.. not all of them do it.. it’s not so cut and dried.. or else they would bore me senseless..

    Some are busy making themselves soup buying crystals and analysing their own dreams..

    Why is the description of them so boring? And so depressing. Cancer men seem to swim in the depths and I like them.. they don’t always make food. Hemingway wasn’t famous for that.

    But I really think they do sink pretty far down wherever they are.. I don’t know why they get so hurt.. they aren’t all gentle and manipulative.. idk how to describe it.. maybe emotionally manipulative in the way that they want you to say something reassuring to them..

  6. Yes @ Kri, they want you to uplift them, make them whole, I’ve found that. Am currently surrounded (again) with Cancer Suns, I always love them, but their needs, (to be listened to to a fault) or their needs to be uplifted (to a fault), their neediness – yes I love that as well as wish they’d just breathe in and BE (as well).
    I love their sensitivities, their ability to communicate this as well.

    Gee (though), they sure know how to pack a punch, they are Cardinal after all, remember that! Ka-Pow! And love their ability to push thru, along with their deeply felt emotions and Needs with a capital N.

    Yes, want them, love them, but ouch, How to Maintain them! (says Aqua Sun)

    • Yeah they wanna be listened to and empathized with.. as to uplifting idk.. bringing em down is ill advised..

      Words are higher value to them than foods.. my Aquarius moon roommate slanders and criticizes women then expects to cook his way out of it (Venus/Neptune/Uranus in Capricorn).. he has a lot to learn about boundaries

      I don’t know someone like this who can forget what you said after you stuff their mouth with tasty food

  7. Idk why but I feel like they aren’t the type to necessarily put themselves in service of people all day all the time.. the gut reaction is like why would someone do that for you? Are we selling people on why they should date them? Idk.. just bothers me.. if I enter my friends homes they don’t always immediately make me a hot meal and put me in their favorite blanket

    • It’s possibly figurative language for emotional security. You can be emotionally vulnerable with a Cancer and they will be there for you with empathy. Feels like a soft blanket wrapped tight and warm, safe. As a Cancer, if I don’t feel this way with someone, I never open up very far with them, which is totally ok. Not everyone has this side to them. But I know I can provide it, and I need it too, when it comes to those close to me.

  8. I think for them being able to be vulnerable is so key.. being able to be fully themselves and safe to show themselves to you.. and fully comfortable..
    I think when they let you in and you don’t accept them they take it badly.. acceptance is so important..
    Little kids are vulnerable and go around with dirty butts.. we are all a bit like that inside. A mom is someone you can trust to smile at you in these situations I would hope.. not be disgusted with your small animal self..
    I think acceptance in sex is really important. People can wax their buttholes all day but it’s still a butthole. If someone doesn’t love yours.. they can march out of your house with a poker up theirs.. everybody wants to be safe enough to be vulnerable and honest..

    One quality I hate in people is the unwillingness to own up to mistakes and rationalising things to appear perfect. I don’t get it. Verbal confession is a vulnerability that’s about revealing your darkness and blunders to others and daring them to accept you and sometimes divest the guilt. That’s I believe what was behind Lena Dunham’s scandal about what she revealed about her sister. People don’t understand she always is revealing her ugliest side. Daring people to accept her. Continually unmasking herself and demanding vindication. She’s not my favorite but.. I am always attracted to the vulnerable personal narrative. I have no explanation. I like being dunked in the subjectivity of someone’s imperfect experience of life. Hence I’m totally addicted to comedy.

  9. Also I feel like physical warmth is important to a lot of these people.. take their blanket and they cut you..
    Hurt them physically or emotionally and they cut you..

    I really believe they are one of the least polite signs.. hence they don’t really gel with Libra.. like they’re like why would you open a door for that guy we don’t know him from Adam.. I think defensiveness can breed a very cautious attitude to strangers.. and mostly people must be polite to strangers..

    I have a progressed Libra moon.. it’s really hard.. (gnashes teeth).. especially I feel like I’ll explode without a boyfriend idk.. speaking of which, ‘Fuck and Run’ is a classic ditty by Liz phair..

    I think the confessional character of this sign and how they express themselves is under discussed.. they don’t all not talk or keep secrets.. I found phoebe bridgers song ‘motion sickness’ to be very much of this style.. don’t know her chart yet..

    • People claim that water people are inscrutable and don’t talk and sit and pout.. at this point I haven’t found many like this.. other than some pisces moons.. they just sit and cry while my eyes pop out of my head

  10. I haven’t met a Cancer I yet that I don’t love. They are my people. I love Cancer in any placement. I have the rising and a Scorpio Stellium in my 4th. They are my true loves!!! (add Pisces to that, I adore them too!)

    *****************************************************
    I learned that Cancer is one of the most fiercely protective signs in the zodiac, second possibly only to Scorpio. That crab shell they use to protect themselves also expands to shield the people they love. If someone hurts you, they will absolutely go to war to protect you.
    *****************************************************
    ^^^ Yes, this is putting it mildly lol

  11. They will absolutely go to war on you too if you get on their wrong side and can be extremely unforgiving. I have never found Cancer to be particularly soothing and restful. They can be very demanding in personal relationships and not very good at asking for what they need or want. You are expected to intuit this and provide it and woe betide you if you don’t get it right. Cancer can also wallow in a victim complex. I always think of Princess Diana as an archetypal Cancerian. She did have remarkable qualities of empathy and compassion and she undoubtedly was badly treated, but she was also very manipulative, vindictive at times, and generally “high maintenance.”

    I usually get on very well with Cancer Suns and Moons, but I handle with care and avoid getting “sucked into” their emotional drama. It truly can be exhausting and demeaning.

    • I have to agree with a lot of what you’ve said. I haven’t had the best experience with Cancer signs. Though I have always thought it may be because I am Capricorn Sun and some of that fluffy sh*t gets on my nerves… hahaha.

      • Yeah but they can remind you to eat sleep and get massages if you wear yourself down 😀

        Capricorns who refuse to self care are kind of sad for me.. when they run themselves down in a desperate canter away from mothering themselves or sitting with their thoughts or drinking water even.. how is someone gonna care for others if they don’t manage themselves and are always running on empty? It seems like kind of showy austerity to me that ends up hurting the person.. it’s like running from your vulnerability is running from your true self somehow to me..

        I love my Cap friends and I have some progressed capricorn planets.. but sometimes choosing to sleep on a bed of nails is running away from the self.. idk how to explain it.. to be self reliant means to also take the time to stop and tune up

        • TBH, Virgo will do that too, and what is more Virgo will never stop telling you to eat right, take your medication, and exercise even when Virgo no longer wants anything to do with you otherwise. 🙂 You may have broken Virgo’s heart but he or she will still say “Stick to the diet to keep your diabetes under control” and Virgo will mean it.

          Cancer won’t .

          • Yeah but they’ll tell you and not help you.. what’s the point if they nag and don’t care? I love them but not that side of them. I also like a clean break. I mean like these will forcibly bring you there. And I feel like it’s about bringing them around til they get the idea.

      • Scorpio Moon. This makes me very aware of the games that people play and I do find Cancer to be quite adept at them.

        I think my main problem with some but not all Cancerian Suns or Moons is that they seem to feel sorrier for themselves than anyone else. My sort of Scorpio Moon thinks we have all been hurt and we have all hurt others. Start from the hurt you have done first.

    • I totally agree they go to war though.. hurt them or deny them and yes they will go to war in some way or stop associating with you.. unless you are a kid.. I fucking hope.. I’m sure some of them have cut off kids..

      PROTECT THIS HOUSE is one of their mottos I think..

  12. I think they become venomous when you deny them comfort.. emotional or physical.. if they are too cold or have to pee too long or need water.. or you swat away their concerns or ignore them or make them feel insecure..

    I find Scorpio moons to more want to you to intuit what they need than tell you.. but I haven’t been around one of these in a good long time..

  13. I think losing their center or being off center kind of makes them nihilistic or hate life.. when they don’t feel at home inside they can start questioning everything.. could be projecting with a sun Neptune transit rn.. also Uranus in my 4th… I just feel real confused..

    I feel like they can see you as cruel if you aren’t sensitive to them like you would be to a child.. they feel like they would never do that to you..

    I also think they are very motivated to seek comfort and hate discomfort.. are driven by it..

    I wouldn’t say they’re unforgiving as much as they don’t forget… They are looking or hoping for the exact sequence of words where you admit your fault and make the pain go away.. another water person has no problem finding these words

  14. I’ve bitched a lot about my intolerance for not being liked and accepted.. social discomfort.. as a woman, a friend, anything.. I get the disturbance in the force and I just CAN’T settle.. I can’t be pushed aside in a group or something.. no idea why I find it intolerable or just constantly complain about it.. I am learning to manage rejection but I didn’t feel a sense of belonging for a long time in my life..

    It could be because I am spoiled or was socially shelved as a kid and ok with it.. but ‘dont care what people think’ doesn’t help moments of social second besting or inability to charm guys hurt any less. I have Venus in cancer.. I haven’t found a way to manage social discomfort other than isolating myself or leaving the situation.. or romantic rejection of the smallest kind..

    Is it a Venus in cancer thing? To just feel terrible and insecure about others opinions or something? My friend with mercury in cancer also suffers from what looks like social anxiety.. but really just doesn’t want to feel unaccepted or unwanted..

    Life doesn’t always go the way we want and neither do situations.. I’m convinced that everyone has their insecurities and weak points.. everyone has a Chiron placement 😀 .. but idk why I and others with this placement seem to find this rejection intolerable.. if I get rejected multiple times I behave like a porcupine.. I’ve been whining about this and I only now notice myself behaving in adaptive ways to rejection.. i.e. speaking to friends and remembering people like me.. thing is I don’t see myself accurately and others opinions do matter.. I haven’t found a way to trick myself into thinking I’m good when others don’t want to know me.. I wanna achieve stuff so I want to know me.. would be nice

  15. I have been thinking some more about this. What has troubled me about certain Cancer Moons and Suns was not their penchant for drama or emotional intensity but the specific grievances they aired with me had absolutely no basis in reality. None whatsoever. Believe me, I did the research. (Virgo Sun/Scorpio Moon, of course I would, that is the first thing I would do).

    Yet they remained convinced they had been the victims of ill treatment that simply did not take place and blamed people who were totally blameless. No, they were not mentally ill. Their imaginations are so strong, they can believe anything. Unfortunately, I cannot.

    • Ohhhh.. is it possible they also scapegoated you or were threatened by you for some reason? Or were they fans of ‘truthiness’ and accused others of the same shit?

      I think they sometimes extort emotional reassurance and the stuff they need by any means necessary. Even by throwing out untrue accusations. Is my guess. But yeah that’s fucked up.

      You’re right about the sorry for self thing. I try to think like ‘though my problems are meaningless that don’t make them go away’ and say that everyone feels their own shit intensely regardless of relativity but.. those are excuses for feeling sorry for yourself. And being indulgent.

      But I don’t think that straight up sopping up others wounds first is a good idea. I think it is good to let the negative emotions we carry and lance our own boils first so that we are not losing our boundaries and able to care for others. In friends I look for people who don’t look down on my problems and who I want to support a lot as well. Feel like it’s hard to control how sorry for oneself someone can get

      • I wasn’t scapegoated. I don’t allow people to do that to me. I witnessed the Cancerians try to scapegoat others, having tried to enlist me on their side. This, I will not do.

        I don’t want to sound anti-Cancer. One of the best people I have ever met is a Sun Cancer, Moon in Leo, Mercury in Leo, Venus in Leo, and I would call him the complete package. I think all that Leo kept him honest, though. 🙂

        Cancer can be a real emotional whirlwind. Hang on to your hat. I also agree with posters who say Cancerians don’t always spend their time mopping up tears and boiling chicken soup. You might get quite the shock if you think they are Mother Theresas. I have found cool, detached Aquarians a more reliable source of support and more aware of what you actually want r need from them in that moment of crisis.

        • That’s quite interesting that you say that.

          I’ve thought about the blaming thing and whether I’m guilty of it.. I do tend to do the ‘sometimes an offense is the best defense’ thing. The game I’m playing is ‘am I the asshole here?’ constantly laying out the dirt of situations to unassociated friends so they can reassure me or tell me who’s fault a situation is. I’m not an easy person to be around.

          I love Virgos and Leos on the real. I don’t remember who criticizes me.. maybe I just can’t interest them enough for them to do it..

  16. My brother was a Cancer, but I hardly knew him (he was born a year before me).
    After reading things in astrology about this sign, I’m starting to understand him (I think).
    Well, better late than never. I wish I’d known these things before. But he went separate ways in early 20’s, left home for family reasons.
    I think we could’ve had a better understanding (me Venus in Cancer) if not so far apart – but so is life.
    He got out, I didn’t!
    I belatedly learned from my SIL that he was the one who wanted children (she didn’t), cooked for the household and was quite a marginal person and well-like by all.
    So, I missed out on my own Cancer brother! I think he was lacking in comfort as a child, but… I guess I didn’t know what to to do about that. Our mother was a heavy presence.

  17. That’s quite interesting that you say that.

    I’ve thought about the blaming thing and whether I’m guilty of it.. I do tend to do the ‘sometimes an offense is the best defense’ thing. The game I’m playing is ‘am I the asshole here?’ constantly laying out the dirt of situations to unassociated friends so they can reassure me or tell me who’s fault a situation is. I’m not an easy person to be around.

    I love Virgos and Leos on the real. I don’t remember who criticizes me.. maybe I just can’t interest them enough for them to do it..

    • I think negative Virgos “criticise” to deflect from their own sense of inadequacy, very heightened in Virgo, and positive Virgos do not mean to be critical at all. They are analysing the shit out of this situation or out of you, which means they are captivated, enthralled. It is all so interesting, you are interesting, there is so much to be said and thought about you 🙂

      My comments about Cancerians were not meant to demonise them, simply to point out that this energy can be very destructive as well as supportive. Cancer is a very creative sign, and that means they can really create problems for themselves and others. Or they can be great problem solvers. They certainly are not chicken-soup, forehead-soothing people. They can give you headaches no amount of chicken soup will ever soothe.

      But Cancer can be really resourceful and fertile in solutions and can make them work against the odds. I would never underestimate them. They are true leaders at their best.

      • What kind of headaches do they give? What kind of leaders are they? I don’t understand how or why they are cardinal in a leader sense cause I never see them lead. Other than my former boss who did take me under his wing but had his own problems.. my virgo boss is the best I’ve had.. I love him

        Asking only because I’m wondering.. I don’t see them as creative all the time.. I do see them as using their abilities in a negative way like you said but that could be projection on my part..

  18. My mother is a Cancer Sun. She’s protective of her children and she spoils us (even as adults – and we find it hard to be ‘weaned’ too at times.)

    Cancers who don’t have their feelings acknowledged and validated, especially by themselves, can be emotionally quite moody and emotionally manipulative – in my long-term experience – in order to have their needs met indirectly. I’ve seen this pattern with other Cancer Suns I’ve met (cousins, aunts, uncles.)

    They are very very sensitive people, and some of their strengths are: being a homemaker/building-running a home (a huge need for families), being the heart centre of a family, making others feel loved and cherished (my brother and I never doubted we were loved – a huge contribution of hers), showing strong business acumen/mindsets, and nurturing long-term relationships showing loyalty.

    My mother was/is at her best when she’s not overwhelmed and/or anxious about something that she feels she must do. Also, she’s more emotionally available when her emotional needs are being met more, especially if she tries to meet many of them herself via doing her thing, engaging in crafts, getting on with her personal business.

    I’m aware that regular contact by me, her child, is one of the factors for her to feel emotionally contained so I try to contact her regularly. Yet not as often as she’d like because I have my needs too.

    Dating…I kind of wasn’t attracted to Cancerian men due to the many Cancerians in my family, and knowing that they can be very mother-oriented. I dated one months before my husband, and my air planets (and I’m a Pisces, also very sensitive) didn’t like him calling me three times a day (even when I was busy at work) and getting hurt everytime I wasn’t talking much (because I was working!) Not the romantic sign for me.

    My brother is a Cancer Moon aquarian man (with hard uranian aspects) and for years I told him to date a Cancerian woman. He kept dating Air women all the time. At 42 he married a Cancerian Woman with lots of air and uranus hard aspects (like himself.) He’s in heaven!!

  19. I think of “comforting love” as Taurus, not Cancer. If a Taurus has decided you are part of their herd, food, clothing, wi-fi etc will be provided. You are not going without. Even if you want to.

    Fed, shod, vaccinated. Taurus will make you do it. 🙂

    And nothing will delight them so much if you start feeding them. They will look at the dinner you have served, no matter how slap dash, with an expression like “The Universe Is Here And I Was Right To Trust In It.” Maybe that is a Virgo Sun, responding to the earth and the fruits thereof.

    Cancer nurturing comes with “And if you don’t eat this all up, it means you don’t like me”.

    • Yeahh they do attach their identity to their cooking and what they give to you.. it’s also like ‘youd better like this or I’m never making you anything again’.. it’s so easy to upset their sense of security.. I also still hate that this sign is always described as what they can do for you.. like not even Libra is described as being marketed as someone who will do stuff for you.. like they have no personality apart from being mommies.. they are not so boring.. Taureans are more boring.. other than many..

      I’m puzzling a lot about their insecurity or the topic of insecurity in general cause I meet a lot of ones who are insecure about their appearance or characteristics and need reassurance or can’t stand rejection.. plus many who dish out criticism but can’t take it.. I think insecurity is a big topic for them.. and intolerance to rejection… Just as much as for caps

      • I think revealing the destructive potential of this sign is fair and an interesting point

        I think they can get mired in their own subjectivity and not see anyone elses point or extort emotional reactions and words from others.. they can depend on others to give them a sense of emotional equilibrium and prove them right.. they sometimes won’t rest until they get that sweet hit of validation or empathy or understanding and will pick at you until you give it.. I think

    • I think a man can’t live off bread alone and being listened to and seen and empathized with is more important than being fed.. if someone only feeds me it makes me flash back to inadequate parenting where they just make sure you’re fed but don’t really care for you in other ways

    • Taureans don’t always like what I cooked unless it tastes good.. I feel like it’s less about the effort for them and more about the taste.. but I don’t know for sure.. I try not to make people food unless I’m sure it’s good.. I don’t have that

  20. What an adorable post! Of course I agree, I am a Cancer Sun.
    And I do think any man is lucky indeed to come into my orbit! My sweetheart has a very loving Cncer Moon too. He feeds me!

  21. I have two dear Cancer friends I adore. One has a heart of gold and will help anyone in need before herself-she is also going through a second round of Chemo for Breast Cancer and when I call to see how she is, she is the one to make ME laugh! Which right away puts things at ease. I sat with her during treatment and offered my hand and she took it and squeezed it so hard like a scared child, I felt like I was her parent. When she cries she floods. When she’s in a goofy mood, she cracks everyone up. She is the best mom and raised her child to be an exemplary example of grace, compassion and kindness.
    My other Cancer friend is just loyal to the end. She loves her pets to death and nurtured them as her own children.

    I have had two male friends, one a Cancer Sun and one a Cancer Moon. The former, would come over to build me shelves and then take me to dinner, take me out to a beautiful new location to sit by the water, and surprise me by pulling out a lounge chair, and covering me with a blanket. Thungs like that and his humor was the best! He unfortunately had some extremely life altering events happen (three or four in three years) and started to cling and when I got upset, he got VERY mad. That’s when I saw the dark side.
    It got so weird I had to stop being friends, as well as did others with him. He tried stalking me, and showing up uninvited to Class Reunions and acting out, so had to cut off all avenues of communication with him. Sad.

    The second man, wore a mask if being sweet and nurturing but found out it was only because he wanted something. I also had to cut him out of my life- though he kept trying until he couldn’t anymore.

    I love them all but am more aware of the dark side now of this sign.

  22. Cancer Men are THE best sign of all.
    They usually balance it out with a little Gemini influence in their scopes so you won’t be bored. Much 😉😜

  23. I hate to say it, but this is the sign I’m always in conflict with. I find them irrational and demanding. They think I’m an iceberg. That’s my Libra Moon. Cancers have trouble with the coolness and detachment.

    My Baby Scorp (just turned 16) has a Cancer Moon. She just lectured me the other day about “not thinking about her needs”. I don’t mean to do it. I go deep into my mind (Air) and basically forget about what’s around me. We’re trying a compromise.

    • Maybe it’s not irrational if you copped to doing it..

      Don’t the needs of the daughter go before your own? I was raised to think that children are very important but also idk cause it might be cultural.. sometimes it’s not possible for a child to get what they need

  24. There are not a lot of posts on this particular sign on this site.. more attention is given to Libra, Scorpio, virgo, Capricorn, Taurus, etc. Just an observation

    But I can see many have problems with this sign..

  25. I have Cancer Sun, Moon and Mercury (sun/mercury sq. Pluto to boot). I’ve read through a lot of the comments here and can’t say I agree with a lot of them but perception is reality. I find we’re a very misunderstood sign, usually because of the language used to describe us. Heck, sometimes I don’t even understand my sign. But usually it has to do with incompatibility. If you aren’t sensitive, you will think we’re “over sensitive.” That’s ok. You just don’t hang with us at that level. (For lack of a better word. We are not in any way better than anyone just because we’re sensitive but I couldn’t figure out a better word than level.)

    That said, I find the most “difficult” (not to me) thing about Cancer to be the secrecy. We are so private. I think that’s why Scorpios understand us so well. But when I meet a Cancer, I can usually tell. They keep things close to the vest. Even with a fire rising, like I have. You won’t see the inner workings until I know I can trust you. This comes off annoying to some people, but we have to test it out here and there. We’re good people to those who are good to us but we have to get to that point. I can count on one hand the people who really know me, and that is fine with me.

    My Cancer placements have thrust me into teaching as a profession, then quitting that to become a mother and homemaker. The passion I feel for this, well I can’t begin to tell you. Nothing makes me more fulfilled. I’m only sorry I didn’t start earlier so I could have at least 3 more children. What a disgusting LIE it is that I was told as a girl that I could be “so much more than just a mom and wife.” As if children and a home aren’t literally the most important things in life. It’s why we do what we do out in the world – to make the world a place for the next generation to thrive. Honestly what else could I live for? The only goal of my life is to live this truth. And it is Truth. You think Cancer’s weak and vulnerable and just crying all the time? Think again. We are a cardinal sign. If you knew me and my life, this is my mission every single day and I’m willing to fight for it, even though it’s been devalued and mocked for years, and in my entire neighborhood full of families, I’m the only one home with my children. The community women (and children) used to have needs to come back.

    Anyway…..homemaking for the future! 🙂 In just a little while I’m starting my Thanksgiving baking. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

    • ‘If you aren’t sensitive, you will think we’re “over sensitive.”’

      I relate to this, especially when it comes to aquarius moons I know.. fuckin harsh

      Anyway.. dolce I read your comments sometimes.. you maybe use your cancer placements more maturely than, say, I do.. but I have other things there too..

      I do not have a cancer sun (I have other placements) and I am not private I don’t eat my feelings I do spill them immediately (I have a loose moon mercury conjunction).. I have been understood by Scorpios and pisceans though.. but I’m not one of those who eats my feelings or doesn’t tell them..

      But I have to tell you the whole being a mother is like what you’re meant to do thing is fucking terrifying to me personally.. but I don’t only have cancer placements.. and yet you know..i just don’t want it to be my only thing really don’t.. I don’t want the whole we will mommy you and make you pudding thing to be the whole deal it is pitifully boring

      Idk sorry.. I tend to play out the defensive and controlling part of Venus in cancer a lot of the time.. but I do like to listen

      • Hey Kri!

        Being a mother isn’t my only thing either, it’s the main thing of my life. It’s not for everyone and I don’t think it should be a forced role, or that there’s only one way to do it. I’m only 90% Suzy Homemaker 😉

        I just can’t stress the importance, for all of us, to have a safe, warm place to land, and to me that is the home. Truthfully it goes beyond the mommy thing with giving pudding boring stuff you referred to (that would annoy me, why are you giving me pudding, I don’t want it haha) – it’s our roots, our tribe, our place, everything that gives us our deep down identity and a well of strength from which to draw.

        I’m called to provide that as much as possible, and to preserve where I come from, our traditions, our past, our heritage, which has been obscured over the last few generations in my family and it seems for a lot of families. The dominating culture doesn’t help at all with this. I flitted a lot of it away when I was younger. Anyway, I’m not at all perfect but providing that home is the only thing I hope to accomplish in the long run. I have other goals as well, but, funny enough, in achieving them, I’ll achieve that main goal. It all contributes!

        Anyway, I always loved that quote: “If you want to change the world, go home and love your children.” I truly believe that if we placed more importance on family and community, and commitment!, we’d all be a lot better off. We’d all remember we have a place we belong. Somewhere from where to grow.

        If you want to do it, do it in your way. Mothers are all different. My mom was a working mom but she was always 100% there and she was mom first. She’s a Cancer too 🙂

  26. I am googling the Buddhist idea of dukkha again.. do people with Venus in cancer or other placements like this tend to experience social rejection and discomfort more harshly? It might be immaturity or a Saturn transit, but I can’t stand not being comfortable in the moment or feeling ashamed or not allowed to be safe..

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