Can You Choose Who You Love?

moon love coupleMy husband asserts, you can’t choose who you love. I think this is true and it leads to some interesting situations.

Ideally the person you love, loves you. But this is not always the case. It seems pretty common a person love another person and the love only flows in one direction. In other cases, you may love someone more than they love you.

I guess we think there’s nothing you can do about this, around here. But I wonder if you agree?

Do you think something like this would be shown in a natal chart?

What’s your experience with loving others who may or may not love you?

What about someone loving you who you don’t necessarily care for?

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Can You Choose Who You Love? — 8 Comments

  1. Venus is discriminating when it comes to love. Synastry and composite charts would highlight the beneficial aspects, house, and zodiac sign placements favoring a personal relationship.

  2. My eyes went biiig when reading the first sentence. My venus square saturn doesn’t agree to the option of not choosing to whom to give your heart.

  3. I hear you with the attraction part , some I have been so strongly attracted to, I may have let that seesaw be hurtful .
    These days
    I am built with a force field , pretending it’s a twirling baton,
    So strongly attracted ? , but packing defensive gestures .

  4. If by “choose” you mean make a rational decision, no (says the Libra 😆). Those decisions may be nice and safe, but will lack passion in the long run.

    There’s nothing rational about genuine love, except that it makes total sense in your heart, in your gut – it’s spiritual and practically feels otherworldly when it starts happening.

    But it needs to be mutual, otherwise it’s just limerence. In which case, you need to do some inner work on your attachment style and unresolved childhood trauma.

  5. So often we mistake desire for love. Intense desire is mostly all romantic love is. What exactly a person desires would depend on the natal chart.

    I think desire can be transformed, and therefore you can stop loving someone, at least in a romantic sense.

    Now real love is different. For example, love between a parent and a child. That’s why real love is wanting the best for someone. It is not self-serving. I do think it’s a choice.

    • I should have said it *can* be a choice. I think we can love anyone we choose to love. But we can’t always choose not to love those we love. Again, for example, love between parent and child. Sadly, even children who were treated horribly by their parents often still love their parents. Given a choice, I think many may choose not to. So it’s yes and no for me.

  6. I go for people VERY RARELY. I feel like I have very few options in life, that’s how rare it is for me to have that kind of affection for anyone. Pickiness sucks. It hasn’t benefited my life at all to dislike almost everyone who goes for me. It horrifies me when someone else likes me and it’s not mutual–I feel obligated to like them back, but I can’t even stand to settle for them. But I can’t keep anyone I do care about.

    Venus/Saturn, of course. I wasn’t meant to have love in this lifetime.

  7. Moon Oppose Saturn – I loved once haven’t loved since.
    You cannot make yourself love someone, some people say you can grow into loving someone which you can but its a different kind of love. Its not passionate raw love. There is a difference, What do you want out of love?

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