How and what do you work on within and without yourself to finally be in a place to recognize, cherish and honor a true love?
Starry-Eyed and Full
I think the capacity one has to love another in completely contingent on their capacity to love themselves. For example, if I can look in the mirror and see my (perceived) body flaws or examine my personality and have awareness of my various foibles, and accept them, then I’ll be able to do the same for you.
But if I can’t do this, then I am going to be looking all over the place for someone to project upon.
Or I am going to be looking all over the place for someone to oppress… someone I can take apart so I can feel better about myself, ala “I am skinnier than her!”
Or I have a nice car / a rich husband and she does not. Or my kid got an A and her kid got a B+, therefore I am okay. I am elevated.
I don’t think it takes much of a stretch to see that this kind of person is going to give and have lousy love. Because looking for someone to dump on or pick on is a full time job for one. You’re very busy. And also this stuff will ultimately get projected onto the partner, if not sooner then later. All in the name of, “You always hurt the one you love…” Er… no you don’t!
So I would say the answer is to find a way to accept yourself as an individual in all your jacked up glory, which will allow you to do the same for others… which they will really appreciate! They will love you for this as a matter of fact. And astrology can help tremendously because it’s provides such a concise map of a human being.
I once told someone astrology could show them their own ass and it can. I told her if she was willing to look at her own backside… which everyone else can see anyway, she might become so fascinated she would not have time to pick apart another person’s. And if you can manage to see and accept your shadow, you’ll be able to easily accept mine and it’s right about here you have a chance at true love.
So what do you think? Anyone else want to weigh in?
Hm tough question. I’ve actually been thinking and reading a bit about this shadow business and love for a while, coupled with some therapy and the reviews are mixed. Most astrologers seem to say, work on your shadow and then you can love someone. But from real life examples with friends, the only ones who were successful in accepting and working with their shadow selves are the ones who had a loving companion to support them and accept their bad sides, and help them grow. What mostly helps (if you don’t have a bf) if just being detachedly observant to your thoughts and reactions and asking yourself: why did I say that? Why do I feel this way? Why am I angry? Both love and shadow work can’t happen in vacuum. They are processes.Part of daily life. So my view is to get you hands dirty first, in order to know how to clean them. And as for astrology so far it has only confirmed things I already felt deep inside and brought them out into day light( guilt and martyr complexes, masochistic tendencies and victimization) so when I hear those voices at least I know their names so that I can tell them to fuck off! 🙂
Elsa has this quote: all dogs shine out!
I guess I try to make sure I shine out, let who I am be seen, and make sure that it’s the real me. that means the light and the shadow, the whole me. it also means sometimes feeling shame about who I am and letting it shine out anyway. which seems to make the shame smaller.
usually people still don’t seem to “see” me. but when someone does, wow, it will be real.
satori! That’s my daughter’s quote. She came up with that when she was 5… she made us all buttons that read:
“ALL DOGS SHINE OUT!”
I thought I’d die. She thought all dogs should do their best… and she also thought dogs were people too, so I thought it was brilliant and adopted her philosophy on the spot.
I’m not sure, but what a lovely topic to think of on this lovely Piscean Moon-ruled weekend…
I think that astrology can help to find compatability, but not true love. That’s a stage beyond compatibility, isn’t it?
If you find someone who is compatible with you, with whom you feel completely “at home”, with easy communication (very, very important), then true love can often develop, but not always.
I don’t think there’s a recipe for recognising it, other than to follow your heart and intuition.
What to work on? What Elsa said. Compassion, as well as passion. Avoid looking for, or aiming for, perfection – it doesn’t exist, in you or others. Number one rule: Keep a sense of humour – it’s essential in this mad, mad world.
It’s helpful to be reminded to act with trueness and honesty and intention to myself and others.
I love this quote from Khalil Gibran. It encompasses all my innate idealism about what I belive to be true love.
“It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment,it will not be created for years or even generations.” Khalil Gibran
Togi – yes! I feel the same way. Long companionship can inspire caring, but it does not create the spiritual affinity that describes romantic love. That exists in nature as a divine mystery, totally out of our control and untouched by human manipulation. And no matter what people do and how they arrange themselves with others, love just cannot be created from scratch. The raw material must be there between two people…and when they meet it ignites 🙂
Kashmiri, or anyone else, has that Piscean thing kicked in yet? I’m just wondering why I’m all dreamy and mushy..
Ohhh I think your dead on Elsa in so many ways.
I usually have more compassion than contempt for people who are like this tho….unless they weapon up and hurt a person.Then…its on.
Self acceptance is more powerful than anything. I honestly think Natal astrology does free you because you finally understand who you are. And feel empowered. Because then you know your strengths and weaknesses. Wow! What… a… BLESSING!
Its like God/universe handing you a tool box when youre born and you have to figure out what tool is what and how to use it (God sends you projects every now and then so you learn). Everything in the toolbox can be a tool or a weapon(think about a hammer).
And your job, while you familiarize yourself with everything, youre suppose to build something with it. And during the lifetime you do… you become an apprentice then a journeyman then a master craftsman.
I used to tell my son he didnt come with a manual when raising him
But…guys?…we actually do.
People perceive you as you perceive yourself. I have seen this over and over in my lifetime.
Interesting. I wish I experienced that.
What Satori said above, 10 years ago, still rings true for me today.