Can A Scorpio Man Stay With Someone They Don’t Love?

Dear Elsa,

I would like to know if Scorpio males can stay with someone if they are not truly in love. I sometimes get the feeling a Scorpio will stay in a bad relationship rather than being alone.

Cancer Woman|
Australia

Hi, Cancer Woman.

I’d say a Scorpio man (or woman) can easily stay with someone they don’t love although I think you’ve got the motive wrong.

Scorpio would stay for the resources the person provides, be it money, sex or some other form of energy.

Consider the Scorpios who lurk here. Is it because they love me? I don’t think so!

Anyone else?

Have a question about life or astrology? Ask here!

108 thoughts on “Can A Scorpio Man Stay With Someone They Don’t Love?”

  1. Hello I met this aqua sun moon in scorpio man. I am cap sun moon in pises Omg! He so sexy I melt with him. I am older by 10 years. It started out him being my sugar baby but now he is all over me, calling me every day he says that I made him feel very special like never in his life. Hmmm??? four failed marriges. What do u think.

  2. Hi I’m a Scorpio women and been married to a Taurus man for 17 years. Before we got married it was great I thought I’d be happy forever . About a year after married we had our first fight. Wow explosive !! I saw a side to him I’d never seen before. I started to hate him. I withdrew and stopped communicating as it always ended in fights. I knew I’d married the wrong person. I didn’t leave as I was pregnant and was too scared to leave. Our relationship got worse , violent physical and emotional – and went on for years and years and three children later and I still hate him. he acts like nothing’s wrong always happy and jolly but I find that Extremely irritating. Everything he says or does really irritates me. I just turned 40 and now I’m soo scared that my life is wasting away. I have so much passion in me I just don’t show it to him as I don’t love him and can’t connect to him emotionally. I have NEVER a told him I love him ever since our first fight 17 years ago! But he doesn’t seem to care! My kids also can’t connect to him and always only want to hang out with me as they saw all the abuse at first hand. I always thought I was a strong person. But in this marriage I became so weak. I never thought my life would end up like this.
    I recently found out an old boyfriend from 20 years ago is going through a separation and this news got me so happy and excited. I want to reconnect with him as I know we had so much fun together but am so scared of rejection and of course someone finding out . And I feel if I don’t connect with him now then the opportunity will be gone forever and I’ll never be happy again.

  3. Hi I a true Scorpion my life has been like a best seller each page is riveting my life is always thinking planing hoping praying and guesting most of all self sacrificing. But never boring. The Scorpio is of a patients nature and never wastes it’s venom.

  4. Hi Elsa, my scorpio just broke up with me. Hw said he did not live me anymore. It was my fault. I kept pushing him and acting so unappreciative to his loving efforts and attention. We’ve been together for 14 months. Whenever i was unhappy, he always did his best to cheer me up. And realized my mistake. We’ve been trying to work it out for a while. What should I do? I told him I’m very sorry and to please reconsider.

    1. We are friends now. He came over to my house and we had a good talk then watched movies. Should i pretend that I’m not affected and happy to be friends? Will that make him change his mind?

      1. Hi, Michele. If he’s a Scorpio and you broke up yet he’s still “friends” with you then I’d say he’s still interested. Otherwise, you’d not see him again for a long, long time. I wouldn’t play games but instead be very honest about your feelings. I think he’s testing you because you treated him poorly and he wants to know what’s really inside your heart. The not loving you part is his self-protective shield. That’s just my take on it. Please don’t try screwing around with his head pretending, because it only gets uglier from there.

        1. He’s still willing to be around me. Should I tell him that I feel the same way? Or just maintain contact? I don’t really know what to do… scorpios are just so confusing. i shouldn’t beg but i also have to be honest about how i feel. Any tips as to how best to go about this?

          1. When the time seems ok, I would ask him outright why, in his heart of hearts, he broke up with you and emphasize you are ready to hear the real, bare, deep dark reason. Maybe you already did that in your talks but Scorpio likes to bury these things and make you dig for them – just to be sure you’re sincere. I would ask myself why you might have felt unappreciative in the first place and what would happen to change that? It would need to be a permanent change because Scorpio likes to be appreciated. It’s something that doesn’t always happen easily for them. Good luck!

  5. Well, amazingly enough, he agreed to still take me with him to go meet his brother and his partner. We’re leaving today and will be staying there for 4 days. I don’t know what’s gonna happen. I’m not even gonna hope anymore. I’m just gonna enjoy this break and see where it takes us.

    I’m an aries by the way.

    1. “I kept pushing him” I’m an Aries by the way.
      I am a Scorpio that was with an Aries for some time. The pushing ended it. I remained as friendly as I could with him for a time….but he ended up pushing again. He was just being himself. Someone else may have done well in the situation. I knew it would never work. I eventually had to just amputate….

      He went on, so did I. We were both better for it.

      1. My scorpio still wants to be part of my life and i also want him there even though we’re just friends. What do you suggest I do? We got along so well but lately I started to expect things from him instead of appreaciating all the effort he does do. How do I make him see that there is a chance? Oh and I’m not the patient type too.

  6. I’m Pisces and my scropio bf and I have some down time rite now he still say he love me but wen he say it I don’t feel it anymore I love him soon much and it killing me that he pulling away. I don’t want him to be unhappy but I just found out that I am pregnant and o not sure if I should tell him now cause I don’t want him to stay because of the baby I want him to stay because he love me. I don’t want to lose him but I don’t want an unhealthy relationship I want us to be happy with each other. Do u think if I tell him he stay even if he doesn’t love me anymore.

  7. Aqua girl…moon square Pluto scorpio moon. I vowed never to fall in love again and I recently met a scorpio man..5 planets in scorpio. Of course I asked him out…he blushed and said he couldn’t because he was already committed. It feels karmic. I get along really well with the women. And I don’t like women that much. This is a one in a million man. Guess it’s not meant to be though.

    1. Hi Aqua, I am an aqua lady too. I am going to tell you straight faced! Get out! Fast sweetie! Listen to me. I wish I saw your post before today. You see above, look at these poor people, they are being taken advantage of! You leave him right where he is! We are special ones not to be abused and believe me on my life sworn in honesty to you that this will be the worst move you make in your lifetime! My chart is everything the same as yours. We are really good kind people that don’t deserve this type of individual in our lives. I have deep suffering. Years with a monster. Five children born in a sad home. Whores coming to my home every other year, phone calls from random women that bother my sacred home for my children. Years of no love, just abuse. I don’t wish my last 27 years with that monstrosity on anyone! He will ruin you inside. I know you are strong and can get him where it hurts but still if you can avoid it all together then why not have a real life or at least wake up wanting too. You will try to have hope but no it only will only always get worse. Always worse! If I didn’t have children then I would burn him alive in bed! Do you hear these poor poor people pleading these men to stick around! That is sad for them. They don’t think they deserve better in life. Don’t end your breathing. Ever wonder why so many wives don’t speak up on these boards? Maybe they figure hey my throat got slashed and so no one stopped it from happening to me so ehh… I am helping you today. You know he tried to take everything from me… but he didn’t take my confidence.
      Good luck,
      This isn’t the journey partner for you love, live and let live

    2. You said, this is one in a million man. No that is what he creates surrounding you, creating this bull..t illusion that mask of intensity hanging over you to cloud your judgement. Confuse you is how it starts. Listen I can help you. I didn’t know years ago how or why. How to put a force surrounding myself where he could not obtain access to my personal. I got better and stronger than ever. Now his attempts are powerless. You can be strong to do this. If you are still with him, I am sorry for you. I could help if you need me. It’s separating, closing off, and depending if you are with seething want for equal suffering for him. So it overall depends on your specific case. I would help others not just Aquariuses but unfortunately some can’t help themselves. I think they just aren’t strong enough. I am done with him and although it’s unhealthy for myself, I want him to receive 27 years of suffering. I always told him, you don’t manipulate me, no need to do so, there is the door but some people like delving into dark waters. Many people try hard to have me be let it be. No you don’t take 27 years of my life, in moments of weakness he hit me down on the ground hard! I am very strong! I got up every single dam time! Stronger and colder!!!! I don’t have little babies anymore, moments of weakness! He will not extend his hand, believe me on that one, he will smash your head down harder love! This is the monster under your bed that as a kid, were scared of. I took everyday that he served up his unbelievable cruelties! Everyday stuck! I always got back up on my own! Just as they bestow strong sting, we too bestow unique abilities to say the least! He doesn’t even see me coming! I won’t rest til he gets his equality relationship! Remember that is what he seeks equality and so with my teeth clenched, honey you will get equality in all areas baby! Right to the bitter end and I do mean to the bitter end! Look up the articles on Aquarius compatibility! I wish I had that research to lean on back then. Anyway, they say in one article, how this relationship is equivalent to the godfather! Yes! They are most accurate. To the bloods we go. One of us must die! He must endure what he has inflicted upon my children and myself. Every single slight made to me must be done in return to him, before I take my last breathe. It is right and fair. I read how sex is some kinda transforming spiritual bonding for them! Do you know what I did? F him. I held back all feeling one night in bed with him.holding all motion and verbal away from the act. Basically giving him the feeling of having sex with a robot or f me doll per se! He didn’t act anyway to indicate his hurt! But I knew that bastard was masking! I knew he was hurting inside! Good make me feel all tingly inside! I refuse to stop,I am being appreciating to him, only reciprocating what was given to me from him is now being returned! I warned him straight faced stop slighting me!

  8. Stupid nonsense about transforming to a Phoenix and what not! Are you f…ing kidding me man! I told him come a little closer sh.tbag, I will transform you! Please excuses! Listen he is a user transforming to manipulator and so on.. Control freak. Dishonest. He can’t deal with dishonesty! Wait what?# You can’t deal with dishonesty?! Yes. He can’t because his blood is dripping dishonesty! Coward! Listen look for motive! If he is settling with you there is reason aka motive for him doing so. HE ALWAYS HAS AGENDA!

    1. Hi! I’m new here. The reason why I’m
      Here is because i recently dated a Scorpio Guy November 17th. I’m a cancer woman
      July 11. I dated this guy and we quickly hit it off. He was smart, funny, sweet, smooth talker. I was a Virgin and I told him. We ended up having sex he molde me into what he enjoyed. He loved kissing me, having sex with me, my energy and kindness. However we broke up a few times because of family, he needed a lot of attention, I was being drained. However he did talk to me, he confide in me. But after the last breakup he began acting cold. I went to his house once he didn’t know and I saw him
      With a girl I believe she’s an ex even
      Tho he says their just friends. I’m pregnant he knows about it. He wanted me back an I said no twice until I agreed. Then o realize he was still talking to her. So I broke it off. I sent him a big text message. Letting him know I was sprung, how I can’t be with him
      How I’m in love with Someone else, even tho I’m not. I told him I don’t hate him
      Because when you hate someone you put a lot of attention to those emotions and you give it life and that’s not what I’m about. I did tell him we can keep
      Contact so he can be part of the babies life. He said goodbye, bye for good I love you but bye. When he said those words I felt nothing. Everything was a joke to
      Him.
      How can someone claim
      To love you and their actions are different. His going back to
      The girl
      He obsesses about and cheated on him.
      Why can’t
      People see when something good is staring at you right in your face.
      The worse part is.. we live 5 minutes from each other and I saw him
      With that girl and that dog at his house. I think he convinced his mom
      To let
      That girl
      Move in to
      Her house. So sad. His very manipulative
      Even then I won’t allow myself to
      Hate.. whatever Feelings I had for
      Him are fading. I bought a house 7 hours away from where I currently live. I’m going to be a single mommy, but at least a happy one. I realized he only wanted me
      For my Light, my energy, I’m
      Extremely happy, hardworking, goal oriented sex obviously.
      I made him feel better about himself
      I motivated him, the sad part is .. he just wanted to show his ex he was doing better because of me. (Not himself).. I feel my energy is back and I can be happy with my little bundle

    2. I remember he mentioned his first ex ans Claimed she cheated on him broke up. that was his high school sweetheart.
      When I asked him, who this girl was
      He said an old high school friend, they also worked together and I guess she was looking for him for emotional support that night. But I believe whoever she is .. he build up feelings for her. Strong feelings. She’s in a relationship with someone and she knew that he was too. when I saw them in the bedroom
      Sitting next to each other very intimately.
      She didn’t bother to speak up, neither did he. Instead of contacting me on Monday our anniversary he went to her.
      He didn’t bother taking to me till Wednesday that’s because he wanted sex. I went away for a week and he contacted me after I blocked him for a whole week. He said he wouldn’t bring another girl over to the house. But she was there Sunday night, Monday night
      And I have no idea what other night.
      He seem like he really wanted to be with me until she showed up.

    3. He kept saying he didn’t cheat, I belive he didn’t that night. But he lied. You can’t trust someone after they lied. He kept making her a priority. He got a ring and was going to propose to me. Instead He said (Bye) for good. I even tried to keep peace so when the baby arrives I can send him pictures
      We even agreed on the baby name together. But he simply said Bye. Took this other women to his house.. that quickly.
      We live down the street to each other
      We bumped into each other and he is
      Parading her around. I have to be the bigger person.

    4. I don’t know a Scorpio very well.. except for my stepdad and he always goes back to my mom, no matter how tough he tries to be he always goes to my mom. His so affectionate, nice, loving, jealous towards my mom. To the point mom gets annoyed but they get along so well. I’ve never knew anyone like the Scorpio I dated his like 35 and playing childish games.

  9. Harboring others resources. Agenda that is what were talking about here. I know exactly what he is after. He is after my inheritance. Guess what I am steps ahead of him. He isn’t getting a penny. I warned him. Don’t keep slighting me. Unrelenting a..hole.

  10. Let me say. He is a coward. He fears. I don’t. I will choke you out with the same hand that once extended to you in time of need! They are always looking for cancer signed women! Because of manipulating these poor women. Yeah compatibility with their kind hearts. Noooo not with me, once I deem you a crap turd, that’s final. Hey I did extensive research baby! He goes to such great measures to make you believe his utter nonsense but it is just nonsense!

  11. I’m a Scorpio sun/mercury/pluto venus in Libra at 28 degrees. I personally enjoy lurking on this site and I enjoy consulting with Elsa because I enjoy her viewpoints. I would have to disagree that I would stay in a relationship with someone I don’t love. Love (Venus in Libra) is one of the most important aspects of a relationship to me. Elsa knows this I’m sure from our consultations. All I want is to find my life partner. If that love lacks on my part I can’t stay because I don’t think it’s fair to that person. I’m hoping with Uranus opposing my Venus/sun/Mercury in the 4th that my life partner will show herself. I understand that transit can be tulmutous, but I have faith and hope. Not all Scorpios are the users or abusers they’re made out to be by the way. It just depends on the person. It’s kind of like Elsas post “what makes a psychopath” or what aspects make one you can’t tell that nor can you tell whether a Scorpio is a user/abuser just by their sun sign. There are good ones and there are bad ones just like everyone else in my opinion.

  12. Well as one of the lurking Scorpio’s I can’t speak for others but for myself I stay not only because I love you but also because you are a fantastic astrologist and most accomplished story teller. You give great advice and you speak in a direct way that you don’t have to think what did she mean by that exactly. There is no confusion about what you mean and I for one appreciate that.

  13. I am scorpio rising with north node in scorpio in the 1st conjunct the ascendant. I have taurus in the 7th house (descendant), and I have stayed in the past in relationships because I had trouble letting go, trouble admitting that the relationship wouldn’t work and trouble knowing when to cut my losses.

    I am very happy with my current partner (taurus sun and other personal planets in that sign) yet I see that we both might be capable of being in a relationship for security and other resources. The fact that my partner is good with money is a very appealing factor to me, apart from his sense of humour (sag rising) and his stable and grounded personality.

    It took me dating a taurus for years to accept that money, resources, sex can be factors to stay in a relationship!

    Being a pisces I don’t see myself staying in a loveless relationship – it would be soul-destroying for me. Yet I am only 41 so time will tell – ah!

    But I get that it is possible. Elsa talks about currency and values, and she is right I think. For some people, love is not the currency that they most need. If love comes in the package – for some people who value more things other than love – then it is the nice cherry on the top.

  14. Suspect the scorpios you know have venus in Libra (common for scorpios) which is why they don’t like being alone. I notice a lot of scorpios marry for money as the 8th house rules other peoples money so I would agree with resources.
    Elsa, your newsletters are so insightful! Thank you. Loved your recent one about Saturn entering Capricorn.

  15. I am Scorpio November 21 and have a Scorpio brother who is October 26. He has been married for over 20 years to a Cancer lady, and has repeatedly cheated. He will not leave her, and she will not leave him. I may be wrong, but my impression is that both enjoy the “social status” of being married too much to make any changes. I also think that their “egos” are part of it. They like to “look good” and “normal” to other people. Separating and divorcing would not “look good” to them.

    I am also a Scorpio, and have never cheated on anyone. EVER. Go figure.

  16. My double Scorpio Dad went from a position of absolute control to an equal in marriage to my Capricorn (Libra Asc) mother. She took the reins after being a stay at home mother turned career lady! She out paced him financially and mentally and reformed the union according to her directives. He could never leave even though the love/friendship was gone. They supported each other loyally but it wasn’t what I’d call warm or emotionally fulfilling for them. My Mom took her own parents’ divorce very badly at age 18 and married that same year!

  17. Hi! I’m new here. The reason why I’m
    Here is because i recently dated a Scorpio Guy November 17th. I’m a cancer woman
    July 11. I dated this guy and we quickly hit it off. He was smart, funny, sweet, smooth talker. I was a Virgin and I told him. We ended up having sex he molde me into what he enjoyed. He loved kissing me, having sex with me, my energy and kindness. However we broke up a few times because of family, he needed a lot of attention, I was being drained. However he did talk to me, he confide in me. But after the last breakup he began acting cold. I went to his house once he didn’t know and I saw him
    With a girl I believe she’s an ex even
    Tho he says their just friends. I’m pregnant he knows about it. He wanted me back an I said no twice until I agreed. Then o realize he was still talking to her. So I broke it off. I sent him a big text message. Letting him know I was sprung, how I can’t be with him
    How I’m in love with Someone else, even tho I’m not. I told him I don’t hate him
    Because when you hate someone you put a lot of attention to those emotions and you give it life and that’s not what I’m about. I did tell him we can keep
    Contact so he can be part of the babies life. He said goodbye, bye for good I love you but bye. When he said those words I felt nothing. Everything was a joke to
    Him.
    How can someone claim
    To love you and their actions are different. His going back to
    The girl
    He obsesses about and cheated on him.
    Why can’t
    People see when something good is staring at you right in your face.
    The worse part is.. we live 5 minutes from each other and I saw him
    With that girl and that dog at his house. I think he convinced his mom
    To let
    That girl
    Move in to
    Her house. So sad. His very manipulative
    Even then I won’t allow myself to
    Hate.. whatever Feelings I had for
    Him are fading. I bought a house 7 hours away from where I currently live. I’m going to be a single mommy, but at least a happy one. I realized he only wanted me
    For my Light, my energy, I’m
    Extremely happy, hardworking, goal oriented sex obviously.
    I made him feel better about himself
    I motivated him, the sad part is .. he just wanted to show his ex he was doing better because of me. (Not himself).. I feel my energy is back and I can be happy with my little bundle
    Of joy! 🙂

      1. I remember he mentioned his first ex ans Claimed she cheated on him broke up. that was his high school sweetheart.
        When I asked him, who this girl was
        He said an old high school friend, they also worked together and I guess she was looking for him for emotional support that night. But I believe whoever she is .. he build up feelings for her. Strong feelings. She’s in a relationship with someone and she knew that he was too. when I saw them in the bedroom
        Sitting next to each other very intimately.
        She didn’t bother to speak up, neither did he. Instead of contacting me on Monday our anniversary he went to her.
        He didn’t bother taking to me till Wednesday that’s because he wanted sex. I went away for a week and he contacted me after I blocked him for a whole week. He said he wouldn’t bring another girl over to the house. But she was there Sunday night, Monday night
        And I have no idea what other night.
        He seem like he really wanted to be with me until she showed up.

      2. Is there anyway you can tell me what his thinking? How can someone say they love you, act nice, feel cold. Have some other women at his house. He parks his car on the side so I won’t see them. Why is he so worried if I see them.. if we’re not together, I’s like he doesn’t want to hurt me or wants me to see he has there but why care if he left me.. instead of trying to show me he loves me. He said
        Bye to me. We live down the street
        From each other. He says he doesn’t shit where he eats.. right:

        1. he might be staying for the resources (as per what the topic suggests) because resources for him in this case, although i dont know what’s going on. He doesn’t love deeply but love the resources more if you get my meaning. which in that case, it would be awesome if you cut your losses. Your type of resource isn’t what he wants, and will stay in a bad relationship to keep the resource. at least that’s what the topic suggests. they need that to survive even if the relationshp is horrible.

  18. They might for a while but rest assured they are plotting their way out. It could take years, decades even, but they will leave. Theyre also super liable to cheat if they don’t love who they’re with. In my experience

    1. He kept saying he didn’t cheat, I belive he didn’t that night. But he lied. You can’t trust someone after they lied. He kept making her a priority. He got a ring and was going to propose to me. Instead He said (Bye) for good. I even tried to keep peace so when the baby arrives I can send him pictures
      We even agreed on the baby name together. But he simply said Bye. Took this other women to his house.. that quickly.
      We live down the street to each other
      We bumped into each other and he is
      Parading her around. I have to be the bigger person.

      1. @gigi trust your instincts. he doesn’t sound like he cares about you, sorry to say but he sounds terrible. this isn’t a scorpio trait. just a man who is indecisive. you and your baby deserve better. maybe he thought you were trying to have a baby with him so you can keep him around. that doesn’t work with some men, but if he’s responsible, he’ll help out but have the woman he really wants with him while keeping you at a distance and paying child support.

        1. No, I wasn’t trying to have a baby to keep him. I found out a week later after he cheated that I was pregnant. I was tired and there was no more trust, he kept contacting me and I said I wanted to be alone and have a happy pregnancy. He would never help with child support because his broke himself, lives .. for a 34 y/o who plays the poor sensitive card with women and manipulates
          his mom, asks his mom to transfer money to his account. Blames everyone for living how he lives.
          yea no he would never help out. I was the one with the resources and financial stability.
          He would always seem upset that I was doing good for myself.

          1. 🙁 sorry to hear that. well it sounds like he would have been better with you if he didnt feel so bad about himself and you seem like the type that would help him out. good luck with your pregnancy, this is a blessing in disguise.

    2. I don’t know a Scorpio very well.. except for my stepdad and he always goes back to my mom, no matter how tough he tries to be he always goes to my mom. His so affectionate, nice, loving, jealous towards my mom. To the point mom gets annoyed but they get along so well. I’ve never knew anyone like the Scorpio I dated his like 35 and playing childish games.

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