How Can I Break My Habit Of Gossiping?

People gossip around here, more so than I’m used too. I’m talking about my real life, not the Internet. It’s not everyone, but it’s a lot people.

Those who don’t gossip fall into the “mind your own business”, camp. It’s generally a bad scene when these two groups mingle.

I’ve always had a lot of secrets. I don’t think it’s possible for a person to have a packed eighth house like I do and not have a vault of some kind, stashed somewhere. But I also have a need for interaction. I like to discuss things!

I do not like people to discuss what I discuss, though I realize it happens. I learned a long time ago to recognize a sieve. I use people like this to disseminate information.

I do not mean I “use” in a negative manner. Some people are Mercurial, designed to transfer information. It’s like mailing a letter. You don’t put something in your mailbox unless you want it to travel.

What I don’t like is people who work to extract information from you, to be used as social currency.
I also don’t like people who indicate they will keep a confidence but won’t… or can’t because they just don’t have the self-restraint.

I know a couple people at this time… they definitely gossip. I’ve been working on them for two years. I’m trying to get them to stop. I would not be doing this if they were not trying to stop. This is a couple. They always want my view on things and I told them point-blank, “I can’t tell you that because you have big mouths. You spread things around and it causes harm…”

They were shocked when I said this, but hey! If you ask me enough times, WHY, I may answer your question and if I do, that’s it. You have the information you wanted and now what?

The couple weighed what I said. They decided they wanted me to be able to be honest with them. They’ve tried to earn my trust and they’ve been successful to an extent. They’ve been successful enough, I am ready to share something with them that I’ve kept to myself for a year.

If you’re a gossip and you want to stop, somehow you have to come to understand that talking to someone is not about being “in the know”. The idea is to have an honest exchange with another human being that has some kind of integrity.

I notice some people who want to talk behind your back, try to frame it as if it’s some kind of good deed. If everyone “understands” my personal business, they they can all work together to do what? Manipulate me? If you really care about someone, you’ll learn to keep your mouth shut.

I think this is interesting because these people are trying to leave one group for the other. They’re really trying and I can see how hard it is for them. In this case, gossiping is a habit. The norm is, “I’ll find out and then tell you…”

They just don’t think about the devastating effect on the person who’s pieces are passed around as social currency.

Do you gossip or enjoy hearing gossip? What’s the astrology?


How Can I Break My Habit Of Gossiping? — 21 Comments

  1. I don’t gossip because I don’t know anyone to gossip with! And knowing so few people, nothing to gossip about.
    When someone talks about another person, I right away think they might do the same about me, but there’s nothing very interesting to say.
    I don’t mind listening to people’s comments etc. but wouldn’t go out of my way to find out “info” on others.
    Seems pretty much like a waste of time, anyway.

  2. I’m in the same situation, Elsa! It is one of the reasons I have withdrawn from much social activity. It’s like this whole other layer that comes in when you are with people. You say something and in the same moment you can almost hear someone twisting your words to another meaning as they tell someone else. I’m sure this used to happen, but until you live in a small town you don’t recognize it.

    And if you are with people who talk about others you just know they talk about you when you aren’t there! If you don’t talk about people, you’re too high and mighty. Takes some getting used to.

    Like Madge said under the dryer at the salon full of women, “he told me not to say anything, so don’t tell too many people”. Ha!

  3. After becoming a target of gossiping in a really monstrous and unbelievable way, I have stopped gossiping about others.
    (When I say unbelievable, I mean: to me it’s unbelievable what people will believe.)

  4. I do enjoy gossip as long as it’s not too mean or inaccurate. I also don’t care if anyone gossips about me. I have a very Mercurial chart.

  5. I dont mind hearing as long as its not malicious. I kind of like knowing whats going on, but dont get a rush from it. If its malicioius, ill have no part of it. In a coversation, id rather hear about the person im talking with. If it drifts off into what someone else is doing, then ill try to direct it back to them. Ive noticed that very insecure people will gossip and i kind of see them as pathetic.

    I don’t spread gossip. Any information you give me, goes into the vault. Mercury in Scorpio.

  6. Hate the stuff and big issue in my life right now. All this Cap in the tenth, it’s hurt me a lot. Not wanting to shut myself off from others nor be part of that I am working on feeling more alone inside as an individual. More reserve, watching, waiting and when I feel my inner world is shaky in social interaction I remember I am separate and will never feel one with most folks. A very Cap lesson. I feel stronger for it. Saturn on MC right now

  7. At my previous workplace, the “grapevine,” was the only way to find out what was going on…so, I knew who to go to for info. Like Libra Noir, I don’t like malicious gossip. What’s the point? I’ve learned that if you don’t want someone to know your secret – then keep it to yourself. I’m not sure if it is my Astrology, since I’m a newbie – but I have a few planets in 8H, including Mercury and my Sun (Taurus).

  8. No, because I don’t give a crap. I know one terrible gossip but I just use her when I want something out there. Lol. I don’t want people to tell me things, specifically because if something spreads around, I do not ever want to be a suspect. They forget they’ve told a few people and all they remember is you. No, no, no. I have Mercury in Scorp in the 3rd, trining Saturn and Jupiter. I know plenty about people naturally without hearing their business.

  9. I sure do. I’ve told people not to tell me things because of it.

    Mercury conjunct Sun. Venus in Libra. Jupiter on the ascendant.

  10. What about the TRUTH in these stories, this gossip, we tell. Doesn’t anyone care?
    We’ve all heard „a lie told a hundred times becomes the truth“, and yet we all do this to some extent without thinking about it much – until it hits us.

  11. I was raised by a gossiper. I acquired that habit but broke it pretty early on because I didn’t like myself that way.

    The original gossiper has not broken the habit. She also hasn’t grown much. I love her, but this trait is not something I love.

  12. Pisces rising with Jupiter and Neptune in the 8th. I’m usually the victim of an insane amount of gossip so I try to keep mine to zero and have no real secrets. Revenge would be sweet since I am often privy to the secrets of these nasty people who are sometimes in positions of power. (Pluto on the DESC), My Gem Sun and Sag Moon like to keep it on the light and moral side!

  13. Gemini sun (opposite 12th house neptune) and mercury (conj Saturn) here. I hate gossip. And lying. I don’t have many friends bc i don’t trust people to not gossip or lie to or about me. I’m not good with keeping my own secrets and my face speaks even when my mouth is shut. I cope with that by not being social (depressing!) Unfortunately even though i’ve weeded out the offenders i voluntarily interacted with there’s a group of people i can’t avoid as much as i’d like to and they are the most judgmental gossipers i’ve ever met. I tried to draw the line with a couple of them when they’d bring it into my home. Now i “think i’m better than them.” Whatever… Stay away then.

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