How To Break Pattern Of Unrequited, Destructive Relationships

beata_beatrixDear Elsa,

I have Venus square Neptune. My experience with Venus square Neptune: Unrequited love. I’d rather fantasize about having a wonderful relationship instead of putting forth the effort to obtaining one. The foot work is way too difficult.

Plain and simple. How do I stop this destructive love pattern.

Dream Lover

Dream Lover, you can equate this problem to alcoholism. “I’d like to quit drinking but it’s not worth the effort. It’s just way too hard.” As long as you feel this way you are going to continue on track.

In the future (just like the alcoholic) you may decide to solve your problem as the negative consequences stack up. You may also decide to stay on course which is actually most likely for the same reason most alcoholics keep drinking. It’s because to do otherwise is too daunting.

If you do decide to address this (sober up) you will have to come to terms with the mundane. The man farts for example. But I can tell you from personal experience (I also have Venus square Neptune) that is entirely possible to create bliss in a real relationship with the same energy that is now doing you in and it’s not that hard.

You and I (and other Venus Neptune types) have the ability to romanticize anything. We can dream up a homeless drug addict, a man on death row or a turd in the street if we really wanted to.

This is a talent, there can be no denying so what you do is get yourself a real man, one who loves and deserves you and from there on out you dream him up exclusively and that is that. Problem solved!

Good luck!

Check out my master class – Finding Love With Astrology. It will help!

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How To Break Pattern Of Unrequited, Destructive Relationships — 11 Comments

  1. Hi DreamLover….this is one of my “problems” too and I have had to learn it the hard way…..thinking my husband was not what I had dreamed a husband should be (a true companion, share all responsiblities, a partner in child-rearing) notice my trend here, I have Moon in Libra. Well, to make a long story short, I left my husband to go and find my real dreamlover and it turned out like the story of “The Alchemist”, everything I ever wanted was right here at home.

    I am so grateful I had a second chance and we are back together again. He is still a workaholic and travels alot for work, so we dont have alot of time together, but we have both learned so much from our period of separation. I have alot of good friends in which I find that day -to- day companionship my moon so craves and my own work that I enjoy.

    Best of luck to you! Elsa has given you some great advice!

  2. It’s a difficult aspect, but only when allowed to run rampant and unchecked. Try not to let that one aspect to Venus spoil all possiblity of a good relationship. (And that goes for Pluto-Venus, Saturn-Venus, etc…)

    I have Venus sq Neptune – and I too once found myself pining away for a distant dream lover and, worse, living in a state of disillusionment with one I was with.

    Things change. And as one learns to work with their chart we are able to exercise our free will.
    People with hard aspects to Venus are not fated forever in unrequited love.

    You can chose to direct your energy toward a positive outcome.

    Consider the ruler of your seventh house cusp, and work with that planet’s energy. How is that planet aspected, what house is it located in?

    In a relationship one must be able to get their innermost needs met, so look to the ruler of your Moon – and where is your Moon and it’s ruler located?

    With a better understanding of Neptune, Venus, and the rest of your chart you will find a way to catch yourself from falling into the negative energy; using your whole chart will help you to work toward a more positive approach to relationships.

  3. As a Pisces/7th Sun, I’ve had my share of unrequited love- that’s for sure. I don’t have Venus square Neptune, but they are sextile. Still , my problem in relationships seems to be not knowing when to give up and throw in the towel, like beating a dead horse! Maybe that is my Mars. opp. Neptune? I certainly know how to work on relationships and give them the attention that they need, having spent 4 years in marriage counseling with my husband and getting back together to work on things after 2 separations.

  4. For me, biggest problem comes from my tightest square is Moon in Scorpio/2nd square Venus/5th. It’s like having my security/safety needs at war with my sex/romance needs. I’ve yet to find a relationship that combines the two, and this causes all kinds of problems, one can imagine. I witnessed my mother, very unhappy in her marriage with my father, sacrifice her sex/romance/love needs for security and safety- it was horrific to watch. Not that my Mom and Dad don’t love one another- they do, VERY much, because they are still together to this day- neither one of them are getting their other needs met in the relationship. Moon over Venus, again. My sister and I used to wish they would get a divorce, because it was so painful and traumatic on everyone to witness. Very sad, for all of us…

  5. For me, biggest problem comes from my tightest square is Moon in Scorpio/2nd square Venus/5th. It’s like having my security/safety needs at war with my $@x/romance needs. I’ve yet to find a relationship that combines the two, and this causes all kinds of problems, one can imagine. I witnessed my mother, very unhappy in her marriage with my father, sacrifice her romance/love needs for security and safety- it was horrific to watch. Not that my Mom and Dad don’t love one another- they do, VERY much, because they are still together to this day- neither one of them are getting their other needs met in the relationship. Moon over Venus, again. My sister and I used to wish they would get a divorce, because it was so painful and traumatic on everyone to witness. Very sad, for all of us…

  6. My biggest advice, the thing I’ve learned from my marriage and my parents’ marriage- learn to love yourself, first. Looking outside ourselves to satisfy the self-love requirement will never, never work in the long run. That’s where I’m at right now, since loving others used to be my #1 priority. And trying to figure out what my needs are (like Elsa says), versus focusing on what everyone else wants. Good luck, and Blessings!

  7. For the allegory that pertains to the water of life that Mua’dib did drink said unto the travelers of time there were merchants off unto the Star of Elaxtrina and brought forth first contact with the spirits of the age of Aquanon belonging to the 7th dimension outside of our own that our own galaxy’s heart so desperately hinges upon.

    This is the reason for my pattern of unrequited love affairs. Nobody can survive the persistent cacophony in my mind and most of my energy is consumed by it. As I get older, the space occupied by this expands like the universe is expanding. As it grows, it becomes more complex and all-consuming and altogether irresistibly interesting. Sometimes I think I should burn in hell for I am clearly an abomination and picking-up speed on a slippery down slope to a black void. So many windows of opportunity passed-by through the years, opportunities that shall never again return. The Earth trembles for I, the abomination, still exist and God has chosen not to unmake me.

    If someone you care about tends to alienate himself, beat it out of him, never let him follow-thru with it. It’s an eternal death sentence otherwise. But as for me, I am already lost to the black void.

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