My Boyfriend Cheated With My Friend

heartHi Elsa,

I was with the same guy for 5 years, until he left me one night to be with my good friend.

Every time we try to work things out, he starts to get cold feet and runs away again – sometimes to be with my now ex-friend! I’m deeply hurt by the situation but feel lost without him.

Do you think I can move on with my life or at least forgive him for what’s happened?

Very Lost Indeed

Dear Lost,

No, you’re not going to be able to forgive him. How can you forgive him, when he’s still doing the thing that upset you – over and over and over and over? I know five years is a lot invested, but you don’t want to hang on to a man who’s screwing your friend.

Of course you can move on with your life! You aren’t going to be able to live until you do. There’s nothing to do but to cut your losses. If a man has “cold feet” after five years, you’ve already lost him. If he takes up with your friend, this is true 100-fold. I’m so sorry.

Cut your losses. Cry your tears. Try again.

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My Boyfriend Cheated With My Friend — 7 Comments

  1. Hi Lost,
    I just have to tell you (RUN)
    Run to the highest mountain and don’t look back, because at the top of that mountain, there is a guy who will treat you right, who couldn’t dream of anyone else. When you get to the top of that mountain, eventually, you will venture off into your life of happiness, and that mountain will turn into a volcano of karma, and burn that horrible boyfriend with a big bucket of hot karma! LOL

    I’m serious.
    I was with someone who lived in my area, was 19 years, and didn’t wear a wedding ring. This man lived in a house by me, and went to “see his parents” on weekends.” I never thought anything of it, I wouldn’t dream that he was married, and him and his wife worked two hours apart, so both lived in separate houses. They were both teachers.

    I ended up, busting my butt, to have a nice apartment, never asked him for a dime, he would stay with me, or we would stay at his place, and then he would go home. Well I was starting to get ticked off because weekends (which was my time off) he was never available. When I started getting pissed- thats when I guess he told his wife he was leaving. Still – I had no idea of her. All of a sudden he was just AROUND – I was fine- and happy go lucky thinking my argumentive side worked. (This was 2012 by the way)
    Then all of a sudden, I come home, he has his shit packed up, and he tells me he was married (explains everything) tells me he has way to must guilt for his wife, and realizes he loves her and has to go home. Cuts me off cold turkey.
    Now this guy, had met my family, and we were in a relationship for 2 years. A serious relationship. In fact, when he was home on weekends, he called me so much, I still don’t know how he managed to hide it from his wife. He really mad him self look single.
    WELL, that June 2012, he vanished. A guy who talked to me 24/7, who I saw everyday, for 2 years. Gone, no phone call, no email, POOF! Like Houdini !
    So it was hard, but I told myself, that guys a jack a**- WHATEVER!
    BUT! HE COMES BACK!! When Saturn moved into Scorpio, right on the dot! Literally, that day. He tells me he made a mistake, and he left his wife, and he was sorry. I was stupid, and gave him a chance, to then find out, IN MAY April 2013, around the time of the eclipses, that he wasn’t divorced, and that his wife was actually working overseas. I found out, because he yet again told me it was over and called me delusional. (YEA I know)
    So- I knew he figured I would walk away and let it go, and his wife would never know. I didn’t let that happen. I wrote his wife a lovely email, APOLOGIZED for us both being played, and told her I would stay out of his life for good, and if I received one email from him it would be forwarded directly to her.She actually thanked me and sent me very warm regards. She is a wonderful woman.

    Well- how has karma served him?
    His wife has been having an affair all year.
    They are going through a divorce,
    he tried to contact me, and I told him to stick it where the sun dont shine.

    My point with this story is

    – some men- ARE INSANE.
    its not you ITS THEM.
    so the safest thing to do,
    is if you see a guy is flaky,
    if he gives you ANY sign not to trust him,
    take that as a message from God, and run,
    because the thing is, is that if he deceives you once,
    he will prob deceive you again, and if he deceived someone else, he will most likely deceive you too.
    Love sometimes, makes us make excuses for people.
    By making excuses for people, we are making an
    excuses for ourselves, we are telling ourselves that
    we don’t deserve the best.

    BE strong! You have better things awaiting you.
    God gives people to you as a lesson, or a blessing.
    You have had your lesson, now go find your blessing! This guy is not your blessing! Blessings, don’t hurt!
    Best wishes !

  2. michellemarie i salute you, “and if he deceived someone else, he will most likely deceive you too.” i ignored this and ended up into mess only she did it to me.

  3. Ahhh the pain….but you (we) get through it. First a minute, then a day at a time.
    Let go of that man, and your ‘friend’. If no one’s told you yet, let me.

    You deserve better than that.
    You are more than that.
    Pick yourself up and walk away from these people.

    Love yourself sister…it took me a lifetime to learn this


  4. Was wonderin if feelin cheated was gonna come up with this mars libra energy.

    In this situation I would probably feel more cheated by the so called friend. What up with that. I had one come back one time and apologize. I told her, you think you are special? If it wasn’t you it woulda been someone else. I don’t know if I’m right or not, but I always tell the married man or the relationship man, if you want to break your promise, you are gonna have to find someone else to do that with. I don’t play that game.

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