I just wrote to a client about body language as far as attraction goes. I really think you should mind yours if you are trying (and failing) to attract because it’s very powerful. This is from 2007.
From my coffee date. He’s a Libra (polite) with a Pisces Moon (intuitive). His mother is a shrink. That’s his word, not mine.
“Yeah, I’ve been watching you for awhile,” he said. “One day I was standing with this other guy and you were walking… you were headed for the locker room and you were walking all straight with your head up.” He straightened out his posture. “But then you saw us and as soon as you did, your body language changed. You closed in like this,” he said, rounding his shoulder to his center.
“And I thought, I don’t know. Either she’s really shy or… I just don’t know. What’s that about? I wondered because you’re usually so confident.”
“And you stayed like that a couple seconds and then you straightened back up and you said hi to us,” he said, waving. “You said hi in your usual friendly way.”
“And I had no idea what to make of it. See, I notice things like that and besides it was pronounced. You couldn’t miss it and I thought, hmm. I wonder what that was.”
“Well I know what it was and I’ll tell you if you want,” I said.
“I love the gym, that’s why I’m walking tall like that. I feel great when I am there. But as I told you, I am trying to dodge men. I am trying to dodge them in general but I am especially trying to dodge you,” I said.
“Because I’m trouble?” he asked. He was smiling, I’d told him he was trouble, earlier on the date.
“Yeah, exactly. You’re a problem. You’re a particularly special problem for me so I’m not surprised my body would react like that when I am about to collide with you. Here I am done with my workout. I’m feeling good and about to get out of there free and clear and next thing you know, there you are and I am walkin’ straight into the fire!”
“Yikes!” I said, smiling. “So anyway, that’s what was going on that day. I told you I am trying not to meet any men, especially men who are attractive. Because right now, I have no idea what to do with them or do about them so basically… I guess you could say I’m terrified.” I hesitated. “And ambivalent,” I said with a smirky grin. So you can see it’s a true mess and I don’t know what else to say about it beyond what I already have. Except I am glad to be here. I am very glad, so thanks.”
How much mind do you pay other people’s body language?