Black Moon Lilith in the Eleventh House – Outcast

elsie fergusonIf you have Lilith in the 11th house of your chart, her themes will manifest in terms of friendship, groups, and aspirations. You embody Lilith’s character among peers and carry her energy into your dreams for the future.

In traditional astrology, the 11th house is known as the house of Good Spirit, where our wishes come true. But with Lilith present, it can feel like just the opposite. Those favors in high places ae denied, and there is no one to help carry your burden. It seems like every time you swell with hope, you are struck down, just as poor Lilith was filled with happy expectation in uniting with her lover and was struck down for having the audacity to hope to be treated as an equal.

In fact, you are also often scapegoated in this way, particularly in groups. You are silently designated to be the one to carry the shadow for the collective, and you are scorned when you try to assert your right to be treated with dignity and respect. You end up blamed for your own suffering, as if the anger of the group is something you are just supposed to accept. You may at some point decide to give up on groups altogether.

But regardless of how you feel about groups, everyone needs friendship. There’s a reason the house of Good Spirit is also the house of friendship. Friends help make life rich. Not that it is necessarily easy for you. In your youth, you were likely teased, scapegoated, and betrayed by those you thought you could trust. While this may also happen from time to time in adulthood, there are ways around it. Many people with Lilith in the 11th find others with the same or similar placements to create a group of friends who understand what it’s like to be an outcast. When you find them, it will feel like fate. In your gang of miscreants, you finally find the acceptance you needed for so long, and can shake off the fear and pain.

There is so much more to say about this placement, but I’ll end it here. Above all, remember this: you may have to fight to find your people. It may not be easy. But they’re out there searching for you too. And when you find each other, you will finally have the joy the 11th house promises. You will shoulder each other’s burdens and support each other’s dreams. And when you think of the people who made you feel so rejected, like no one would ever accept you, you’ll laugh and laugh. Shows what they know, right?

Do you have Lilith in the 11th house? Tell us what it’s like! 

I specialize in helping people understand and work through Lilith issues. Want to know what Lilith means for you? Click the link to consult.



Black Moon Lilith in the Eleventh House – Outcast — 11 Comments

  1. I have black moon Lilith conjunct Chiron in the 11th house in Aquarius. How would you interpret this, I’m curious.
    Your comments regarding being scapegoated by “friends” is very true for me. So is being rejected for having insights they don’t want to have. Or people turning against me for something they assume I said or thought or must have thought! People!!! Of course it is all compounded by my full 8th house in scorpio with the sun, mercury, north node, and Neptune there. My Saturn is in Sagittarius at the end of the 8th house and I have a Mars in Pisces
    In the 12 th house very close to my Pisces ascendant. I’m wondering how the current transits which are happening in my 11th house will affect me. More isolation, lol?

  2. I have BML in 11thH, Pisces, with a strong theme of betrayal with friends and perhaps family too. I’ve always been aware of “this thing” long before I came to understand it thru Astrology. /Aqua Sun, Taurus Asc.I’ve accepted it, understand it, it’s made me feel cautious with especially women, friendship is really tricky.

    • Mine’s in 3rd but aquarius. The betrayal thing, I expect it.

      There is always someone more appealing to be with and easy to push me side or run me down. But their sorry assess always land back on my door stoop when they need something or are down and out. And in my head I silently say to myself about their tales of woe, their own experience with betrayal, you don’t know who your friends are.

  3. Wow! Yeah. Blamed for your own suffering. In groups this was the dynamic for a long time. I hope I can find a group eventually that works. My Leo moon dreams of dinner parties. 11th house Lilith in Aries.

  4. Yes Lilith in11th, my people?well have 6 sisters ;just started friendship with Man close to my age, incredible
    Artist, studied design in Europe
    He is Cuban and starting to tell me his life, listening, amazing ;could he
    Be one of my people? Time will tell
    My stories mostly get squashed quickly, told ,best left in past
    Not anyone to date can hear my past
    Starting to think, past is just as important as dead meat, vegan anyone?
    But if our past the hands that formed
    Today how do I fly into my future
    Without the lessons from my past ?
    I am just one that needs secrets
    And how much of me is truth if not
    Described? Not needed ,take me at
    Face value, as today the only real day that matters
    I have an edge, yes I probably one
    Most likely to be hated as my thoughts are not of the majority , yes
    I probably have the stance of the gunman in desert waiting for call
    Of Comanche
    Do I distrust ?yes ,once I am lied to
    Used or not treated as valuable
    Not sure if I answered the question
    Am I looking for my kind, I am listening for the sound the call the sign

  5. BML in 11th House Aries (intercepted,) also square my Uranus and Neptune. I have definitely felt like an outcast in a lot of the groups I’ve been a part of – groups at school, around coworkers, in crowds, etc. I feel a lot of pain and hurt when I get singled out, often in the form of criticism (I rarely feel like I hear the words “that’s a good idea” or “you’re right”). Only in the last few years have I found my misfit groups to fit in with, and learning to prioritize the people who don’t shun or reject me for my individuality – my comfort levels when I’m at school versus work is enormous.

    Unrelated, but I read somewhere that BML in the 11th is also good at destroying friendships, sometimes turning them into friend-with-benefit situations because of the sexual aspect. I like that take. I definitely have a propensity to flirt with my male friends until we turn it into something else, even if it doesn’t last.

  6. Thank You for this article, it has put words to a life-long struggle and deep wounds.
    Not glad that other people went through similar stuff, but glad to find out other L@11th people. Bless your hearts!

    • Me too Amber! I patiently waited through 11 houses(helpful in understanding other people) but Im really looking forward to the 12th house where my Virgo Lilith resides. Should be quite a read!
      Hope to see it soon Midara! Thanks for the series

  7. 11th house BML is everything you say starting with family rejection and eventually friendships that are never true. Finding like-minded people has been difficult and turned me into an Omega (loner). Some things just have to be accepted. With Leo Uranus, Pluto 10th house North Node, there are reasons for everything. I’ve struggled with Aquarius 4th house issues most of my life but have finally risen to the north node of my chart ready to commune with people of similar values and with it will come the resolution of 11th house BML.

  8. I have this in Aries conjunct my venus/mars/part of fortune. I am a complete social pariah and get the brunt of everything and always have. ANY assertion of my self towards or into the public is met with very aggressive reception, always. I am a very passive person and I feel like this has something to do with it.

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