Woman Does Not Want Children – Her Friends Baby Talk – Ugh!

pregnantDear Elsa,

I’ve known from a very early age that I don’t want to have children. I had a horrible childhood that I’m afraid I’ll re-inflict on my progeny. And besides that, I have medical problems that make pregnancy highly improbable.

The problem is that recently, I’ve been surrounded by women that are either pregnant or trying. I just can’t dredge up any enthusiasm for them! I know that some women get satisfaction from both pregnancy and motherhood, but the entire drive is foreign to me. I can’t empathize at all.

To make matters worse, a close friend of mine has the same medical problems as me… and she’s currently undergoing fertility treatments. It’s all she wants to talk about! I know it’s a large part of her life right now, but quite frankly I think all the technical talk is boring. I feel guilty that I can’t give her the support she needs. It’s put a large strain on our friendship.

In short, HELP!

The Un-Mom

Dear Un-Mom,

Well, you can’t give it you don’t have it, can you? You can’t be interested, when you’re not interested – and it’s not your fault that you’re not interested!!

I’m very sorry I don’t know a trick, but I don’t know a trick. Most of these friendships are probably going to go south anyway. Because believe me: if you think your friends are obsessed with the pregnancy, wait’ll the babies pop out!

Look. All you can do is be yourself. You are the Un-Mom and hopefully there’s a friend in the pile who wants one of those in her life (even after she has her baby). Not everyone wants a clone of themselves for a friend. I know I don’t.

But you get my point. Don’t fake it. And don’t beat yourself up about it either, because you’re innocent here. And if you’re left with a friend-void, you can be sure the universe will fill it.


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