satori and I had a conversation today about people who have a compulsive need for attention. I have been accused of this because of my blogging. I believe this is a projection.
In whatever case we wound up discussing the recent conflict on this blog when you-know-who was sliced, diced and tossed by me. But here’s what you don’t know….
That person posts under multiple ids on this blog and he (she) has for years. I say “she” because some of the characters are women. I caught on to this a long time ago but said nothing. If you think it’s wrong of me to say something now… well let’s get our heads on straight.
My name is on this blog (twice). My last name is on here as is my image many times over. The other person is an “online entity” with no real name but five separate screen names used in the last month alone. You see, he had a compulsive need for attention and variety of ways to get it. So who’s reputation should be protected, hmm? People judged me for that and while I didn’t care at the time I think now more of this story should be told.
Two new ids were introduced in the last week (before he got booted) alone. He introduces new screen names and grooms the community like a pedophile grooms the intended victim. He/She/They believe they groom me but have been transparent for a very long time.
So this is a good example of an attention seeking personality. Can’t get enough attention with one persona so they create an array of them. Can you imagine going to a party and being seen more than once? Ha ha ha ha. Leo run amok.
So anyway, all the characters have been nuked and as they pop up again they will be nuked again and again and again and again until ultimately they catch on and take their show elsewhere because fact is, I am not as stupid as I seem.
Now back on topic tell us what you know about attention-seeking personalities because satori wants to know.
The most attention-seeking person I’ve known was a complete narcissist. Of course, as a former close friend of hers I was the reciever of many mean, cold, hurtful situations and words. I decided to cut my ties finally. People on the outside wouldn’t even believe me if I told them about her because boy does she work the CHARM.
I like to make people laugh, and don’t mind being in the spotlight to do that….but I’m deathly afraid of being percieved as attention-seeking. There goes that Leo/Capricorn again!
there’s a tendency towards compulsive lying, to “make things more interesting” and an assumption that everyone does it… i swear they wouldn’t recognize truth if it slapped them in the face.
but my personal experience with them is strongly coated in gemini.
i imagine there’s other ways of doing it. but narcissists tend to think most people are out for themselves, and people who aren’t are just gullible chumps.
i say… if you have something that’s deserves attention, present it. but don’t try it unless you’ve really got it (leo saturn here…)
Attention seekers stand in the middle of doorways or between you and where you want to go. They are lost when alone, even if for a minute. They give very little information about themselves but provoke. Nice people fall pretty deep at first, and explain and explain, whether its palm reading or investing. The attention seeker has a woe is me thing, like my palm is the worst: everybody elses palm is better, everybody look at my palm and then why are you looking at my palm. The nice person spends a lot of energy to keep the topic on track. It can be a horrible waste of time.
Satori wants to know, so here’s what I think. Attention seekers are a kind of vampirs, because attention is energy and it feeds the vampire.
To get the attention they crave for, they might use different identities, or masks, or emails, but be sure that at some point they will always show their true nature, because that’s the one it’s all about. Now it’s big and well-fed and happy, so let’s show it. They cannot show it before because it actually doesn’t exist.
If you unmask them they will disappear – fufff! and go for attention somewhere else. They don’t have any feelings nor responsibility or shame. For attention seekers the world is just a big audience – a feeding ground.
Now you can say that we all seek some kind of attention or appreciation for what we are and what we do – and I think that’s the difference – for what WE ARE and what WE DO, not for what others are and do.
I don’t know, some people just like to shine, and if they entertain me, what the hell, it does not bother me. I guess we are talking about attention seekers who always have to create some kind of drama, and I also have known people like that. I really do not have anyone in my life like that, because I just don’t have the time or patience. It’s funny, I am Sun/Venus/Uranus Leo, but I can assure you, I sure as hell have never been the one dancing on the table at a party, that’s for sure. But I have always been attracted to people who are sort of in the limelight (musicians, mostly), and when I was younger, anyone that looked like a rock star, or had purple hair, a mohawk, etc., I just was drawn to them. Had lots and lots of gay male friends too, mostly the flamboyant ones, never a dull moment with them, that’s for sure. I guess we all know the difference between an entertainer and a pompous ass, lol.
I think this online multiple personality thing you see from certain people is not so much mere attention seeking. It is sociopathic behaviour. They have a need to foist themselves on others compulsively and normal human boundaries do not exist with them. They are totally different and more insidious than run-of-the-mill drama queens.
Actors and actresses! I know so many and boy do they love applause and admiration. They often base their self worth on it, and I don’t blame them sometimes, because the audience is a big part of what brings them to acting in the first place. Who would act when alone?
The attention seekers I’ve met are people who know how to push other people’s buttons, looking for a negative reaction. Or they do incredibly stupid or mean things that are still going to get them the attention they want, no matter that it’s negative.
I’m a Sun/Mars Leo with Aries rising. I like attention, but I don’t go looking for it. I seem to naturally attract it. This isn’t such a good thing when I feel like disappearing, but I’ve learned to have fun with it.
casseia – take that back, apparently there is a delay. I think they set it up to hold the comments in a cache and post in batches to keep the site fast..
Weird. Anyway, I was remarking on the synchronicity of clicking over here after reading another site and seeing that my own personal cyberstalker was targeting me again, after a little vacation. She’s an interesting case, because I knew her in real life before she started harassing me online and so I recognize the substantial disconnect between her real-life and online personas. In real life, she is one of the most fearful, reclusive people I have ever met. Online, she is a self-anointed warrior queen and downright vicious.
I know very little about her natal chart and wish I knew more, but I do recall that she was born in the latter part of the same year I was born — 1967 — and we both have a Scorpio Moon. I was playing with a chart based on my vague recollection that she has an early September birthday and thus maybe her Mars is in Scorpio as well.
She pretty much fits Lis’ description of attention-seekers to a T. The only way she KNOWS how to get attention is with amped-up pseudo-macho aggression and the only place she’s not too afraid to let that rip is online.
Here’s what I know: attention seekers are really, really fucking boring. Sorry…the world has many types of interesting personalities but you, oh needy one, are not one of them…
Personally it doesn’t annoy me, as I’m off perusing more interesting people’s insights. I think it’s my Cap Moon talking: if I see you as childish I’m turned off.
PS I do like drama queens, though. Must be my love of Leo talking…
i hope my comment is clear…i appreciate that people are curious. 🙂
what’s the difference between plain ole attention seeking folks and drama queens?? I don’t really know, but i think it may have something to do with a person being aware that they’re engaging you somehow, through entertainment, rather than some force-fed psychological engagement??
i always feel like, with an attention seeker, that i’m being asked to fill a hole for them. they are in lack, so i should fill that gap with my energy…ugh. i’ve got no juice to keep people like that afloat.
I have to agree on the sociopathic/narcissistic input. Had a stalker once and every thing that he did was immediately traceable to himself. His behavior was so compulsive that he’d never think about how it might be perceived by others or otherwise transparent. I think that’s where we get situations like “Darwin Award” criminal behavior. They just think about their need to “do”.
well geez, i feel kind dumb, ’cause i didn’t catch the multiple id thing at ALL. i ferret out trolls on my online community, but don’t always spot ’em in the wild i guess. but then again, if a comment here doesn’t make sense to me, i just let it wash off most often. one of us may be crazy, i think, but who am i to say which? ha!
i have had too much contact with attention-seekers. having worked in detox for a couple of years, the place was crawling with ’em. it was ridiculous. i have literally told people there: “News flash: the world does NOT revolve around you. Sorry to dash your illusion.” plus, unfortunately, in my personal life i’ve had this, though you can bet your ass i don’t go looking for it. sometimes it still finds you.
in particular, people diagnosed with borderline personality disorder seem to fit this bill for me. lying, manipulation, drama, using, hurting, and then crying in the end nobody loves them. well, wtf? whaddya expect, einstien?!? you go out of your way to disrupt the lives of others, create emotional pain, and you think they’re going to develop some kind of a permanent warm fuzzy for you because they’ll feel like bad people if they aren’t “understanding” and accepting enough? bottomless pits, man.
lis0i’ve had cps called on me about a dozen times by my husband’s ex during one of multiple custody battles with her. she actually woke the kids up sleeping, put dirty clothes on them and MAKEUP so they’d look abused to take pix. that and about a kajillion other things leave her in this category for me. she also has been dx’d BPD.
if you do have to deal with one of these types, you might want to look up BPD,and if there is someone with bpd that you must have contact with, i also recommend the book “I hate you/Don’t leave me.” Very helpful info.
you’re better off IMO avoiding if possible. there will be no meaningful exchange and it brings you nothing but grief and aggrevation.
“Don’t feed her crazy.”
I’m going to use that as a mantra. 😛
Goddess – I have seen that BPD behavior that you mentioned above. It’s some scary stuff. But I had to laugh when you wrote “and they wonder why nobody loves them”. Could not be more true!
Hmm, about the BPD, I’ve never seen it myself, but I have spent most of my life with people with various mood disorders. While it’s important to be able to vent and feel validated, I also think it’s important not to blame people for their illness. Being hurtful and feeling unloved at the same time are symptoms of a disease, and are all part of the disorder. They are not reflections of the person’s personality, and so it’s a little unfair to expect emotional intelligence to be applied. If they could just act differently, then they wouldn’t call it a disorder, you know?
Wow! I know a few people with BPD and I have seen some of them absolutely wig out. One of them with hundreds of long and mentally disturbed e-mails. He is in the hospital now and I feel very sorry for him. You are right to block them. You have to. But if they are mentally ill then I feel sorry for them too.
I have changed my names a few times here too. First Randamandar, then spinner, then eye of the hurricane and back to randamandar. This is my first experience with blogging and frankly I was a little embarrassed with some of the comments I made as spinner. In the name of trying to be funny or witty some of my comments were too fast and loose.
I do prefer some anonymity, so I will stick with randamandar, think through my comments and hold back the urge to be humourous all the time. [unless of course satori eggs me on.]
I guess I could always use disclaimers like;
this is just for laughs,
this is sarcastic,
this is me being dull witted etc.
Could you please clarify this for me Deb? You say there were people criticizing your posts on this board, so you gave them your phone number or they already had your phone number, then they called you and texted you. So you had them arrested. Your above post says you throw up because saturn was in Virgo, and you are so proud your mercury in scorp enabled you to ruin their lives for a few seems to me to be prank calls and disagreeing posts. I dont agree with you; are you gonna use your merc scorp on me? Good Luck Darlin’
I like my merc scorps extra crispy, little tendezin’….lol…