MahEggo commented “… I always know when people don’t like me right off the bat…”
Lilly followed up: “ditto to MahEggo’s answer…I know right away when they DON’T like me…”
This is a hot topic in Elsa-world. I also know when people don’t like me and sometimes it’s straightforward like that. But frequently I meet people who don’t like me but don’t know it! I’m wondering if other have experienced this. I was chatting to a friend.completely frustrated…
“Well the guy hates me, this is the problem! And I have no idea why he doesn’t know it. I suppose I could tell him, save him staying up late at night trying to figure it out. I could say, look guy. You don’t like me! That’s what is going on. I bother you. This is why every compliment you give me is wrapped in an insult. This is why every insult is wrapped in a compliment. I would just as soon speed this up! How about we fast forward to the part where you go off hating my guts because you already do. I won’t mind because I’m sick to death of the tiresome bother of waiting for you to figure it out!”
I am tired of starring in people’s psychodramas.
I participated in psychodrama when I was in therapy, 30 years ago. I had to stand there and look menacing like someone’s father. I didn’t like it. I don’t want to play pretend. I want to be myself. I assure you I am not your oppressive father or your devouring mother or any other damned thing!
I’ve learned, when I find myself cast in someone’s psychodrama, often times I can hit the kill switch myself. I don’t have to allow a person to work out their issues on my time. And there’s no harm done, because as soon as you cut the energy to the hologram, the person wanders off and finds another person to project onto, usually within a day!
What a revelation.
Can anyone relate or am I on my own here?
I can really relate. Venus and Scorpio in the 8th and a Saturn/Neptune square.
I can sometimes tell when people don’t like me but they usually hide it so well, and for years sometimes while I consider them a good friend! They turn into enemies, and I’m never quite sure of their reasons.
I have gotten stuck in a lot of drama as well, it seems to follow me wherever I go, but sometimes I do have myself to blame for that, even if it’s unintentional. I’ve been told that I’m the kind of person that needs drama to not be bored, but I’m not too sure of that.
My only problem is that I’ve tried to cut these people off and they come back even harder than before!
“…I can sometimes tell when people don’t like me but they usually hide it so well…”
That’s not what I mean. I get people (in droves) who mean to like me. They intend to like me, attempt to like me. wish they liked me, however they don’t! I am just not the kind of person they can stand but it takes them eons to figure this out. Like years! I am talking years of someone trying to put up me and figure out / or stop the way they are agitated by me… never having it occur how this might be experienced on my end.
Neptune affecting us natally or by transit can sure make us either the projector or the screen. I have learned thru painful experience to disengage from that kind of weirdness. The fewer hooks we have sticking out the less likely we’ll get drawn into other’s dramas.
I can usually tell when people don’t like me but are making nice from some agenda of their own. Makes me want to puke . . . like they think they can hide that stuff from someone with Moon/Neptune and Mercury in Scorp!! 🙂
Hmmm, well I would maybe chalk that up to jealousy? When I meet someone I really admire, and they have so many attributes I like, it’s hard not to dislike them for it. You tell it like it is and are an honest person and maybe that makes others uncomfortable with themselves?
I haven’t encountered that, to my knowledge, but it can’t be easy! I guess the ones who stick around though are worth it?
I dunno. Could be that the man likes you but is extremely jealous? There was once a person I admired greatly – but I was not the nicest person to that individual. I was very young and socially inept and immature. I was jealous of that person becauses/he represented everything that I wanted to be.
Thank goodness I got over it. Realizing I was jealous made me a better person. Dang that Scorpio moon.
I just now saw Saggal’s comment!
Then there is the intense dislike that occurs because one sees something in another that shows a flaw in one’s self.
That man (he is gone, thank God) wanted to get on top… be able to control his mother. And there was no way he was going to be able to achieve this seeing as I am not her! But I stood in for her for more than a year, while he boxed his own shadow and it’s just as well because it was via this experience I learned, never again!
As soon at the projection goes up, I cut the lights, leaving the person to go iso of another vehicle and myself free to do whatever. To lie on the beach! Because I knew this was happening the whole time it was happening so why did I do that? In service? I am going to find other ways to serve!
Shadow Boxing, I have called it for years. The term must be in the ether. Great term for the one’s struggling with that stuff. Who said we have to like everyone anyway? Maybe the wisdom of Capricorn will highlight this delusion and help a resolution to this dilemma of needing to please everybody even if our elements aren’t working together.
Wow, do I ever know this!! I wasted over a year of my life with someone who insisted she liked me in the beginning, only to be the first person I would give the title as ‘my nemesis’!! It took that long for me to realize what you said. I pulled my energy from her, and while it took a little longer than a day (plus going through all our mutual friends), she finally found someone else outside of what used to be ‘our’ circle to project her insecurities on. Hard to play when no one wants to play with you! 😀
When I approach people I assume I’m going to like them. I was recently told that I judge people very quickly and it wasn’t said in a positive way, but I always knew when I was jealous of someone and I also always knew when I just didn’t like someone. Honestly, I haven’t met someone in a long time who hasn’t liked me, at least not anybody that I can dredge up in my memory right now, because if they didn’t like me then chances are I didn’t like them either and I took my energy off of them so quick that it must be automatic for me.
How do you hit the kill switch? I’m interested in that. Do you just kind of stop talking to them, or do you tell them? It seemed from the post that you don’t outright tell them, but I wasn’t sure…
This might be a good skill to have…
Personally, I don’t always know when someone doesn’t like me. I tend to assume that everyone doesn’t like me (Mercury conj. Saturn in 12th in Cancer square Pluto and Moon), when in fact some people do. But sometimes it is obvious – to me and most others (no special ability on my part) that someone is projecting on me (a very special kind of dislike). I tend to pull back hard when that happens, it just seems seedy and dangerous and I just don’t want to be a part of it. I’ve projected enough times to know just how dangerous it can be!
But, I would love to refine this ability – this killing the switch, because right now I’d say I bludgeon the switch with a hammer!
Also interestingly, sometimes people project POSITIVE things on me, and that makes me uncomfortable. That might be sun conj. ascendant that makes people do that. I guess I just don’t like expectations in general…
I have definitely had similar experiences, where the person tries to “be nice” (to like me, I suppose), but somewhere inside them, they are triggering all sorts of stuff just by being in my presence. It hasn’t happened often, but it gets ugly really quick when it does. I have enough Libra to “play nice” back, but it only lasts so long (all my Aries wants to just blast them to kingdom come!). I don’t handle other people’s negative vibes very well. PLUS, I don’t handle my own (emotional) reaction very well either (no water in my natal chart makes it hard to express my feelings). So, I generally just remove myself from the situation. I’ve always felt that people like this (knowingly, or not) are trying to put some sort of “power” over me. And I’m waaaaay too rebellious to have THAT! 😉 Let them put their energy towards someone else, man. I’ve got my own @#!% to deal with!! haha
I can’t say that I can relate to this, though it’s fascinating all the same. I am really “stupid” when it comes to being able to tell if someone is projecting. (Jupiter-Neptune conjunction in the 1st house?) My friends often make fun of my gullible-ness.
I know for myself what I like and what I hate about a person, but I can’t tell the other way around. I just assume that if someone really doesn’t like me, they wouldn’t be hanging around. There must be something they DO like about me that’s why they are here… Or if there was something they didn’t like, they would tell me.
Like Piya I approach people assuming that I’ll like them, however I’ve never been told I’m quick to judge. I wonder if this is because over time I’ve “gone undercover” and quickly disengage?
I was having problems with someone recently an told my BF “that person is an effen loser.” She said “wow, I never hear you stay stuff like that.”
I smiled sweetly and thought “no, because I usually say it in my head!” I can tell it like it is if I need to, I hope, but most of the time I just figure I don’t need to broadcast, as chances are we (meaning me and a person who I don’t get along with) are just 2 ships passing in the night and we can both enjoy our lives more if I carry on…hopefully they will do the same. If they don’t I just amputate.
i have pluto 8th and i read that placement alone gives off psychic energies or rather knows psychically “hidden” things. I always am forgiving and just let things go, and this might be neptune influence but then i can’t be what others want me to be, in their views/eyes. The only people i should be worried about are people who love me in my life. I’m not going to be trying to be status bearing or go out in the world and make it big so thats not an issue. if they have a problem maybe that’s just a reflection of their own agendas and likes/dislikes of how things should be, cause it’s a reflection of themselves. And not accepting of others.
Also have Pluto in the 8th house and people always have projected onto me. I’ve been accused of everything from deliberately taking my lunch at the wrong time at work (boss didn’t like me and was gaslighting me for her amusement and a power trip) to gaining weight on purpose to spite a parent who was enraged at not having a thinner child.
@scottish, sorry to hear that, i know you raved about your upbringing, but it just sounds like she was not happy with her life. sigh. many mothers and grandmothers and just overall, lots of women have not been happy in their lives. i always try to see what’s going on with them, and their own upbringing. sometimes, they get stuck in a cycle. to me, compassion & understanding is what they really need. but i know it’s really hard. blessings!!
I’m so “not of this earth” and into reading, and crop circles and all sorts of things that these issues never come up.
Sometimes people dislike me and I sort of tolerate them in my presence and then simply avoid them.
I’ve dealt with this for so long and I’m so sick of it. It’s not so much whether people like me or not, but they “react” and make sure they tell me about it! How rude is that, to go out of your way to say you don’t like someone’s energy (or how they look, talk, etc.). I regret all the times I was hurt or let it bother me. I’ve gotten much tougher now, and if I’m not readily warding it off I just walk away. I have Uranus close to the ascendant. Controlling people get a whiff and hate that. There was a book I read, can’t remember the author but I recall title was “What You Think about Me Is None of My Business.” I’m purging a lot of old bad memories lately and just want to eliminate these rude people and reactions. I would never go up to someone I hardly know or just met and tell them hey, I don’t like your energy! I do think this signals a controlling person/energy who must be shunned whenever possible.
I have at times tried to puzzle out why people resist me. I think I also may send out a signal to repel as self-protective due to getting “eaten” when I was young and too sensitive/vulnerable. Some butterflies taste really terrible and so the birds don’t eat them. So not being too likable or accessible can help you survive even if you’re not “liked.”
Once, a guy tried to play hot-and-cold with me. It was obvious he hated me and was bating me. I played dumb, for three days, leading up to the breakup. Then, when he thought he was going to stand me up one more time, I followed him to the bar he was drinking, I video taped him with my phone, then sent it to him.
Texted, ‘busy, huh?’
Stop taking out your daddy issues with me.
I’ve read people and have been fooled by people, just like most folks, i think.
But there are some people I know I instantly hate, but instead of accepting it and moving on, I try to pick my feelings apart and find out exactly what it is I don’t like. I’m afraid if I don’t do this, then I’ll have a major blind spot in my life that someone else can take advantage of.
What’s funny is watching men who are attracted to me try to convince themselves they’re not attracted to me. Like, it’s ok dude, I get it that I’m not exactly what you’re looking for, but just accept it and move on. I’m married anyway; it’s not like a crush would go anywhere.
Stap me! I relate to this! People who pretend to like me and they do not – and yes, they’re unaware of it. It’s about reading their energy. Then I move on. It happened to me recently, from a ‘psychic’ reader, who was projecting something about her father. What a revelation that was.
i’m really interested in how you go about cutting off the hologram’s energy..?
Starring in someone’s psychodrama. :DDDDD That’s uncomfortable. I will have to check myself on this one. See who I am casting in that roll.