Astrology And Psychology: More On Elsa P The Hologram And The Upside Of Denial

bombed-house.jpgI was on the phone with satori, talking about my life near the end of Pluto’s transit to my Moon

“You know that astrology conference is in Denver, there are going to be all kinds of people here, astrologers I mean and some of them are going to want to meet me. Hey! Let’s go over the Elsa’s.” I laughed.


“Uh huh.”

“But they don’t know the reality here. People would flip if they did. I am telling you this house? It’s bombed out. I am serious. I am pretty much living in a house that has been hit by a bomb and it’s so bad it is going take me at a year to try to recover. Actually I think it may take two years or more. I don’t know how long it is going to take and I could explain it completely I am sure.”

“Yeah, you could.”

“I could but it would take me the rest of my life so I’d rather not. Why would I? There are some things you are wildly better off not knowing and what has happened to me and my family is one of these things. I am telling you, people would be so shocked – they would be too shocked if they could see the conditions, they’d be jolted.”

“I bet.”

Yeah, it’s not supposed to be like this. You could break your mind trying to fathom my life and my situation. People are much better off with the hologram and I am better off too, I’d say. Because I would have to explain things that are so far removed from normal, it would be almost impossible or at least it would completely disrupt what I am doing. It would be a full time job.”

hologram.jpg“Uh huh.”

“Yeah and I think this goes to show if you have a hologram you should keep it for your own good provided the universe allows you too and in this case I think it will. It has been this way my whole life. It was like this when I was a kid too, it is obviously my fate. My life is my fate and I don’t mind but I don’t want to explain it all day either. I will be lucky to tell 10% of what I know and have seen. Er… make that 5%. Yeah if you have awareness of just 5% of my reality I’d say that would be more than enough for the average person to try to process. The things that are common to me are just not fit for consumption for normal people and I guess that’s why this whole phenomenon exists. It’s in the best interest of everyone, I’m sure.”

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Astrology And Psychology: More On Elsa P The Hologram And The Upside Of Denial — 10 Comments

  1. I’ve learned this from you: I rarely tell people more than they need to know. it’s simplified my life immensely.

  2. anesa – that is very sweet and thoughtful. I am so incredibly sensitive I would feel all kinds of things real OR imagined. I only survive the seminars by the skin of my teeth under circumstances that are “normal” and that was the situation long before I took to writing on the internet.

    At this point I have no idea who knows me,who reads, who does not, how much they read, how often, how long, what they read and what they didn’t. I imagine this works in my favor because having no idea who or what I should worry about makes it easy to not worry about anything.

    I can tell you for sure, I have a lot of denial around this blog. I routinely figure 8 or 10 people read here and am alarmed when the veil lifts which it does from time to time and I am informed otherwise.

    I treat this like everything else in my life. That is, I try to keep at least some grip on reality so I am not blindsided but I don’t hang about in reality for large amounts of time. I don’t have to so why would I?

    And as odd as this *may sound if all these defenses were not in place I certainly would not write they way I do. The truth in plain English:

    I am hoping to die before anyone finds out I have done this. Written stuff down, that is.

    🙂

    Thanks very much for posting, anesa. You made me feel good.

  3. I was wondering if you would come to Denver for UAC, if I would meet you by chance. But I also thought you may not want to, because you would be recognized and I’m sure that takes a lot of energy bumping into people you’re not sure who they are and who tell you they know you. Even if they appreciate what you write and all that. And with that Neptune thing, people would think they know you well, even though they don’t.

    I tend to be very cautious being intrusive into people’s energy and the moment I sense anything I shy away (but I’m well aware some people just don’t care!) Sun/Saturn in Aquarius with asc lord Mercury in Cap here.

  4. Satori, I’ve learned the same thing here. I don’t talk as much and I don’t pry as much. It has improved my life greatly.

    And Elsa, I’d love to meet you one day bombed out house or no.

  5. anesa – ::snort:: Yeah, I think you’re one to me but I am going to forget this in a few hours as anyone who knows me in real life could testify.

    “How are you doing?” someone will ask after a horrible crisis.

    “Oh that? That has left my mind.”

  6. Oh, you made my day, Elsa.

    See, I for one live very far away from where you are and yet I’m a very regular reader of your blog. And of course benefiting immensely from it.

    But maybe it’s better if you keep on thinking that very few people are reading, really… The thought of overseas readers taking notes could be a bit overwhelming 😉

    Much love,
    anesa

  7. there is something known as retraumatization. constantly replaying an awful experience is one of the primary elements of ptsd.
    one of the neat things about neptune is that he allows one to re-create their own experience in their head in such a way that its easier to live with. jungians, at least, call that re-mythologizing. like rewriting our own stories in a different way. and there’s countless ways of telling a story, and what slant one chooses to take and what one chooses to emphasize makes a huge difference.

    the perspective is what matters. who cares what someone else thinks? really. nobody is ever going to share another’s perspective completely anyway, since they don’t share brains.

    i mean, it helps to able to deal with what one needs to but that doesn’t mean one have to (or should) keep their head stuck in awful things. life is full of the beautiful and the terrible, and i think we can choose where we give the energy of our extra focus… where does one want to invest “spare change” anyway?

    i hope i made some sense here 😉

  8. Wow. what a poignant post. Here’s to all the tools and materials you need for building your new house.
    {Of course, my Cap moon square Pluto thinks of re-building rather than repairing*–sorry!}

    We’re behind you %100–and if you can’t handle knowing who we are that’s fine by me, ha ha

  9. For some reason this reminds me of a foster kid that came to our office for about a year until she out-grew the system.
    This sweet, exuberant girl had lost her parents (one to death, one to substance abuse), suffered some pretty horrible abuse by one of her uncles, and then was placed in state care after her grandmother, her guardian, died. She loved painting and drawing, so the counselor did a lot of art therapy and we would hang it up where only the staff could see it. One time they did “house-tree-person,”* but on seperate days to keep it low-key. After the client left, her counselor, another of our psychologists, and I were discussing her tree and what it might mean; while the professionals were talking about the fact that she had drawn a stump and the implications of that, what I noticed was that the stump had awesome roots and new growth/shoots coming out of it.
    That’s some profound stuff, man. It still gives me hope and keeps me movin’.
    So I guess what I’m saying is may all your trees flourish. 🙂

    *House-tree-person is a subjective measure of psychological function, sort-of like Rorshach but you make your own inkblots. You draw one of each, however you want to, and how you explain them when questioned and the features on each are used to assess current and/or past psychological states.

  10. That UAC conference I was in Boulder and wanted to go but in similar circumstance with my daughter having a 4th house pluto blitzkrieg most of her 23 years and me in the 8th. Just couldn’t muster up the houtzpa to go. Funny, huh?
    Thanks for your vivid reports from the interior. These connections are so enriching….:)

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