Like my son, some of my friends, my clients and the people who write me for advice are benefiting from my association with the soldier. I have taken to straight out asking for his opinion in certain circumstances.
I specifically consult with him when a man’s behavior is involved and the situation is not clear to me because invariably he can tell me what the man is up to in about 4 seconds and this is enormously helpful and valuable.
It has also made me aware how easy women get wrapped around the axle when it comes to men and also how often they feed each other’s chaos as well. Bottom line the women get together to speculate what the man is up and the general assumption is that he’s up to in no good.
But what I am learning these days is women have this wrong as a matter of routine. According to the soldier, in many (most) cases the man actually is into the woman, the woman just does not understand what’s going on at all. And since I started looping him in for purposes of translation every woman I know has seen her relationships with men improve and they are all so relieved. “You mean he’s not an asshole? You mean he actually likes me? Allll right!” And believe it or not, I think this is a Pluto in Capricorn topic.
I say that because I think one of the major themes of the next 10 years or so will be the shadow side of parenting. I think parenting is just plain broken and the main reason is the division between women and men and this is going to be a major topic on this blog over these next years. It will be a slow start seeing as Pluto is going to retrograde back into Sagittarius but let me ask you this:
Have you felt, seen or experienced even the slightest crack in the foundation of what you think of the opposite sex?
I just think that book (even though I haven’t read it) “He’s just not that into you” put us all on edge. Ugh.
But to answer the question, Elsa, yes. I have.
A guy friend recently told me (in giving me advice about an elusive Virgo) “Men show rather than tell.”
While I do think men tell, a lot of times it’s easy to miss what they have shown, and this can be part of where I haven’t been looking (in waiting for him to tell)….
I was sitting around last night thinking that there were problems with the way I run my relationships and htat I ought to sit bak and take amonth or two to sort my head out . .
And now I’m sitting back thinking I shouldn’t click submit after talking on the phone while typing without some kind of read through. Ugh. To run that last sentance again ‘that I ought to sit back and take a mont or two’ oy.
I was watching The Last Lecture (on YouTube) the other day and got to the part where he quotes a woman’s advice on men: “Watch what they do. Listen to nothing they say.”
It floored me for several minutes and gave me much to think about.
I’m not sure how far I can take that idea (nor am I sure that it doesn’t also apply to women), but it’s definitely different from how I was dealing with a few situations prior to this week.
all the time.
i actually have more problems understanding women. and have had some really bad assumptions about how “normal women” behave. (it was the girls who bullied me in school, so i had to step out of that victimization business and look around a little better. not that i’m really done doing that….)
except for really grokking the degree to which hormones apparently affect male behaviour. i just don’t get it…
Honestley, I am not sure it is possible for me to more impressed than I am with the opposite sex. For all sexes though, I find that the level of maturity, grace and self awareness varies a lot from individul to individual. Hopefully, but not always this improves with age. Still, it seems to me that females tend to have more maturity, grace and self awareness. And although yes, I have a bias as I am attracted to females, I am also more reverent of people, regardless of sex that have these inherent qualities.
I think so. I am seem to be in a phase where my trust in men has been broken. It’s not because I think men are less worthy of trust than females, it’s because they’re the ones that I get involved with romantically. And my concept of trust in romantic relationships is being severely tested.
Yes. Things are improving in how I relate by letting the man do the leading and just relaxing in his presence. I never trusted that before. It’s working a little too well and now he wants all my time lol. So I’ve stepped back and we are to talk about how our time together is planned.
Totally. A therapist I was seeing (not for any major reason, just to sort out my feelings on this issue) recommended to me “The Female Brain.” Learning about the major differences in our biochemistries has really made me more understanding (and less likely to chew off my mens’ heads).
I’ve never had much problem understanding men. I think it’s mostly because I grew up with two brothers and a very, very there father.
Women, however, often mystify me, and it bothers me because I really would like more female friends. But I’m terrified.
Hey Elsa, here’s a story I found today which totally represents the decline in parenting. Made me think of this right away:
http://www.money.co.uk/article/1000390-13-year-old-steals-dads-credit-card-to-buy-hookers.htm
example: My mother always knows just what to say to make me feel better, about whatever. My father always says exactly the worse thing at the worst time, but on the other hand… he makes sure I have clean oil and rotated tires and window-washer fluid and an emergency road-kit every time I drive anywhere.