When It Comes To Anger, What Is Your Fuse Like?

I was talking to Ben last night about the Gunfighter movie. I told him how someone badgered the soldier for the better part of a year one time. The guy just harassed and harassed him. He told him he was a pussy, that he’d never been a green beret and so on and on. I am talking day in and day out. “You’re a pussy, you’re an asshole, you’re a piece of shit…”

The soldier warned him to shut up many times but guy did not have the sense and then one day the soldier had enough. The guy called him a name and in the space of just a few seconds, the soldier has him in a totally compromised position, literally 1/4 inch from dying just about the most horrible, violent death you can imagine.

“Why do people push people like that?” Ben asked.

I didn’t have an answer for that but I note the soldier has a very long fuse which is a well known Taurean trait. He has Saturn in aspect to Mars which offers the ability to control his temper.

I have a decently long fuse but it is of no use at all because you can’t see it burn. I am candid, even brusque with people I like and when I become ultra solicitous it is a sure sign I loathe the person and I am ready to strike. Mars in Libra.

What is your fuse like? Long? Short? Nonexistent? Where is your Mars.


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When It Comes To Anger, What Is Your Fuse Like? — 45 Comments

  1. Anyone who’s been reading here for long is probably long since sick of hearing about my Mars, but I’ll say it anyway: Mars conjuncts Venus and Pluto in Libra, trines Moon, sextiles Neptune, and hits everything in my chart somehow.

    I have a changeable fuse, if that makes sense. The first time I meet with a certain offense, it’s going to take me a while before I say anything. The second time, I’ll speak up in 1/1,000th of a second. I also have very finely tuned degrees of displeasure I can display. *laughs*
    The only thing that’s the common denominator, no matter how long the person has known me, is that it always, always, always shocks the other person/people when I’ve finally had enough. It’s like people assume they can poke this bear to their heart’s content and it will never awaken. Uh…. no. Not only no, bu hell no. And some of these people should really know better by now. 😉

  2. Medium fuse but with an atom bomb at the end. Mars in Sag, 12th house, combined with Venus Libra in the 9th (wide square). I want to be all nice and rational, especially with people I don’t know well. I make an effort to ‘behave’. But if someone keeps pushing my buttons and I’ve been simmering under the surface about something, I have been known shock them with an outburst of massive proportions.

  3. heh…it’s there, SaDiablo. And I feel the changeable fuse, since mine is also in Libra. 2nd House, opp. Moon, trine Midheaven and Jupiter.

    Most of the time, it’s a long fuse. I don’t think I’m so good at hiding it when the fuse is burning – thanks to the first house insanity Pluto/Uranus – but some people are just soooo dense they can’t see it coming. I give a million chances to people, most of them undeserved, but when I’m done, I’m done in a huge way. Like I sever the limb. But with the Libra component, I’m likely to do it in a “nice” way, like just disappear from their life or become unavailable to get together with them.

    While I was in hospital, I think the nurses were like WTF when I finally said “enough of this shit – I am going home!!!!” Three days of waiting to have a thirty minute procedure done? I was okay the first day, pretty cranky the second day, and on the third day, I blew. Pretty funny how I blew up and they were there to get me downstairs in 15 minutes. Then I shut up and went back to the nice lady I am. lol

  4. isn’t that interesting.. I vary quite a bit… fuse sometimes long, sometimes short, but I’ll tell one thing, I am exactly the same way, when I start being “nice” to you, I have had it up to my eyeballs and have nothing left for you at all. No one ever recognizes this, they think I suddenly like them. Glad to hear I’m not alone in that trait. Mars in leo.

  5. Mars in Leo. People seem to know instinctively that if they keep pushing me, I’ll react like an angry badger, so they keep poking me, because apparently I’m funny when I’m mad.

  6. pretty long fuse. mars trine saturn, mars in scorpio. a rant you’ll get every now and then, but for me to truly lose my temper is an occasion. most of it’s beneath the surface building and when it hits, nobody appears to have seen it coming.

  7. Omie and Elsa — could you please define or give an example of “nice” (at least how it manifests when you’re getting pissed off?) Is it something that a person who recognizes sarcasm would pick up — or are you just going through the motions of acting nice? The latter would be really hard for me to pick up (but then again, I usually know when I’m treating someone badly, so when they blow up at me I’m not surprised….)

  8. I don’t see myself clearly so i can’t even answer this question although i want to.

    I also have mars in cancer
    -conjunct mercury in cancer
    -it sextiles or trines ALL my earth and water
    -square Jupiter

    Mars in 11th…

    I do have one friend who gets freaked out by my “silence” — that’s not anger though, it’s concentration/focus — yet somehow she perceives it as angry distance.

    When i feel my anger rising, i tend to plot and plan what i will say. Whenever i have blown my top it’s usually verbal and i regret it later, feel embarrassed even if i have EVERY right to stand up for myself.

    I would rather have a more bold Mars….less protective and reactive.

  9. In my case, I am casual, boisterous, open and raunchy when I am comfortable. When I have to watch my every word or move around you, I become very annoyed and would really rather not know you.

    When I would rather not know you, I am sure to bring that about one way or the other. I don’t like to be controlled.

    “Elsa, you swear too much.”
    |
    “Fuck you,” I think while smiling, laughing gaily and plotting how I am going to get you out of my house for good.

    You think I am going to fight with someone like that? I only fight with people I love.

    You’re talking to a woman who fantasized killing her mother-in-law with miss Betty’s peach cobbler. My total plan was to feed her until she exploded like the girl in Willy Wonka.

    I then entertained NBA great and coach, Tom Heinsohn with the story. Miss Betty was my friend (black because I such a racist ::rolls eyes) who made the cobbler for me so I would look good for my mother-in-law. She was fucking the deacon of her church which is something else I told Heinsohn, who was on the floor laughing at that point.

    He told me he has never met anyone so real in his life. This used to be a good thing… and probably still is appreciated by Mars / Jupiter types.

    So my point is, I liked Betty and I like Heinsohn, so I told them all about trying to kill my mother in law, asking her in sweet voice, “Would you like some more cobbler, Velda?”

    You get the idea. When I am super polite, I am contemplating killing you. When I like you, I just be. And tell jokes and stuff.

    I can only sit around with manners on high for so long. I am neither born nor bred for it, there is nothing else to say.

    I once had a man on a date tell me to keep my voice down – I was laughing too loud. That was sudden death right there but do you think I said anything?

    Fuck no. I lowered my voice, spoke politely, finished dinner, smiled, got driven home and then asked him very politely not to call me again.

  10. I have Mars in Cancer also…in the 11 house opposite my sun, merc, saturn, jup. My anger comes out in various ways….it depends on whom it is directed at…..I can be very funny at the expense of that particular person (not nice), I come out with quick quips that get most people around laughing and the party I am directing it to is unaware of the quip…..it is really immature….

    Or I can become explosive….where I just roar for a while and then when I have finally exhausted myself….I am quiet and it’s all behind me.

    If I get furious at a salesperson or someone I don’t know for an obvious reason (rudeness, etc), I get extremely polite and try to contain my anger and hold it that way until I am finally by myself and then just yell at the top of my lungs! Must be my Leo rising that doens’t like to show I am angry. Pride?….

  11. I’ve got Mars in Gemini, but it’s tempered by being close to Saturn, but it’s all wrapped up in my 4th house, so! My fuse varies depending on who is bothering me. If it’s some stranger, or person I don’t know well, I generally ignore it/them. It takes A LOT for someone like that to get to me. If it’s family, they will HEAR it…LOUD & CLEAR! hahaha…I have a tendency to yell…this is often blamed upon my “latin” (Brazilian) heritage. *shrug* Either way, I forgive quickly due my Aries Sun, so no worries…

  12. Miss Betty was the first person who ever told me I had a nice ass. I was 27 at the time and didn’t believe a word she said.

    “What makes you say that?”

    “What do you mean, what makes me say that. Look at your ass!”

    “I can;t see my ass.”

    “Well I can and all these men around here sure as hell can – your ass is all they talk about.”

    “What!?” I was mortified. I literally was mortified, blushing and even felt tears threatening though I admit I had PMS. “You’re kidding me.”

    “Not kidding. You go off that way,” she said, pointing from the back of the store to the front. “And then they all start talking.”

    “Who?”

    “Everyone.”

    “Are you fucking with me, Miss Betty.”

    “No, hell no. Your ass is famous.”

    I walked to the front of the store feeling eyes on my ass, got home later that night.

    “Miss Betty said the men talk about my ass,” I told my husband.

    “I’m sure they do.”

    “What? Why? She said my ass was famous.”

    “Famous in 18 states,” he said.

    “What does that mean?”

    “You have the best ass in town, the best ass in the state, the best ass in 18 states… a big area.”

    “Are you fucking with me?”

    “No.”

    “How come you never told me people talked about my ass.”

    “I figured you knew.”

    “Well I didn’t,” I said walking off to brood and decide just what the fuck all this meant. I thought I had been betrayed or was being tricked or something.

  13. Taurus, with a long fuse that you can’t see burning. And when I’m “extra solicitous,” you better watch out. One of my favorite words in Japanese is “inginburei,” which literally means “polite rudeness” but in practice it means to be superficially extra-polite but rude in intent.

    But I have Mars in Pisces and I’m a buddhist pacifist so I just don’t get violent. Or maybe I took vows of nonviolence because of my explosive anger, I don’t know.

  14. Mars in Pisces – if it is with people I don’t know well or am not close to, my anger usually festers in the background, beneath the surface.

    Mars conjunct Mercury square Uranus – with the people I am closest to my fuse is pretty short and I am very vocal about it but just as quickly as my fuse is blown I am able to completely forget about what I was mad about in the first place.

    I’ve never been particularly comfortable with people who let their anger build up over time without ever expressing it. (though my honey has Mars square Uranus too, and man have I seen through him how harsh I probably am sometimes lol)

  15. when i get reaaaaaally polite it means my pluto’s coming out…

    things come and go pretty fast as far as irritations are concerned. if it’s not a big deal i let it dissipate. otherwise i might do something. particularly if its someone i care about and i could see it becoming a potential problem over time. or my son, who i have a responsibility to do my best to raise properly…

  16. great story Elsa. PinkMinxx, I am similar to Elsa in that I only fight with people I love, or maybe an absolute stranger who fucked with me. For everyone else I am seriously polite.

  17. Thanks Omie. I now realize I do the same with people I’m forced to spend time with but who drive me totally ape-shit up the wall. Like **ahem** over the holidays… OR I try to find ways to avoid them until I calm down.

  18. Mars in Pisces (opposite Saturn in Libra). I’m as sweet as pie.
    Douchebags (selfish assholes) and injustices are the two major things that light my fuse, but it usually just fizzles out since I’m a ginormous baby and hate confrontation.

  19. Moon conjunct Mars in Aries ( 2nd House )
    if you threaten my security ( that includes my self-worth ) i’m definetely not going to back down. However, having a lot of scorpio does make me tame that mars in aries a bit. Mars in aries acts rashly, defensively, without much planning… its “All Steam Ahead!” while scorpio is more like calculated and scheming… takes time to evaluate and find the perfect moment.
    I’m very protective of loved ones.. but if a loved ones hurts me.. I tend to go quiet. I tend not to hold my rage in, although if its not an appropriate time to release it, I can stay somewhat cool ( though likely quiet ) … ( Moon sq Uranus, Neptune & Saturn)

  20. typo *a loved one. this is about the 5th time today my communications have been wonky.. and this is miniscule, insignificant.. compared to the other things that have occurred. I’m surprised my internet hasn’t died already.

  21. I’ll fight fiercely with anyone EXCEPT family. Fighting with family breaks my heart. I always feel like we should be united in an “us against them” kind of way. That’s not to say I *won’t* fight with them, but I surely do hate it. I’m Mars in Cancer, too.

  22. Long fuse. I may appear to be masochistic. But I imagine myself in Lilliput, surrounded by inferiors and infidels. Mars in sagitarius (sextile venus in libra). But when (and if) I finally explode please protect yourself. Richter scale event if I feel self-righteous indignation. Jupiter and moon in taurus trine sun.

  23. Anger: Mars in Taurus in the eighth in tropical, in same house and in Aries in vedic. Well, since I know I have no fear of being pounded upon, or of pounding, I do everything I can to diffuse that feeling. I think it comes from being Irish and a few other volatile things as well. And I do think it’s something picked up–I eventually picked all the maneuvers up from my Dad. So, first I try to charm and cajole someone into giving me, if what I want in the argument is worth fighting over. if that doesn’t work, then I go to logical negotiation, then finally into it being very clear by body posture and tone of voice (no need to shout at all, they get the point that I will not run off and will go toe-to-toe..There is also just not going to that point of being verbal or physical, and just going to court. Depends on what it the issue/object and hand.

    Elsa, regarding how you react: Good Lord, I would hate to have you in a room with my super-polite mind-your-manners-triple Capricorn friend. She blows faster and worse than I do and goes after people, while you’re busy being polite when you’re pissed.

    Regarding your derriere: how very intriguing. There are so many variations on that. Some people /women have a firm rounded one, others still with another variety of a good butt, have one that’s small and still wiggles like jelly in a really cute way when they walk (the bee-donkey-donk variety.) Then there’s the one in the girdle like..any actress and most women from the 1950s and early 1960s..

    Uh, never mind. A beautiful backside is in the eye of the beholder, not usually the owner. Unless the owner also happen to have a 3 glass mirror.

  24. Mars in Aries/4th. (T-square with Pluto/Moon; conjunct Venus; Grand Trine with Saturn/Neptune.

    I once took an axe to the toaster oven of my meth-addict neighbour who almost burnt the house-which meant my house-down.

    It was VERY satisfying. And if he came after me I would’ve axed off his head. Calmly. My other neighbours were all watching and afterwards they were like “Holy shit you stand up for yourself.”

    It took me most of my teens/20s to stop feeling guilty about getting angry and just embrace it. Once I did that I felt fully in control of my expression.

    I feel very lucky in that I have very physical cues to how quickly my anger is building. I get VERY hot–if I start taking clothes off and we’re not about to jump in the sack, you’re in trouble. ha ha

    I’m also very good at calming down angry people.

  25. kashmiri… you inspire me! 🙂 I do get a bit guilty about my anger at times… perhaps i should just learn to embrace it, feel everything that i feel instead of analyzing it and thinking “Is this ok?”

    i guess thats the only way to completely own your aries mars 🙂

  26. LOL I like this question and everyones answers. Mars in Sag conjunct Neptune and trine staturn and Pluto. I have quite a long fuse it takes a lot to get me really angry and think this has to be due to my mars being well supported by outer planets that weigh in my chart heavily but believe me when I do blow I can be venomous, sharp tongued, moralistic and prechy. I hit you where it hurts too. Sometimes however if a let it go my anger will dissipate and I think that might be due the neptune conjunction.

  27. Charles said:

    Taurus, with a long fuse that you can’t see burning. And when I’m “extra solicitous,” you better watch out. One of my favorite words in Japanese is “inginburei,” which literally means “polite rudeness” but in practice it means to be superficially extra-polite but rude in intent.

    I second and third and fourth that. It is the perfect statement of my Mars – just before it blows.

    Mars conjunct Saturn in Cancer at the point of two of my t-squares (or three or four depending upon how you count). square fun things like pluto and my sun, etc. etc. I don’t blow. If I can withdraw and not blow I withdraw. If you don’t take the VERY POLITE warnings you will loose and loose badly and usually I do damage to the walls around me (loud, mean, hard words can damage plaster walls you know …fwiw ;).

    I’d say that Elsa explained something very well. If I like you or love you and respect you I fight with you. I’ll say all sorts of things but usually it’s an argument to get to a solution or a fix of the problem. It will not be degrading you or calling you names. If you’ve gone beyond the pale with me you’ll get the very formal politeness and nothing more until you step over that line one last time and then you’ll be told off in no uncertain terms.

    I had my boss oh.. maybe a year ago begin yelling at me how I was insulting her and how she didn’t come to work to be insulted. I wasn’t actually insulting her. I had been sympathizing with the situation we were in and handing her EXTRA paperwork that was above and beyond my job duties to try to solve the problem. She was, admittedly, quitting smoking for the umpteenth time and her personality changes when she’s quitting (I now know about 6 times a year). But she started yelling and I just turned around, walked over to my desk, packed up my bag, picked up my coat and walked out. It was close to the end of the day. I came back the next day and nothing was said but she’s never yelled at me again. If she does, boy, she’d better watch it. I don’t get paid enough to do my job politely, better than the last guy, putting up with their personality problems (they’re aware they have them and they .. leak) and then to get yelled at on top of it. Nope. I’ll walk. 😀

  28. Uh, would someone explain how you can be ultra-polite and at the same time expect these people to figure out that they’ve stepped over the line, so hopefully something can be worked out? Worked out so the fused are extinguished and things are smoothe again.

    Although, crap, some people can’t be dealt with that way. They are just so wicked, so mentally ill, have such character flaws (which means it can’t be fixed like a neurosis can be fixed) and as Charles put it, they leak their toxins into the rest of us.

    And I see there are many of us talking about this in work situations.

    BTW Chas. Lobelia is a substitute for nicotine. Might want to tell the coffin nail quitter about that. Get it as a tincture and take a few drops orally or in coffee, whatever. It makes one feel like they’ve just has a cigarette. Tobacco is harder to quit that heroin, I have been told. Of course you could withhold that info just to watch her squirm more too. Some people really deserve that.

  29. “Uh, would someone explain how you can be ultra-polite and at the same time expect these people to figure out that they’ve stepped over the line, so hopefully something can be worked out?”

    In my case, with the guy on the date who told me to keep my voice down, I did not want to work it out. I didn’t like him so I just wanted to get out of the situation as politely as possible.

  30. coming back to this to say that I have a long, long fuse unless my security has been threatened, like Jo mentioned. Then I have no fuse at all (I think Aries SN in 4th House has to do with this, too).

    I do have Taurus, and I think Mars/Saturn has taught me in the long run what battles are worth having. But it takes ongoing maintenance work because they form a grand trine with Neptune, and imagining a battle where there is none is always a possibility.

    So I try to take a step back. I think having faith I can always snap someone’s neck if I feel like it keeps me cheerful.

  31. when I go from being a fairly nice, open, casual type that is chatty to cold formality and politeness that means you just got cut off. I don’t really expect them to realize it and change. Usually such behavior that crosses the line for me means they lack boundaries on a level that isn’t going to be “solved” by them realizing they’ve pissed me off. I guess by retreating into that politeness I’m trying to salvage as much of the situation as possible because I don’t see it ending well. It can either not end well calmly or it can not end well with me blowing. I prefer the calm method.

    I guess the best hoped for situation at that point is that they realize they’re being treated with polite polite hands and respond in kind. That is: getting on their best polite behavior. It has, in my experience, saved a lot of messes. Some people are just too stupid and when you have a long fuse like me and you push your luck.. well, I guess I used to have regrets when I blew but don’t really anymore. I used to feel guilt that someone was willing to cross boundaries and treat me poorly. I’ve been known to put up with it, give examples of what I like or how things work better but when it gets down to that level – I guess I don’t feel the regret I used to. I think that’s because I would hold it all in instead of trying to give some sort of help to the situation which I do now. The cold politeness comes AFTER they’ve run the fuse out – we’re usually talking a minimum of 6 months to a year.

    Someone mentioned:

    BTW Chas. Lobelia is a substitute for nicotine. Might want to tell the coffin nail quitter about that. Get it as a tincture and take a few drops orally or in coffee, whatever. It makes one feel like they’ve just has a cigarette. Tobacco is harder to quit that heroin, I have been told. Of course you could withhold that info just to watch her squirm more too. Some people really deserve that.

    I guess I don’t understand that. How do you suggest something like that to someone who yells if cigarettes, nicotine, quiting, starting or any of those words are mentioned (by me, by others, in conversation near her)? Even in “My aunt struggles with quitting and she’s really found x,y,z to help her after 30 years because she started when she was 14” or some such thing. That’s at the point that you walk away and let that person manage their own life. And I, do my best, to manage my own life. I guess I don’t get that.

  32. I have Mars in Gemini in the 5th house and my Mars trines Uranus. Basically, if someone is threatening my freedom in any way I lose my mind on them. That includes trying to control me or any part of my life as well. Growing up with a domineering Father was HELL on me and my Mother. He and I fought one another on a very deep level. I was what they used to refer to as a ‘hell raiser’.

    How short my temper is depends on who the person is and what the situation is. I am VERY good at ignoring situation where someone is lashing out at me unintentionally or where I am an innocent bystander. On the other hand, if a total stranger acts like a complete asshole to me for no reason than I can flip out fairly quickly. I have several planets in Scorpio in my chart and I tend to be very suspicious by nature. I don’t really fight with my family now….as I said it was a lot worse growing up when I was trying to assert my independance from them.

  33. “I once took an axe to the toaster oven of my meth-addict neighbour who almost burnt the house-which meant my house-down.

    It was VERY satisfying.”

    Hee! I can totally relate, kash. I once took a practice sword to the dirty dishes in the kitchen. When it was taken from me, I started breaking things by hand. Quite, quite satisfying. 😀

  34. Lobelia. I was saying by withholding the info–which means not giving her info which would have further empowered her regarding quitting smoking. By just not even bring it up, if she’s that awful, it can be fun to watch her stew in her nicotine irritation.Every time she’s yelling at you, you KNOW she’s in agony over the smoking problem. It’s mean, but as I said some people deserve what they get. She may be so crazy and mean that she doesn’t deserve to be helped at all.

    In my case, after working last year with someone who is so..flawed and truly mean-spirited in character, that was torturing me by deed and words every single day she was there, and it got to the point she physically attacked me with an object, I was certainly willing to smile over stuff happening to her.

    And saying that I do remember Debbi Kempton-Smith making the comment that some people have figured out if you just wait long enough you’ll get to see your enemies screw themselves up all by themselves….But hat’s going from how do we react in styles of anger into something else, I guess…

  35. SaDiablo: “I once took a practice sword to the dirty dishes in the kitchen. When it was taken from me, I started breaking things by hand. Quite, quite satisfying. :D”

    bwwwaaahahahahahha! At the old homestead, no one would do a damned thing in terms of cleaning up after themselves. So I would end up doing ALL the dishes for everyone, and I went on strike. Did no good at all. Still, piled everywhere.

    So. I went to Walmart. Bought paper plates, cups, and disposable flatware. Went home, and started slamming those dishes around with intent to break every damned one of them. Family is looking at me like O_O.

    What pissed me off the most? The plates Would. NOT. Break. Swear to God. I was enraged….

  36. krisinluck, I have had the same problem with teen-kiddies not cleaning up. My dishes however, did break and we still use the paper stuff.Now I have to pick them up off the floor because they miss the trash can so often. You can’t win for losing sometimes. I thought about having a bonfire in the trash can, but with my luck it would catch the cat’s tail on fire with him running through the house, like Hanuman running through Lanka with His tail on fire, catching fire to everything. So no bonfire.

  37. I agree with Pippa.

    I have Mars in Cancer in 11H square Pluto in Libra. Mars rules my Sun, Mercury and Venus.

    I hate fighting with my family and friends. Strangers? No problem. When I feel impatient and like my fuse is going to blow, I try to leave whatever situation I’m in until I can cool down.

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