My father manages to come in and out of my life as he pleases. When he’s gone, I miss him. When he’s here, I’m happy – but hesitant to get attached. Either way, I don’t hand him his hat and show him the door… and I can’t for the life of me figure out why that is?!
I’ve been hurt less by people I felt closer to, and was happy to cut them out. With my father, it’s not about being unable to let him go. I actually don’t want to and it’s really very confusing. Come to think of it, I don’t know why he keeps coming and going either. It makes no sense to me, and the confusion makes the situation even more troubling.
Please help me understand!
Part Time Daughter
Dear Part Time,
It’s nice to see all this Aries in a chart. I know I can be straight with you! The worst that can happen is you’ll come back fighting and I’ll duck. In whatever case, I get a reprieve from having to be polite!
Number one, your father is not going to change. Just forget about that ever happening. And this is in your best interest.
Your chart is almost entirely Cardinal signs: Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn. You have all these signs covered and so naturally, your number one desire is for CONTROL. You want to control everyone, in every way, all the time. And when you’re not able to, no problem. You just cut them out! But you can’t cut out your Dad, and you can thank God for that.
Because he’s your key. He’s literally your key to freedom. Because this is the deal: he does you no harm. Your ego gets bruised maybe, but he’s not doing you any real harm. All he’s doing is living akin to his nature and if you could find a way to accept and allow this… well, at that point you will have consciously accepted and embraced something into your life you cannot control.
If you can manage this, there’ll be great cause to celebrate. Break out the fireworks! Because you will see all kinds of pain drop off for one thing. Know why? It’s because you’re failing twice here and this is what’s bothering you. You’re failing to control your father, and you’re failing to control yourself as well.
If you could control yourself, you’d dump his ass, right? Obviously, you can’t do that. You can not amputate your father. You also can’t control him and the universe begs you to accept this. Just think. Your dad comes and goes as he pleases. Is that really so awful?
This is a fight you can’t win and besides that, it’s the wrong fight. Want a real fight? Fight to control your need to control! I promise that’ll keep you real busy! 😀