A lot of people’s entire life is about themselves. They’re only interested in what’s happening to them, or how they feel or what they can get, for themselves.
It’s hard to relate to others when you don’t actually care about them, but the damage goes far beyond that. I’m not trying to indict anyone here. I just want to talk about this.
People expand by listening to stories that other people tell. It’s pretty straightforward. You can only do much. You can only reach so far. You can reach further if you talk to people who have been places you’ve never been, seen things you’ve never seen, and (God forbid), know more then you know.
A person focused on self misses this completely. You try to tell them a story that will crack the nut, that is literally destroying their life. They stop you, because the story is not about them.
The story is about them. It just doesn’t have their name in it so they flip out. “Can we get back to ME?”
It may sound as if I am talking about one person here. I’m not. I’m talking about many people. I see this all the time.
You’re an Aries and if it’s about Libra, you’re not interested. I guess you don’t realize that you’ll never understand Aries without understanding Libra.
Can you see how this keeps your world, small? It keeps you quite stupid, in a way. To think that if it’s not about you, it’s not relevant.
If you want a jump on Saturn in Sagittarius, work on opening doors in your life to make way for opportunity.
It’s either that or block it. I don’t know why anyone would choose that.
Tell the truth (Sadge joke). Are you self-absorbed?
This is a tough one– blogs like this one tell stories that teach, but the replies,my own included, then take that info and apply it to our OWN lives.. I feel you do us a great service by putting info out there that allows us to shine a flashlight on our murky corners and learn from the stories of others.I don’t think this means that many of us are not compassionate or caring about the original storyteller.I read so many comments where the readers list their WHOLE planetary line up and related the post to THEIR situation.I figure that’s part of what a blog or informational newsletter is about.
Probably your thoughts on how we should process Saturn in Sag. are about how we will do this out in the world, not necessarily here in the forums you offer. I think a lot of readers connect with the information and not necessarily the personalities behind the info/or the principal in the stories..and of course, some do the opposite. And of course we’ve been dealing with ARIES/LIBRA! LOL!!
I am always relating the info here to my self. That’s why I come here!! But i do get it about how to use the upcoming Saturn out there in our daily relationships and lives.
I know what you mean Madeline, but I think some of that is the quirk of this medium. By necessity we really only have our own lives to relate forum posts to. Be different if we conducted conversations in person like that!
Good response, Madeline. I guess the bottom line is, you have to be open and aware enough to relate new and seemingly unrelated information to your situation. Sometimes I-I-I-me-me-me people have a hard time making the connection.
Madeline – nope I appreciate when people take the outline Elsa gives in a story and applies it to their life. It teaches me the pattern and the many variations on that same pattern. It is very useful. Sometimes overwhelming but actually a good thing.
My question is what do you do about the person who tells a horrible story and you want to stop them because either they’ve told THAT story 20 times, yes it was very funny the first time, or because it is so disconnected and wandering it is extremely difficult to follow?
What do you do when you’re serving someone, someone very dear to you dealing with awfulness of family stuff who takes two hours of your day every other day to go over the same stuff. I know that some of it is emotional processing for her but I’m really drained from being her only support person “outside” of the situation. You cannot turn them away, they’re in pain but it is the same story and she won’t take action to protect herself and just keeps getting shredded.(I have suggested counseling for her to deal with this mess.) I don’t have two hours every day or every other day to spare. I didn’t mind the middle of the night phone call at the first major shitstorm but the rest, once a week maybe??
“What do you do when you’re serving someone, someone very dear to you dealing with awfulness of family stuff who takes two hours of your day every other day to go over the same stuff. I know that some of it is emotional processing for her but I’m really drained from being her only support person “outside” of the situation.”
Realize you may need someone to do this for you some day. Big picture. Look towards the future.
I can be pretty self-absorbed, sure. And I get called selfish a lot — though I’ve come to realize I’m not, it’s a projection/control thing from those doing the name-calling.
This is what I see about this topic:
I’m having conversation with someone, right? And they’re blah, blah, blah about their or someone in their life’s problems, so I try to widen the focus a bit and talk about culture or upbringing or some other concept that underpins the issue they’re having and they want nothing to do with it. Nup! Has nothing to do with ’em. So they overtalk me, and I let ’em and escape from the conversation as soon as I can.
Not talking into a fan, see? 😉
So I don’t think I’m so self-absorbed that I refuse to learn, at least.
It’s the joy of my Saturn progressing to sag. I needed to put more attention on me. I was getting runned over all the time. I still have my sensitivity and I love listening to other people’s stories. And I have always learned a lot from other people. I just don’t have to believe everything I hear, follow anyone just because they say come hither, or do something about what I’m being told. I guess I was getting too into it in the past. Ended up repeatedly getting hornswoggled.
Oh, I am presently looking at it as the Pluto square Saturn challenge. If I don’t stand where I am, I can get emaciated very easily. Getting too old for that.
Maybe its because I have Saturn in Sagitarius (coming up to second Saturn return) but I find the lesson of Sag is less about going with expanding vectors (in which ego really isn’t overcome, it just relocates to this new rangey set of boundaries) than about giving way to a new sense of material surroundings (mutable fire releasing summer to the emergent cardinal earth), about falling (becoming earth) or dispersing (mutable) as a form of “expansion” and “growth”.
Saying that makes me reflect on the way we use astrological language to tell a story we want to tell; for instance, one story I see a lot is about improvement/getting what you want/becoming more free. So, the point about any aspect is how to use it to this end. Sometimes that is connected to a spiritualist narrative which imagines our goal is to become angels, transcend etc. When I wrote my response here, I realized I have a different story, one that treats what might be called “release” or transcendence as percipitation.
I’m hardcore neptunian so I like helping others be of service and have their trust in me that I will treat their stories with respect (scorpio/8H positive energy).
Best of all, I trained in this area so now I get paid too to be others-focussed 🙂
However, saturn transiting my 1H is helping me take responsibility for how self-absorbed I can be. I have a one-year relationship where I am realising about this huge side in me. I have this image of love which is very neptunian and my boyfriend is an individual, not the story I create in my head, and I struggle with that.
Also, how about when I’m going through a hard time (now) and I want my needs met and expect him to help me with them when he is also having a hard time (now).
I get mad at him and a lot is about my mememe side.
How about when I try to not relate what my friends share with me by saying ‘That happened to me too’ midway their stories so I tame that side of me? Lol
Overall I do thing that sode is shared by others but in different ways and degrees. It’s human nature.
I am so sick of the selfie trend. Many end up regretting what they post online (boundaries, hello?)
Anyhoo, great timing with this post (of course, imo as it relates to me, lol) as my lessons of humility continue!
did you see James Franco’s cray selfie of himself naked?? never saw it honestly but heard about it: At least that’s what was going around and he keeps making selfies of himself in the bathroom and on his bed. Jesus, doesn’t he have any privacy boundaries? well it seems like some of the women seem to enjoy it *shrug*
I saw the one where he wsd in front of a mirror, maybe showing a bit of his p_ hair?
I so hope I don’t become desensitised regarding those kind of pics…Kim K in her white swimsuit showing her body?
I’m not that bothered with her doing it yet teenagers are sexting and exchanging pics that are worrisome…especially as they explore their sexuality (normal) and now they have new platforms to share when teeens are still green around the matter of boundaries.
Times are changing…The Selfie Era
it was actually my husband who told me. *shakeshead* lmao!! He looks up at the news and front page of his email newsfeed and it was there. Then i said, wtf? whyyy is he doing that? lmao! we just shrugged it off as weird. but it sure is going to make me look at James Franco differently if he does another spiderman film.
This is a difficult matter. Is anyone able to tune out selfishness from themselves completely? Don’t think it is possible. But to tune selfishness down on a low level is possible. And it should be done.
I’m a Libra with Saturn in Sag and I’m not sure what the relevance of that is to me but my mother is an Aries and whenever I tell her a story, she almost always says something about herself. And if she can’t trump my story with something she has done or seen, she just has a puzzeled look about it. This is the reason I learned about astrology. I always thought it was just something that you suggested to yourself long enough and you became what others said.
i tend to do that. i notice it, can’t help it….stellium in 1st house. Not always, but to share, so i can relate. it has to do with relating to others, so we can connect. Plus i have my 1st house aspecting 8th house pluto.
This really touches me easily and I see that it is related to the ‘withholding’ conversation that also elicited a lot of attention and engaged us so thoroughly. I find it true about my Libra Sun that it is naturally Other focussed, too much so at times – I can easily lose myself. Perhaps this is also at the root of my withholding; I have to guard against giving it all away to everyone else.
My plans for becoming a teacher have not yet been finalized – I am hopeful to be accepted – in the ideal I can see clearly getting to know children as the individual human beings they are, and helping them to discover their strengths, find tools to work with their weaknesses. Liked a Frederick Douglass quote read lately: “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
Recently perhaps because I’ve turned 50 I’ve had a crisis of, I suppose, ‘self’-faith – and I became very self focussed as I struggled to realize my next steps. Thank Creation I’m coming out of it – not pleasant.
No, not terribly self-absorbed. I have Saturn-Jupiter natally. I feel a responsibility to have a global perspective.
“We all have a story to tell” has been a lifelong mantra for me. I Love to hear others stories, it connects me to humanity (aqu moon). I came to a conclusion in my early 20s that there is a difference between self absorbed and self centered. We are talking about self absorption. Self centered is more about being centered on the sanctuary of our beings. From the place of self centeredness we can accept Self Love and tap into the well of compassion for ourselves and others.
I like your concept of being self centered. Being a Libra I’m too much other centered, and because of that I’ve tried too hard to please others in the past, and ending up losing myself. But with Aries in Libra these last few months I’ve been more assertive. It’s great to finally be able to say what needs to be said realizing that life is too short to let others take advantage of you. Yes, even “nice people” get tired of being run over folks.
The Aries/Libra thing made me laugh & laugh 😉
I know the discussion is about self-absorption but, how do you think Jupiter plays in this? Is someone with a poorly aspected Jupiter more insular & someone with good Jupiter aspects more open/expansive-minded? Just a thought…
I mean, that’s a possibility, but I think there are many scenarios that bring this up and out in people.
What does this have to do with me?
haha sorry I was going to add “just kidding” and my cat jumped on the keyboard and knocked over a water glass.
I have been dealing lately with serving and listening, serving and listening! Listening because yeah, people talking about their issues over and over and aren’t listening when I suggest they put down the grenade. Oh well! I love hearing other people’s stories, so I love reading the comments here to and your life experiences, and Satori’s.
I do think everything on this site has to do with us all, as we all know people different aspects affect, and we all learn? And like others I assumed we were commenting from our perspective, which we know best, to marvel at accuracy and to share learning? I love looking things up after I’ve read a bit here, using a set of old astrology books my brother’s MIL kindly gave to me. It’s all interesting!!
— ie., the grenade they are bashing on their own heads while saying their heads hurt from it! Sorry, long day traveling and not communicating clearly.
I’m an introvert which has been misinterpreted as self absorbed. But I’m not. Relating to people is like my mission in life. I just ignore people that are self absorbed. They don’t notice anyway. But I’ve noticed a lot of them have groupies. I just never find them that interesting tbh. They usually don’t make an impression on me either way. I’m not impressed and that confuses them and they move on.
I definetly think there’s a difference between introversion and self absorption. Every self absorbed person I know is an extrovert. They just spread themselves out and take nothing in. And introverts absorb stimuli and integrate it into their perspective. A self absorbed persons perspective never changes. Their lens is always pointed at their image.
Just a couple thoughts:)
Interesting thought…I’m pondering this concept and yes, I see what you mean in people I know and myself.
Mama~ I think you need a radio show…
Elsa completely needs a radio show! And I think it would be amazing to har her conversing with Satori about these topics. We call in and it’s a party! Great idea — how has this not happened? “Planets in Shy” — prefer not to?
Haters gon’ hate. 😉
I see Aries and Leo as more self-absorbed than Sadge. Biased as I am. Saturn in Sadge means finally getting the discipline to learn a foreign language enough to become fluent. It is about getting to communicate with myself better by learning to communicate with others. This is a transit full of potential…and self-improvement, during which you have to be a bit self-absorbed 😉
I like this post…it is so easy to be self-absorbed no matter your sign. With 12 Houses we have them all. But I am a Sag sun. Not long ago my friend and I took a long walk through a lovely old neighborhood. I was going through something (aren’t we all – always) and bent her ear. She is a Gemini and eventually said, “Enough – my turn!” And it was and she shared and we continued on our way. After reading this I sent her a quick email and thanked her for “communicating” so effectively it was time for me to get out of my head and back into the world. I’ve always loved the opposites. Geminis to my Sag sun, Aries to my 4 planets in Libra. So right Elsa – if you don’t know the opposites to you (and squares, sextiles, trines and conjuncts, as well) then how do you know you?
One thing I have noticed with progressed saturn in sag is that I really don’t believe in anything anymore. I was always so causy. Fighting for the cause, defending the cause, latching onto causes. Exhausting. Causiness can turn to craziness. I’m far more accepting of differences now. I don’t want to argue or beat people up over some kind of beliefy-ness addiction. It has freed up alot of energy.
This post actually made me think of self-absorbtion as ego-centricism. The idea that one’s beliefs are innately correct and other beliefs either don’t exist or are inherently incorrect.
I’m hoping saturn in sag expands our general consciousness and opens our willingness to other notions of right and wrong. Other ideas of how to live, different ideas of how to perceive the scientific discoveries, etc.
A few days ago during a meditation session a man said that those of us who are lucky enough to feel strong energies have the duty to cultivate healing energy and share that with the world. He said its our responsibility. I’m starting to really believe in it.
I don’t see any of myself in this at all-LOL
As a leo yes I’m self absorbed but not 24/7. I have other people in my life who need me to listen.and I am there for them. I’ve noticed 2 types of people who come to me, those who need and ask for guidance, and those who just want to complain. I’ve figured these people out over the years who really wants to learn and those who refuse to change, their just venting problems that they have no true intention of learning from their history. I listen to those who are looking forward and tune out those who keep circulating the same old trash. It gets boring after awhile.
Natal sag moon, saturn, uranus + mercury neptune, etc so I’ve just never had a problem relating to other people’s stories no matter how different they are. Its almost unimaginable that there are people who can’t relate. What I see instead are people choosing to separate. People who cannot imagine that what someone else is experiencing could relate to them because that would make them flawed in a way which breaks an illusion they had of themselves. For some people maybe that’s too painful or it makes them feel obligated in some way to address something they would rather ignore.
I listen to a lot of things but I’ve also learned to tune out a lot of people’s suggestions. The world is big and everyone seems to have an answer. Sometimes they work sometimes they don’t.
Sorry but its been ringing in my head all morning that the USC kid’s entire life was a selfie. He made self-righteous videos and manifestos about how great he was and how wrong everyone else was for ignoring him. I can’t wrap my head around that. Someone who decided people owed their life to solving his problems.
Apparently he kept asking for an answer but I don’t think he ever heard anything that echoed whatever he had already decided was the answer. It didn’t matter what anyone told him because he couldn’t hear past his own thoughts.
That’s what I see everyday. People who can’t hear anything over the loud clammoring between their ears. All the beliefs they’ve held are the lens through which they approach the world and tearing down those beliefs means questioning something about how you understand reality. Whether its the world around you or your impact on your world an idea that challenges that can be empowering or destructive depending on whether a person is able to handle it.
Thinking about selfies – I can imagine an exercise with school age children – doing a project of selfies – and a whole lesson on self-love
(adults in our main culture may be too self-absorbed – and I thank this blog for getting me thinking of an opportunity)
i would really like to have more of ME ME ME attitude,actually it would be great for me (I am North Node in Aries,but my South Node conjunct Venus in Libra so if I allow myself to be more self-absorbed I DONt feel loved at all and other stuff pop up),
And I can honestly say I start to be little scared of my saturn return-
my saturn in sagittarius exactly conjunct my IC in 4th house,so we will see what happens…
Elsa, you just described my impulsive Aries Rising, Selfie-photos, FaceBook-obsessed daughter. Her narcissism and inflated ego is quite disappointing. I can only hope her first Saturn Return, in February 2017, will show her the joy of compassion and open mindedness.
quote from you “You’re an Aries and if it’s about Libra, you’re not interested. I guess you don’t realize that you’ll never understand Aries without understanding Libra.”
–that’s so true!!
my husband was just talking about the big boss at the corporation, there are signs of huge narcissim and he has pushed many people away to another company. I asked him today, let me see his photo to see if he looks super stressed (cause i wonder if it’s stress that is making him so awful to everyone) He is all smiles. lol dont know his sign but my husband was saying he sees in me like him, some similarities. but my man is nicer. oh thank goodness this is anonymous.
i meant the boss sees himself in him and everyone too i bet. (not me i never met him)