Are You Hard To Put Up With?

I told my husband, “I wrote on my blog, you’re the best man I have ever known.”

“Oh P.  I’m sure they think you’re having a honeymoon period or something,” he said.

“Yeah? “I see. Damned women doesn’t know what she’s got herself into. Do men have honeymoon periods with women?”

“No, I don’t think they do.”

“You mean they don’t meet and woman and say, this is it! This is the woman who is going to solve all my problems.”

“No, men don’t say that,” he said, snorting.

“Well do they say, thank God?  Thank God, I think I finally found a woman I may be able to stand. Maybe I can have some pussy and actually stand this woman.”

He ROAAAAAAAAARED.  “Yeah…” he said.  “That’s not totally it but there’s a lot of truth to that actually. A lot of truth.”

“I see. I am not surprised. So these women who want a man?  It seems important they realize a man is going to have to stand them.”

“Yeah, you could say that. It’s not easy either,” he said flinching slightly on purpose.

“No, I don’t imagine it is and I don’t think women realize this at all. Women just don’t realize how hard a man tries to put up with their crap but if they just keep it coming, if they ride his ass day in and day out, after awhile the pussy just isn’t worth it, is that it?”

“Yep, that’s it.”

“See, the women think it is them standing the men.”

“Yeah, I know.  You think I don’t know that, P??”

How hard is it for people to put up with you?

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Are You Hard To Put Up With? — 27 Comments

  1. boy howdy do I appreciate this one. it has the ring of truth. I used to think I was so goooood and anything I did wrong was just a blip. I’ve come to realize I’ve got some shit to atone for now and again and I’d better get to cleaning up my own mess. what a great thing to know. uncomfortable, but key.

    I don’t really know how hard it is to put up with me but I’m going to assume it’s hard and give credit where it’s due. 🙂

  2. I’m not sure how difficult I am. I am pretty sure it changes every day. I’d give myself a 4 or a 5 usually, 6 or 7 on the days I get high strung and don’t realise it before I start making people miserable, and a 2 or 3 when I’ve had a few days off or have just gotten laiiiid . .

    But then I hear I’m easy going and bubbly and optimistic all the time lately, so what do I know? Except that I’m definitely not less than a 2.

  3. I can’t answer this question, but I do not think you are having a honeymoon period re: talking about the Soldier. Or if you are, it’s well-deserved and it’s exactly what puts the pleasure in people putting up with each other in this life. If you are going to say something like “he’s the best man I’ve ever known” I believe you KNOW or you just wouldn’t say it.

  4. What about the person being afraid of what you might think of them? Or the person feeling that you were so unpredictable that they couldn’t bear to be the person to tell you what you needed to hear? Does that count for being too much to handle?

  5. WHAT?? I put up with WAYYY more crap than I could ever generate. Really and truly. I make things easier than I should, and I often wonder what I am getting out of the deal.

  6. Scary, I think were both playing ourselves. Because of what we know, what others say, what we overhear. We’re at a stalemate. Helping everyone but ourselves.

  7. Nah, I don’t think it’s a honeymoon phase. Its lasted too long to be one. You two just Love each other, and that sort of thing isn’t a phase.

    I think it depends. Some people find me hard to get along with and others find me quite lenient – it really depends on the person. There’s no way I’d put up with someone I didn’t really like because it’s just far easier being alone. And when I like someone enough to deal with the problems that come with them…well I don’t even consider it as ‘putting up with them’. It’s a privilege to be with them, and I don’t mind doing whatever it takes to get along – I soften considerably. So I’m either alone or partnered with someone I really love and respect. And I guess it’s in my chart: I either lean towards my venus/saturn or my moon/neptune/DC, with different people bringing out each.

  8. well, i thought you were in L-U-V LOVE! that what one finds ick the right person will see as cute, appealing, or even endearing.

    but yeah, i think men do put up with a lot to get laid. seen ’em do it. lmao

  9. please tell me this isn’t true! i mean, i know it’s TRUE, but not in most cases, i HOPE. people get married all the time, and although there are a lot of marriages-for-money, there have to be a fair share of love marriages where there isn’t much “putting up with”. save a healthy amount, i would hope a lot of people would get a kick or a laugh out of some of the silly things their S.O. does! rather than putting up with it!

  10. goddess,I see ’em do it too, plus I have done it myself many times.

    Not only do I understand putting up with someone because of the sex (what was that whole last story about?
    I also understand when it becomes not worth the cost.

    I wrote another piece on this once… dating a gemini / aries who looked around on dates for someone more interesting. 😉

    Then one day we got in a big fight over the people he just met at the urinal for 2 minutes who he claimed to KNOW and I couldn;t take it anymore. I think the closing line of that bit was this:

    “No sex is worth this and on that we could agree.”


  11. “well, i thought you were in L-U-V LOVE! that what one finds ick the right person will see as cute, appealing, or even endearing.”

    This is also true. The soldier has 2 ex-wives and they both hate him. I mean they just hate his ass and they always have and always did.

    I have no idea why they married him and either does he for the most part.

    That’s another thing. You may or may not know why you are marrying someone but do you know why they are marrying you? Because it is my experience that people marry for insane reasons as a matter of routine.

  12. It depends on how much time they spend with me. Living with me probably isn’t great unless you stay out of my business and am very laid back. Other than that, I’m pretty mellow.

  13. Me too Dolce. I don’t ever want to get married unless it’s foundation is built on love. It just doesn’t look very appealing to me otherwise.

    It’s pretty amazing the reasons people avoid getting married and the reasons they do get married. I imagine some folks spend more time and effort researching the kind of house/car/vacation they’re investing in than they’re partner.

  14. I think I’m actually pretty easy to put up with, so long as you can handle my indecision about stuff…Otherwise, I’d say I’m a breeze 😉 total cakewalk…

    As for men putting up w/us women, I’ve known about that for ages…there was this joke/picture that was spread around the internet a long time ago…it was a picture of this truly gorgeous woman, she’s in a bikini, on a beach, just lovely…and the writing on the bottom said something to the effect of, “somewhere out there is a man who is sick & tired of putting up w/her shit!” *snicker* funny, but true…

  15. There’s of course the “practical” side to marrying – like in an article I read by a woman who went to a sperm bank when she turned 40; she wanted a kid, and no man would do, then she decided that any man would do 🙂

    She said she observed marriage (in her friends, not what she’d always imagined) “Marriage isn’t a passion-fest; it’s more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane, and often boring nonprofit business.”

  16. huh and here I’ve had that thought my whole life. I’ll take the first guy who can actually put up with me. I know I’m not easy to put up with. Mostly because I go my own way and I’ve met many a man who saaays he wants that kind of woman but in reality wants a trophy wife – which I am most definitely not capable of being.

    (on the other hand all of my friends think I’m fun, laid-back and slightly crazy)

    So on that feeling like I have to prove I’m worth existing and knowing I’m not easy and quite different it ALWAYS occured to me that the men have to put up with a lot o trouble from the women. Maybe that’s why I have so many guy friends is that I see this and try to help them tolerate because they DO love their girlfriend/daughter/wife but somedays… somedays…

    And then I ended up with mr. I don’t care if you want to be a prostitute as long as you love me and come home to me. (not that he’d like it but that he understands I am a bit not normal)

  17. Heh. I know I’m a lot to put up with–I’m a Leo, after all–but the people who are closest to me tend to find that endearing rather than off-putting.

  18. Not very hard. I don’t judge people right away (unless their psycho, but I’m talking about your average folk). I’m quite good at putting people at ease…you can trust me. and I’m very affectionate. So, easy right? Heh.
    Just don’t try to pigeonhole me or tell me “this is what you mean/are/should do/come across as.” The rebellion reflex kicks in and I become…well, the Bull that I am really.

    Hmm. I just contradicted myself. Or maybe I didn’t?

  19. after i read your comments on the weird reasons you’ve seen people get married for, elsa, i went and asked my husband why he married me.

    “Because you’re easy,” he said without hesitation.


  20. Oh, and i think i’m pretty easy to deal with, easy going…

    Except when confronted with those who judge my choices (about job, relationship, neighborhood i live in, etc) or try to control me.

    But if we are already in each others’ lives by choice? I’m easy. Yet an introvert (remembering Luci’s thread on this topic) — don’t try to change me or judge who/how i am. I have an unaspected Uranus and a packed 11th house.

    I definitely put up with a lot of quirks and drama in others and them am surprised when they don’t hold back their judgements

  21. Im acutely aware that Im a pain in the ass. I think I could probably use some self esteem to balance that actually.

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