Are You A Lone Wolf?

lone wolfI’ve been reading this discussion in the forum about the nuclear family and loneliness.  I realized I’ve lost all desire to be a lone wolf, though I do think I wanted that life for a number of years.

This may have been due to having my progressed Venus in Virgo for a number of years. But I could also frame it as an experiment (Uranus in 7th) or even a defense!

Are you a lone wolf? Are you happy that way? What’s the astrology?

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Are You A Lone Wolf? — 42 Comments

  1. Saturn progressing through the fourth does not help. But the original factor is what only can be called darwinism. Mind you thinking about it its probably and has been for sometime where I live – its cowboy country – the wild west – and strangers who do not conform, no matter how much bad gossip is generated to force one to conform will not be tolerated or conversed with. So its bad karma.

  2. Saturn progressing through the fourth does not help. But the original factor is what only can be called darwinism. Mind you thinking about it its probably and has been for sometime where I live – its cowboy country – the wild west – and strangers who do not conform, no matter how much bad gossip is generated to force one to conform will not be tolerated or conversed with. So its bad karma.

  3. I have been a lone wolf for a long time and did not experience loneliness or allow myself to, I did what I wanted and had enough friends sometimes for me. Also I could lean on my family. Now I am suffering or that lifestyle is not enough. I’m going through my moon pluto transit and my Saturn return is ending and I’m growing tired of not doing anything about my loneliness or wondering if there isn’t a better way to live

  4. Yes definitely am, by design (Saturn on 7th House). “Happy” is not the right word i would use to describe how i feel though, Being alone it’s more like a natural state for me, everything else is compromise.

    ps: 42yo with no relationship so far, and probably never.

  5. I was a lone wolf as a child and teen, super social in my 20’s and 30’s, fell back into lone wolf gradually in 40’s due to both loss of contacts (death, divorce, moving) and new choice of work (massage therapy). Even when I returned to retail in my 50’s I did not quite regain the sociability in small workplace but supplemented with church and such. I’m quite content pursuing my own interests alone, but miss the energy of a fuller life, daily social interaction, camaraderie. Still longing for active, sociable work and to live in a “village” atmosphere.

    • I found these observations very interesting, and I think it’s becoming fairly common with single people in their 50’s. Having been partnered, and now on our own, the odds of marrying again are not a reality and we’re too old for children, if we never had them. We often seem to be looking for that village, rather than traditional arrangements of living and loving.

  6. I was! (Notice the past tense)

    I have sun in Cancer in the 11th, no matter the house system. I have a really strong need for my friends, groups, and church (11th) to be like family (Cancer) but my sun is also unaspected so I tend to feel a sense of being on the outside looking in no matter what group I’m in or family function I’m attending though people insist that I am very sociable. Now add a Uranus in the 4th (black sheep of the fam) square Ascendant and Saturn in 1st square Venus in 10th (loneliness, sense of stiff awkwardness in public) and you got all the makings of a lone wolf. ?

    The good thing is I’ve become cognizant of my own sort of self-imposed exile and even how I come across (a bit intimidating at times) the only way I can break down my own walls is to be real with people. No matter how polite or uncomfortable it is for me and maybe even them. And when I’m raw and real, then they have permission to let their guard down. It makes for honest bonding versus superficial niceties. Trust me when I say I also had to fight like hell against my Pluto in 3rd square Mercury to lay my cards out on the table. My friends appreciate that!! And if they don’t, I’m sorry for them. ?

    As for Uranus in the 4th, I can’t fix that family issue. They don’t want to be part of my life. That’s why I say I lean on my friends and church and community. ?

    • “…on the outside looking in…” Yes, as an only child I grew up longing to be part of the world inside all those lovely houses with glowing windows I passed by each evening. Still do, even when I’ve had my own glowing windows…
      Empty 11th house ruled by Saggitarius, with natal Gem Jupiter in 5th (or 6th), opposed by Cap Mars in 12th and square Aries Merc in 3rd.

      • Actually, I think this wistfulness is due to my Libra Neptune in 9th opposing my Aries Sun — illusions of what’s inside due to a mind shaped by fiction. Rarely has the reality inside lived up to expectations when I’ve crossed the threshold…

  7. I wonder what are the downsides of being a lone wolf or a pack rat. Obviously loneliness has serious down sides as far as health.

    I think my lone wolf thing had complex causes, partly self protective so I wouldn’t be ejected from the group, partly so I could do what I wanted to do. Maybe it’s selfish to be a lone wolf? (In some cases where you do it to do what you want to do all the time.)

    I used to eat lunch alone and I experienced an improvement in my health and mood when I ate lunch with my friend every day. I also, ahem, digested food better and had less stomach issues.

    • I don’t think being a lone wolf and being lonely are the same thing. I have heard some people say they are loneliest when with others. ????

  8. Like, my first reaction would be defensive, ‘What’s wrong with being a lone wolf, youd rather I’d be a conformist, one of the norms?’

    I felt similarly defensive when a bartender got quizzical about why I was doing thanksgiving alone and not even with friends. Because my friends don’t really throw dinner parties? Because they’re with their families? Because I was hoping to enjoy my day off just hanging out and walking around? People frequently question my motives for doing stuff alone or how I got places.

    But I’ve seen the benefits of hanging out with people.

  9. I have 12th house moon conjunct saturn so I like to (sometimes have to) withdraw to my inner fortress, in order to rebalance, especially when drained or saturated with ‘toxic’ energy. The conjucntion is in aries so there’s an element of selfishness too. It’s blissful to withdraw and contemplation in the pisces pool of the 12th house is revitalising and refreshing. I’m the only foreigner from my country living in this area so that also adds to my lone wolf situation. I do make an effort and work hard to gain trust but the lone wolf is a real part of who I am, it’s necessity and survival.

  10. No, though I do have a 12th house Sun & Venus and enjoy ‘down’/alone time. But, I also have Mercury & Mars in my 1st conjunct my ASC, so I like to get out there (enjoy the adventure). Plus my 6th house cappy Moon/Jupiter lives to serve and you gotta have others if you’re going to ‘serve’ in some way. So it may be a quieter than most kind of life, but I’m not a loner. Though there are days/times that I consider it,
    Angie

  11. I’m pretty much a lone wolf but not because I want to be. I have Pluto/Saturn H3 opp. Venus H9. I want more than anything in this world to be surrounded by family and friends, but here I am living 700 miles away from them. I don’t know why. Must be a fear I can’t get ahold of…something buried deep. My family aren’t bad people or anything. I talk to them regularly. My moon in Pisces rules my 12th house; On some level I must like seclusion. I feel safe and secure where I am, but not fulfilled. Do we ever feel fulfilled? I have my NN in the 11th house- I doubt I’ll always live this way. I just feel like there’s not enough time.

  12. Pluto opposed Pisces Moon, zero degree orb and tightest aspect. I have read this is a “lone wolf”. My mother and sister had to be surrounded by friends and relationships. My mother used to call me a loner and was very puzzled by it. I am definitely a lone wolf, but having a wonderful, caring boyfriend who accepts me and gives me my space really helps my self esteem issues. I would call myself a control freak, being a lone wolf helps me maintain a sense of control in my life.

  13. What great, interesting posts, I feel like we’re lone wolves ‘together’, I feel comfort knowing there are others out there who feel and live in the same way. Thanks to all for sharing, I feel so close in our separateness. This is really moving – my vesta conjuncts my 12th moon saturn conjunction so there’s even a sense of devotion to the solitude.

  14. Lone wolf but I prefer Chupacabra. Chupacabra is my spirit animal. 🙂 Aquarius with Uranus trining Venus and sun. I spent Thanksgiving with my Scorpio boyfriend at his sister’s. Best Thanksgiving ever. I wasn’t related to anyone. No one from my family attended my second wedding. I see my mom crying shallow tears at my funeral. No one really knows me or gives a fuck. I tried to break up with my boyfriend again today, told him I should be alone. I’m glad he won’t let me go. ¤☆¤

  15. My name is Hulala, and I’m a lone wolf. Yes, admitting it to myself for the first time in a public forum is a hard for me. I love people, and want to bring everyone together Norman Rockwell style, but somehow I’ve managed to alienate most people I know. I have Neptune square Uranus which is irreconcilably in conflict anyway and then there’s a retrograde North Node and retrograde Chiron in Capricorn’s 10th house which has me working for solitude and personal integrity in the area of life dealing with career, social stature and destiny. I guess I’m moving toward being a Baba Yaga and living in the deep, dark forest..lol

  16. God/ the Universe has sort of *forced* me to be a lone wolf. I’ve learned to do that, however… time and age (Saturn) and life experience have taught me how to be alone and okay with it. My life/ karmic lessons have been, and are, very strongly focused on self-sufficiency, both emotional and financial. I have a really strong emphasis on Saturn in my natal chart (8th house Aquarius, conjunct South Node, with Capricorn on the 8th house cusp), + Pluto/Sun/BML in the 4th house. My Pluto is also very closely conjunct the IC. I also have North Node 2nd house/Leo. Neither the family nor the collective has ever felt like an emotionally “safe” place for me… Now, in middle-age, I still have to be careful about my associations with people, however. I struggle with the North Node stuff, still, re. the balance of standing in my own Light and shining on my own, being warm and engaged with people, without giving away too much of myself to others, or depending on them too much. With Moon conjunct Venus in Scorpio/6th, though, there’s a conflicting need to be a good listener and be emotionally supportive when people share their deepest, darkest hearts with me … it’s taken me a long time to learn that I can do this without rushing in to fix their problems for them, without taking their consequences onto myself. I’m learning that I don’t have to become “attached” to the outcomes of other peoples’ problems and decisions, even if they are family.

    • Oh someone else, who holds other people’s secrets. ‘I haven’t told anyone else this’ etc etc. I can relate to learning to keep it in balance. Not letting all that stuff erode me to the point of non function. Good to revisit. Thanks for the write. Has to be some space for me. I was reading some stuff about scorpio and not being able to let go now that my NN is in scorpio. I can still have insight, it’s a valuable tool, but I want to live lighter. Let it go so I don’t get overloaded.

  17. Somewhat I guess. But I know where my pack is. We call out and howl together. Progressed venus is in virgo now. There is just alot of work to do that was not taken care of when progressed venus was in leo. It took me by surprise but I like it. I respect it more now that venus will be progressing to libra. I read something about my saturn square pluto aspect and becoming myself. Or else it seems like. : D Like that is the journey that shall be, come hell or high water. It’s that soul thing.

  18. I think enjoying lone wolfness is a Uranus thing and doing it because it’s forced on you is a Saturn or Neptune thing. And doing it to recharge your batteries is a 12th house thing.

  19. I always thought it was ‘cool’ and conformity was ‘stupid’ until very recently. So many of you seem not to like it. But again I am pretty certain that other people bring certain gifts and over time it is unhealthy.

  20. When Pluto moved into my 12th house recently, I discovered I was having a lot of pleasure being on my own. I’m a Gemini Sun and this means a huge departure from my usual “me”. I’m discovering the abundance of the universe I have within and my consciousness seems to be expanding by leaps and bounds just by quietly observing life.

  21. Ah, the venus progressions. It is making sense in looking back at life. Born water venus with early on progression to fire venus in leo. That was all about the performing arts for me. I was just thinking about that last week. What the heck was that energy about. Turn those spotlights on and I was on fire. And then a switch was flipped and I was spending all my spare time at the ocean, climbing rocks, hiking the mountains and desert. Planted a garden on the balcony. And then the call came and I bought a house and started gardening and canning. Got certified as a naturalist, got degreed as a natural resource tech. That is venus in virgo for me. I have no clue what venus in libra will be, but that I could do with less static in the social realm. It’s interesting to me that in my life time I will have experienced water, fire, earth, and air venus. The Venus chapters. All very different.

    • Mayhaps uranus has played a part in the strident changes too. Venus conj uranus in early leo, venus semisextile uranus in virgo, and moving to the venus sextile uranus in libra.

  22. Natal sun & Venus in the 12th H meant that I felt more at ease on my own. However, with Saturn currently transiting 11th House, I definitely need to socialize and have joined a couple of Meetup groups, etc. I need a healthy mix of me time, family time & socializing…lol

  23. I seem to be able to do it either way. Life changes, sometimes we go it on our own, other times we’re all together, whether “together” means your blood kin or others whom we consider as family. Uranus is transiting my 7th, and has been. I can’t say much about Venus in Virgo, because my natal Venus is 0′ Libra, so she belongs in Libra. Progressed Venus is in Libra. I have no answer, other than that I can do both. I don’t feel deserted, and have always been able to enjoy time alone thanks to being creative – sometimes we need space alone. I don’t know why, but I’ve never felt alone (unless a machine breaks down!) I take some of that back! Sometimes I have felt more alone with my own family…so, they’re not really the pack, are they? Back in the day, friends at school would say, “I can’t believe that’s your family! I expected something different!” Me too. I have too many other people who consider me as their own. This is the best thing that has happened to me in my life. I’m going to take it as a gift, and no one can take that away from me.

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