Are Cancers really Crybabies?

snarling child

You think I’M gonna CRY?

One of the most common zodiac stereotypes you’ll hear is that Cancers cry all the time. From beginner’s books to memes to hushed conversations between friends, everyone seems convinced that Cancer is all weeping all the time. Being a noted lover of the sign, I feel compelled to dispel the myth!

Cancer is far from a crybaby. It’s true that they are a deeply sensitive, emotional sign. But their hurt feelings are far more likely to result in a still upper lip and an element of machismo for many men, a silent look of reproach for many women. Being raised by a Cancer father, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen him cry. And many Cancers never cry at all. There are two primary reasons for this.

First, Cancer is Cardinal water. Cardinal signs are the tip of the spear, moving forward in any way necessary. Water is of course associated with emotionality. Cancer, then, has an innate understanding of emotions as a tool, even a weapon. And they’re not about to waste their advantage with a crying fit. They have far too much interest in control for that, both of themselves and of the situations they’re in. They’re not going to tip their hand.

The other reason is that Cancers are self-protective. Just like the crab for which they’re named, Cancers have a protective shell into which they retreat at the first sign of danger. In fact, the best way to know that you’ve hurt this sign is when they shut down entirely. They retreat, lick their wounds, and strategize. And the only way to stop this process is to acknowledge their feelings (even if they won’t) and offer a sincere apology.

So while it can’t be denied that Cancer is an emotional sign, it’s not fair to equate that with crying or tantrums. Instead, Cancer withdraws and finds a way to use their pain as a weapon. So the next time you hear someone call Cancer a crybaby, why not shut down and give then a good glare instead?

Consult with Midara.

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Midara

About Midara

Midara has been a consulting astrologer for over a decade. Whether you’re struggling with relationships, personal growth, tough transits, or whatever else, she’s here to help.

Comments

Are Cancers really Crybabies? — 40 Comments

  1. This is a sign not often posted about because it seems so boring I guess. What’s more boring than someone’s mother :p
    However, I’ve understood the ones I’ve come in contact with. They were communicative, they did pout and not take criticism well, but they didn’t go silent. I have a lot more trouble with air (non Gemini) and Scorpio moons hiding and demanding that you guess their emotions. One thing I think little noted about cancers and moons is how confessional they are.. how they do talk about their daily life and feelings. They are a bit quotidian and mumblecore even. Some of the singer songwriters I like have cancer suns and moons and you don’t have to guess what they’re writing about. Liz Phair, Mal Blum, Lou Barlow (magnets coil and total peace used to be favorites if you want to hear what an intimate and self protective inner world sounds like) and J Mascis, still woozy, list goes on. My Neptune transit is changing my music taste to stuff that is a bit less raw and emotionally direct. But cancerians can often be that. Also talking about th

  2. My own cancer planet has caused me issues. I notice myself protecting myself from things I shouldn’t. And protecting the small and vulnerable, but not those who seem unlikely to benefit from it like underdogs who a pisces would stand for.. I protect myself from life a lot. From contagion, from old people. It’s something I have to rethink in myself. I have an us and them mindset by nature when I go into situations. Not exactly share and care alike, but protect your ones.

  3. I worked on a farm for a cancerian man. He had some kind of issue with what I was doing and wanted me to read his mind about how to do things. His household was strangely run. He was married but hit on my 20 year old colleague and reduced me to tears but was taciturn. I registered some stubbornness and genius in him, but it was hard to be around him

  4. I am surrounded by Cancer men.

    None of them are crybabies. They are all the epitome of
    wise compassion. Compassion is the higher octave of love.

  5. Cancer Sun, with Aquarius Moon here.
    I do cry, not shy at all about that.
    Do i cry all the time, day, week, month? No! Well while watching movies, YES!!!
    To anyone? NO! But i do complain a lot… Virgo rising.

    Cancer, as water can be an ICE ROCK.

    • My 24 year old son is Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon. He was a love as a child, now… cold as ice. He walled himself in after his first love hurt him… I watched him build that wall, telling him that he cannot stop love or pain, but he continued… cancer anger is fierce and terrible, I fear it more than Scorpio or Aries anger, that’s for sure!!

  6. Good grief, my cancer moon feels everything. After getting over suffering the slings and arrows in silence and getting to ‘I ain’t goin there’ it has been my radar-ous gift. It is entwined with my auditory senses. A reliable gauge when I don’t let the words get in the way. I was never allowed to cry. Cry and I’ll give you something worth crying over.

    My parents were both Cancer Suns. Jeez what they went thru in their lives. There were not tears. I saw my Mother cry twice, once when her mother died and again when JFK was killed. But I did not like to push her too far. She would grudge up in a frightful looking way for way too long. If something bothered my dad, he would just bellow and silence the place.

    My cancer moon is hidden in my natal 8th house. I don’t get to have feelings. No one can see them. So, like in my relationships I would try to explain my feelings till I turned blue in the face, but they still would not get it. When I express my feelings, people tend to shrug their shoulders, like what was that? No reveal or understanding for that eighth house moon of mine.

    I would think cry baby fits capricorn more. You know because things are supposed to be like this or like that. Whine whine whine when they are not. Probably on my mind cuz one of my work mates just did it again a bit ago. She’s very capricorny. ‘Because that’s how it’s always done. That’s the rule.’ I laughed at her and called her the friday evening comedic entertainment. Cuz the way it’s supposed to be done does not work.

    • I vote pisces is the biggest cryer. Or people with Neptune aspects.

      I’m sorry you don’t have people to hear and understand how you feel. Often the feelings run so deep and people don’t know what to do with it.

      During my moon Pluto transit I turned to podcasts and music to be understood and validated

      • Don’t cry for me Argentina. I am of the mind, that my setup is my setup and it is mine to deal with and make the best of my fate. I really would not have it any differently. Make the best of the assets I have.

        And I see why you might say Pisces. I am not aware of any Pisces moons but supposedly pisces can get trapped in victimization. And if expressed out loud in lamentation that could be considered cry baby I suppose. And, of course, it often victimizers that accuse their victims of being cry babies.

        The biggest cry baby I ever knew was a scorpio moon. Ye gads. And he is revengeful to boot. Poor poor him, he should have it his way all the time and if not, he takes revenge. Revenge to me is a cry baby thing too. I guess he cried to get his way as a child and it worked so he continues. His wife uses it, feeds it, so she can be his saviour. Weird relationship.

        • Ok notch 🙂 we’re obviously here to listen as much as we can 🙂

          Hehehe I think my friends with pisces moons don’t know how to explain or talk about their feelings.. maybe they hole up and listen to music.. they don’t communicate often.. my friend with this tendency has her mercury quincunx Uranus/Neptune

          I do know cancer moons who eat their feelings and don’t talk about them, but their sun quincunxes it

        • I am Cancer Sun and I cry a LOT. My Cancerian daughter’s birthday is the day after mine and she cries a LOT. When my mom recently passed away my daughter rang me and we cried together. No words. Perfect understanding…

          And- we both appear rather tough and detached to others. I’ve seen that in all sorts of Cancerians – tough outer shell- mush inside!

  7. Midara, Midara, Midara, you got me moon drunk. I am so thankful for my cancer moon. It is in exact sextile to Jupiter. I am fortunate in that way. Feeling what I have felt, caring the way I have cared, having enough compassion to make it through the difficult missions. If caring made me a cry baby so be it. If feeling pain at other’s suffering makes me a cry baby so be it. It can be too much to bear so I do protect myself somewhat from too much exposure to it any more. I think it is a good moon to grow with. Being overly sensitive to the horrible things humans can do to each other was(is) never easy to feel. But it is part of the human condition. It is good to feel but it is not necessary to emote it. And to act on emotion, not so good, when it involves a gun or kneeling on a neck just because you can.

  8. As a Cancer Sun/Moon/Mercury, of course I am drawn to this post. It’s on target. You will never see me cry if you hurt me. But when someone says something really kind, or when I hear moving song lyrics, and so forth, I will cry without any shame. I think it’s gorgeous to be moved by love and beauty like that. If that makes me a crybaby I am okay with it. But I don’t bawl my eyes out, just to be clear!! 😄

    As for the shutting down and retreating….*bows head in shame* This is something I would like to never do again because I think it’s awful but the potential fit I might throw would be a million times worse, trust me. I wish I could think better on my feet and get a handle on my emotions enough to express them without losing control. I feel hurts way too deeply; I just need a little time to think and gather myself. A little time could be forever though, I admit.

    • By golly Dolce, you have got it. Tears of joy, happy tears, sublime happiness. Higher love. I get it. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

      And too, I understand the disruption of the fit throwing, the hangover from that sucks. Not worth it, why go there. Please do not chastise yourself for taking the time to take responsibility for your feelings and process them. There is no shame in that. Just making way for more joy to come in.

  9. I’ve always been puzzled by the prevailing view of Cancers being crybabies. My Cancer friends are all very feminine, but tough as nails. With my Sun, Moon, Venus, and MC in Cancer, by all rights I should be a blubbering mess. We Cancers are incredibly attuned to emotion (Yours) and use it to our advantage. It is our superpower.

  10. I don’t know that I still related to the juxtaposition of crybaby and stoic and tough. Could be because I have a fair mix of planets. Certainly I can be a baby, as a kid I would say ‘you’re hurting my feelings’ all the time. I don’t catch myself manipulating others emotions. I think the image of a mother is tough, if her children are in danger, she’ll do what’s necessary.

  11. I see them as vulnerable but also very tenacious. They are a cardinal sign too. They don’t seem to cry (often) but they are perfecting the art of silent treatment. They also really care. Cutie patooties on certain days 😛

  12. Agree completely. Not least because I am at a loss as to how any sane intelligent person could hold such shallow narrow views about another human being.

  13. Cancer Sun/Mercury/Venus in 8th house. I’m not going to cry in front of anyone, only alone when no one will see me, and if I do cry, people closest to me know that it’s enough for me, meaning, I’m broken in that moment. Since I was born, even my mother was always telling me how Cancers are overly sensitive, cry babies, how I’m too emotional, too easy to hurt, and so on. For other people, it’s always imperative on “too something”. People see me too intensive, and with 8th house ruling my chart, my Mars and Saturn in Scorpio 12th house, ASC in Scorpio, I’m water, and of course, I’m too much for others because they can’t understand that amount of feeling even if I don’t express it, others can feel that intensity. I’m deeply aware of it, I understand they are even afraid of it, because, it’s a piece of good advice not to make one Cancer hurt or even angry. It’s not easy to be a Cancer, but being one, helped me go through some of the hardest life decisions and situations, where you have to endure feelings and still keep going on, brave and strong.

  14. My BF is a cancer and he cries!
    A lot sometimes!

    When he is deeply hurt by past actions by others, when he is at a funeral, when I spill my feelings out for him.

    He is a cancer sun on 1 degree of his DC. Capricorn Ascendant.
    I don’t know if it’s the Sun on the descendant or the Ascendant in Cap, but I am never in doubt of what he feels. I do so like it very much, and my finest job is to comfort him, make his favourite food and let him vent about his feelings. He is so compassionate and sensitive.
    If that makes him a crybaby I have zero f*cks to give. He is also one of the most masculine and protective men I have encountered ever. It’s in his whole demeanor, his whole essence
    He is a protector, a starting my rational man with a bit old fashion around the edges. He loves me in fluffy pink dresses, and he watches hardcore action movies with broad shoulders heroes. His own shoulders can easily compare to those of Will Smith & Co.
    He sails viking ships as a hobby and he loves to swim. Swimming looks good on him as well 😁
    He is an enigma but you are not in doubt when he sees something he like. Then he stops his annoying sidewalk and go after it.

    Yes, it DOES make them a bit more clingy, a bit less independent (he has a Libra Moon like I do,so at least we get each other’s dependencies LOL) – but overall, I wouldn’t trade him for anything or anyone. For a cancer, feelings are the only way to be, breathe, go, do…. so, for a 4 x Scorpio lady he is the perfect combination 😍

    …You get it now, don’t you? 😉

  15. Shiny Taurus and I had a Cancer roommate. Don’t remember her crying often, but I cried on her shoulder once when I was out of work and terrified about how it could affect all of us. (I have Mars and Jupiter in Cancer, so part-time crybaby here).
    ST had Venus and Saturn in Cancer. If someone hurt his feelings or was outright mean to him, he expressed his anger and hurt either by going silent, or crying. He had a huge heart, though, and cried over others’ suffering as well.

  16. What about the question of home? Doesn’t a cancer need to leave the family home, cut off the umbilical cord, and make their own definition of home? Aka build their own home and self nurture?

    Is the family home the true home? Who really sleeps in their childhood bed when they’re an adult? Don’t you replicate a sense of nesting and home and choose the ‘castle” you’re a king of? Drop out of the nest? Or is a woman only a daughter mother then daughter and wife? Is a woman really given away?

    Can a cancer ever behave like a Sagittarius?

    • I never had a problem leaving home. My Cancer Moon is in the 3rd house sextiling Jupiter. I lived the peripatetic life for a while and I miss it, in fact, but now I have children to provide stability for and that’s that! 🙂

      • Did you ever feel guilty not being around your mom at the time?

        Do you think that women with placements like this get to create the home they want whenever they want it?

        Do you have any other like 9th house or sag placements?

        • I live near her now. Honestly I have a very strained relationship with my parents but my mother loves me deeply. It’s my father who is the problem. He hates me more than he loves me. I saw them yesterday and cut it short. I came home to cry (he won’t ever see that, screw him). Home is not my parents. I wish it were. I was not safe as a child. Physically yes, but otherwise no. Sometimes I have guilt for her, she is also a Cancer. But I can’t be around her husband sometimes.

          I don’t have anything in my 9th, and Sag. Neptune opposes my Gemini Venus, both square Saturn. That’s the extent of it. I really base this all on my 3rd house moon sextile Jupiter because I still have this boundless optimism and restlessness that I honestly rely on, with some very heavy aspects trying to drag me down. I find travel and exploration and relocating so unbelievably freeing, it is necessary for my happiness sometimes.

  17. I’ve known a few Cancer men…

    One was associated with the Philly mob. So not a crybaby. He was my uncle. Tough as nails, but my God was he sensitive to my aunt, all of us nieces and nephews, and his dogs. He had no children of his own but his step children looked at him as their father. I miss him a lot. When he died, that was the only time I craved a strong drink in my life.

    Another was my ex I dated for 4 years. He was a sensitive type, lost in poetry and other writing. Very conservative and somewhat grumpy. If he got mad, I often didn’t even know why, and he would disappear. It was annoying so I get how aggravating that can be. Once we both retreated at the same time and had a silent treatment stand off that lasted for 4 days LOL. I finally broke the silence because we lived together and it was honestly stupid. He was relieved 😂 But no crying 😉

    Last, a Cancer friend of my husband’s who pulled the silent treatment/retreat thing on my husband. It usually works for him, but he ran up against my husband’s Sun-Mercury-Saturn-Jupiter in Virgo stellium in the 10th house combined with a Scorpio Mars and 8th house Leo Moon. I think they might be over. It makes me sad tbh. I liked that Cancer friend and his girlfriend too. I saw him cry once, and it was when he told us something very personal that had happened to him. He is a very emotional man.

    • I’ve never done a relationship with a Cancer man. But I find them interesting. Steady strong but with an inner spark that I find charming. Cancer men seem to wear their feminine sign well.

    • Cancers are naturaly emotional. We can’t help but share our feelings to our significant other. We become so artistic partly to share our emotions/feelings, without making it too obvious. I have started drawing, writing songs, writing a novel, and singing how I feel at that moment, just to stop bottling up. Us cancers care a lot about our significant others. When you have a friend that’s a cancer, remember not to do anything vain. We don’t forget.

  18. I don’t know.. I can’t relate to the crybaby thing.. I am oversensitive and an oversharer.. TMI is often something I do because my desire for reassurance is too great.. Lena dunham is like this…

  19. Well, not sure about the crying but as the mother and wife of Cancers I assure you…THEY CAN REALLY WHINE! But they’re so beautiful, talented and loveable I can’t hold it against them…mostly.

  20. Commercial by Peaer always reminds me of the cancerian attitude.

    “I was low on what I need to not live in constant agony in this world that wants to kill me in a million different tiny ways.

    You seem like you might have a way to escape the constant endless pain without being here every ninety days and what goes up, well it must come down, I never thought that meant all around us.

    I just want my loved ones to be safe
    From the rising waves, the fires blaze,
    the horrors that I see all day. What speeds up will not slow down, I hope it happens while I’m still around.”

  21. I think another feature of the sign is it’s just as sensitive to rejection as Capricorn and does a lot of shutting down to protect itself from rejection

  22. This is all so true. I’m a cancer, and I have been so confused on why people think that we’re crybabies. We just bottle up our emotions so much, that one small thing can tip us off. People think that we are “Masters of Manipulation”, but as far as I’m concerned, I haven’t ever tried to maniputlate anybody. Us cancers don’t like to share our emotions because we do not want to be called a “Crybaby”. I have put a fake smile on my face because I bottle my emotions. That doesn’t make me a crybaby, does it? I know the struggles of being a cancer. I know the judgement that you can get from being one. On social media, people keep posting crap about cancers. Some people say that we are clingy. Not all cancers are clingy. These people don’t understand what a cancer goes through to get through the hard times. We don’t share our real emotions, because we don’t trust if you can’t show that you trust us. We tend to hold on to loved people or items, because we are afraid of letting go of the past. One reason that we become artistic, is because that is one of the only ways of sharing how we feel without making it obvious.

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