Are Behavioral Patterns & Instincts Fixed?

I’m going to say yes, I agree with this writing that people generally don’t change…for today!

You know how mutable I can be!

I try to forgive but not forget. I’m pretty good at the not forgetting part.

I was drawn to astrology because I couldn’t change some things about myself I didn’t like, I couldn’t let go of behavior I knew wasn’t serving me. Being a control freak (my son pointed that out to me, at which point, for the first time in my life, I actually hit my son, and for the record, he was 24 years old, 6 foot 2 and 210 lb, so I was like a mosquito to him), it wasn’t acceptable that I had no control over “me” (whatever the hell that means), so I set about finding a way to get control. I began studying my horoscope.

I was absolutely astonished to find that it explained everything, and I mean everything, about me to me. I have a very, very unusual horoscope because the day I was born it was a very, very rare alignment of planets. All of the planets except the three outermost, and the Moon, were crunched into the sign of Aquarius (tropical, or Capricorn, in Vedic), all within a 17 degree span, in my 7th house (tropical), or 8th house (Vedic). I call it the stellium from hellium. It (the challenging aspects of the stellium and lack of easier, more flowing aspects between planets) did get worse though, as the moon joined the other planets and the South node on February 4th 1962. I was born January 31st and I suppose I got lucky. I’ve read articles that indicate the stellium in Aquarius, (the authors of the articles I was reading must have used the tropical system), the week I was born either ushered in the age of Aquarius which is all about humanity and brotherhood and stuff, or the Antichrist was born. I can’t think of two more opposing possibilities. I think I got in on the Aquarius side cuz I care more about humanity and brotherhood and stuff, and I care about crushing the energy that might be considered Antichrist or the opposite of reaching a Christlike state of mind. There is humanity in me; and that’s what I like.

It’s everything else about me, something that since birth — literally — makes people distance themselves from me. I couldn’t understand why, and wanted to change that.

I’ve always been a loner, as long as I can remember, and yet at the same time I wanted nothing more benefit in, to be liked, to be accepted as part of society, or my peer group as the case may be. But I couldn’t even handle Girl Scouts. I don’t like groups, or group mindsets more accurately. I don’t like it when people let go of their own personal beliefs and except those of a group because you usually is accompanied by an absence a presence of mind. What I mean is, in groups, people give up their personal power and choose to follow a leader, and God only knows who that leader is or where that leader might have come from. Doesn’t seem to matter to the human being however, what’s enamored another human being will follow whatever is leading it even if it is leading it to its own Doom.

If you look at my birth chart, there’s only one planet that doesn’t have any red lines drawn to it and that’s the Moon. The Moon was all trined and sextiled out, the rest of the chart is red, squares and oppositions and conjunctions, of my moon was not to save me, because the Moon was in Scorpio, in the nakshatra of Jyeshta, a most debilitated state.

I mentioned it to the South node was part of the stellium, and the stellium is in my 7th house (tropical). That puts the North node in the first house. Just at a glance oh, and being completely unfamiliar with astrology oh, I could see that it appeared that my destiny was to run towards myself and away from relationships, and soon I found that the stellium in the 7th indicated my people pleasing weakness and tendency to go ahead and go along with whatever everybody else wanted and not assert myself, as well as looking for the qualities I lacked in other people instead of myself. If I switched from tropical to Vedic, the nodal axis shifts from the 7th house first house to the 2nd and 8th house axis, and I don’t know why anybody would say that it doesn’t matter which system of astrology a person uses because it does matter. But it makes me wonder now whether we actually exhibit qualities of both, because on a second house, 8th house axis, there is of Life affected would include inheritances. South node in the 8th foretold my youngest brother stealing my inheritance I mean having to fight for it and still only getting part of it. It also shows that I won’t get any help from anyone in my whole life, I’m on my own when it comes to providing. I can only depend on me. That actually fits in with the 7th house, first house access theme of Independence vs dependence on relationships.

If I’d have realized this when I was young I would not have tortured myself. I would not have tried to change myself to please other people to fit in and be accepted as a part of society. I might have found my shadow a lot earlier in life, I might have integrated it at a time when it would have been useful. I think everybody needs to know astrology. Astrology and how to program a computer to make the computer stop trying to program you. But no school curriculum is going to empower children that way.

One last last note before I go, the eclipses have been stirring up karma for me, both in the first and 7th house, and in the second and eighth house. Right now with everything that’s going on in Capricorn, I’m feeling it, I’m feeling it big time, and I’m 58 years old. 58 + 1/2 actually. Funny, when you get old you start counting those half years like you did when you were a child. They matter all of a sudden. As I enter the sunset phase of life, I have rahu, or the North node as my dominating influence. I feel that too. It’s pulling me to do things I would never have done before. Now I just need to stay conscious of that and direct the energy two positive outcomes and not fall into feeling dissatisfied or justifying selfishness.