Last summer I met Mr. Aquarius at a party, and we had sparks right away. But soon after, I had to travel back home to a different country. He SMS’d right away telling me he liked me & wanted to be friends. We started our virtual long distance relationship & grew really close in Dec, even had daily calls with each other. I went back to see him mid of Feb and we spent a fantastic week together.
He called me when I’d returned & told me how much he enjoyed being with me & that he thinks we make a great match – BUT he’s just coming out of a 4 yr relationship with his ex & though she’s stopped calling him, her friends continue to call & ask him to go back to her in hopes of marriage.
He said that his relationship with her is over, but needs time to completely get her out of his system. I told him he needs to clarify where I stand in our relationship. He’s made it clear he’s not moving countries & yet knows that I will move to be with him.
His grandma just passed away & he said we’d talk later. It’s now 10 days and he’s not contacted me. I’ve SMS’s him 3 times over the past week letting him know he can count on me for support as a good friend in this time. Now, I’m panicking because I’m afraid he’s never going to call me back. Was I too emotional? Did I ask for too much? What should I do if he doesn’t contact me?
Please help me…
Deeply Blue Girl
No you were not too emotional and no you did not ask for too much. You were honest and you asked for what you wanted, which is inordinately healthy regardless of how another person responds.
Now I am sorry, but I do think this man is gone. I imagine he is not responding because he feels he has already told you he is gone and does not want to tell you again. And it does seem this guy is a player. I mean, he’s got you on the line, his ex-girlfriend on the line and I bet you anything he’s got (or is out looking) for a 3rd or a 4th woman he can have on the line. So I think you’re better he’s gone and hopefully he will stay that way. Because I think it’s clear there is no future for you with him, and this is not your fault!
In fact, I think you can be very proud of yourself and your handling of this relationship. You opened your heart, and you offered your love and your friendship. You acted with integrity, and you put your money where your mouth is, so how can that be bad? I don’t think it is. I think you are a good woman taken in by a not so good man, but what does that mean?
It’s means you are a good woman and he is a not so good man! So I am very sorry you had to learn this… I am sorry this happened to you, but I am even sorrier for him: a man who engages a woman in another country, flies her in for a fling, well aware she is more involved than he is and then dumps her when she gets home. Ugh. I doubt his grandma died, see? I think he’s a liar and I am very sorry. I see your Moon in Scorpio, and know this is a tremendous betrayal.
My advice? Dump his number, cry your tears and fish another line. And definitely stop contacting him…
Much love and good luck.
As a scientist, I just can’t help analysing things.
And I notice that 100% of the people who write to you have problems. That’s entirely reasonable, since this is an advice blog – helping to sort out people’s problems.
Also, 100% of the people who write to you believe in astrology. That’s an unusually high percentage and the correlation can not be ignored.
Therefore, I hypothesise that if your readers did NOT believe in astrology, they would have FEWER problems.
I hope this helps.
Dear 6000, as a scientist too – I would advise you to not confuse correlation with causation, to not assume to know things about people’s beliefs you do not know anything about, and to exercise some self-control concerning the more compulsive aspects of your critical/analytical behaviour. I’m sure Elsa would figure out the astrology for you, if your compulsive analytical behaviour is bothering you. 🙂
That’s an asinine hypothesis. Correlation does not prove causation.
Also, 100% of the people in the world have problems. Duh.
So they should move to another world! Problem solved.
I have just recently come out of a similar situation. I had history with this guy but it ended and then I moved cities. We got back in touch and a phone friendship for awhile. I went to see him and he promised me the earth and more. When I returned home, he became increasingly hard to reach. His mobile phone was constantly off and I left one message with his family asking him to ring but he never did. I decided to write him a letter three weeks ago stating very clearly how I felt and what I wanted him to do should he feel the same way. I haven’t heard anything since and boy am I glad he’s gone. What got me through it was thinking that as wonderful as he was, would I want a relationship with someone who was that unreliable? (That’s my Taurus sun talking, but you get my drift…)
Oh, Marly! LMAO! Bwah ha ha!
Poor old scientist!
Does anyone have any idea if certain signs or astrological configs. make one more naive/credulous/a sucker? When I read Elsa’s response I thought, well yes, he’s blowing her off, but I wouldn’t neccessarily think he lied about the grandmother..and I thought, uh oh, maybe I’m a dope and everyone else sees this too. I do notice I don’t ascribe anything malevolent to a lot of things other people see as such; generally I do experience people as wanting to do the right thing..but as I read this maybe I truly AM a dope….wow.
BTW AstroBarry is great Elsa, thanks!
I reacted the same way as you, Pixie Dust. I didn’t think he lied about his grandmother. I didn’t even think he was blowing her off but that he was truly in a transitional place due to his divorce. I have a Pisces Moon. I AM a dope about this kind of stuff, for sure.
Marly…I have a Pises moon, too! Now that’s interesting…..the “Dope Moon”.. 🙂
And a Virgo ascendent need to be painfully aware of my shortcomings and correct them 😉
what you’re experiencing is so TYPICAL of an AQUARIUS……They tend to be aloof..
I am a Gemini and for four years I’ve been talking to this Aqua. We are in different states and we still talk like if it is the first time….
He used to do that to me… He will not call, then he would get frustrated and call it quits. I would just call to say hi and he was hooked on me all over again..
So, I learned to deal with some of his zodiac traits.. Honestly, me being a Gemini is great. We like our space once in a while…
Let us know if he contacts you again..
Or maybe since you’re in a different country he is finding it expensive to stay in touch or even keeping the long distance relationship alive.
Dear Elsa & everyone… Thank you so so much for your support & words of encouragement, I really needed it.
Pixiedust – YES… I do feel like a dope most of the times too !
Zazzy – like ohmygoodnesss … Guess what? He did call back, his grandma had passed away, he does have financial restraints. Though I think he used it as an excuse to distance himself ..
Anyways, I did stop calling him … but he called me right back by mid of March confessing how much he misses me & wants me & treasures my friendship. All of this, when he feared that yes, I’ve actually cut him loose and let me tell you I did give him several pieces of my mind !!! Since then he’s continuously in touch with me every other day. He’s planning a trip to India so he could research opportunity for getting a PhD. He’ll get there mid April for 10 days & wants me to meet him there.
I’ve read & re-read all your comments and tried not be such a dope. Here’s what my semi-dopey brain has summarized – he’s regularly in touch & though I told him off he’s tried to be better. But, he doesn’t reference me when he talks about his future, and tells me how he doesn’t want me to miss out on any better opportunities that come my way .. i.e. he “truly wishes that I find happiness” … And pls someone tell me is it just me thinking this is a booty call for him ? Because it’s not like he can’t get that where he is, so why drag me into it ? Is it that he’s too proud to admit his feeling, wants re-assurance about my feelings first so he doesn’t end up getting hurt, or he’s just confused ? btw he’s 29 & I’m 31 .. is it an age thing ?
Deeply Blue girl
WOW…Look, like I said, I have been talking to this guy for four years now. I tell you, to be with an aquarius, you must be willing to deal with their traits. They are intelligent, insightful, but, again, they tend to distant themselves once in a while. The one I know is loyal to his friends. I guess if he is treasuring your friendship must be that he admires you or wants something from you. Lets not get aheads of our selves.
I’ll say, take it slow and expect nothing. Get to know each other. I don’t understand what you mean about booty call, like you said, he is not THERE!
However, I do think you are rushing things. Give it time to get to know each other. Age, I don’t think it’s a great deal, unless he’s mentioned anything about it. Hang in there, enjoy his friendship and see where it goes..Take care of you for now and let the water flow…