I stumbled on a guy at work one day and clearly I am attracted. He made a lot of eye contact with me for a while, until suddenly I noticed him. Before long we were talking a lot and laughing our heads off at work.
Soon we were taking lunch together a lot and he began doing things like taking me out to dinner, and grocery shopping for me. As for me, I felt completely relaxed with him and quite physically attracted. There seemed to be some energy drawing us together, energy that I still cannot fathom. He’s quite unique and very special, as I am. His thinking on some matters some might consider downright bizarre, but I just think his life path has given him a unique perspective.
We have had many conversations about social/political issues (my fav topics) and on more than one occasion have gotten into some pretty heated debates (another of my fav pastimes). At work he has come to me and just knelt down beside me at my cubicle for no special reason. So here’s the catch.
Why does he enjoy my company so very much if he has a girlfriend? I like him a lot… but I don’t need a lot crap from a guy who’s playing both sides or worse, doesn’t know what the frick he wants. Is there something deep going on between us, or is he merely playing games?
I don’t think this guy has a sinister bone in his body. I think he’s an eccentric flirt with no problem knowing what the frick he wants. He wants a girlfriend and he wants to play with you!!
And why not? The girlfriend fills one need and you fill another. You did not mention this in here, but he is 20 years younger than you. I don’t think he wants to be your man in a committed sense. I don’t think he prefers you to his girlfriend, necessarily. He just wants to play. Like a puppy! He wants you to like him, to adore him, to appreciate his oddity, his back flips, his big ol’ grin. You on the other hand have a problem with this… sort of.
You’re an Aquarius, so you have innate affinity with all weirdos, and no problem with things like age difference. However you have a Saturn contact to your Venus (relationships) and this is what is messing you up! You don’t know how to do “light fare” with a partner. You don’t know how to play. You want to define it. You want to confine it. You want to commit, and better yet you want the other to commit so you feel safe. See how this plays?
So here’s my advice:
Go ahead and define the relationship, but do it accurately. There is a younger man you work with who gives you a zing. He is not interested in giving you anymore than that. You either want the relationship in spite of these limits, or you don’t. And that, Co-Worker, is up to you.