This post is a PS to the Bridezillas post where I acknowledged I have various skittish behaviors.
My husband and I were talking over Christmas and one thing that came up was my tendency to get pissed off, (irrationally so) in certain circumstances. The main scenario that sets me off is when his schedule gets out of whack which throws my schedule out of whack.
His schedule is outside his control for the most part. It is also outside his boss’s control and most times I understand this but sometimes I DO NOT understand it and I become reactive and start yelling due frustration.
It’s not that hard to understand why. I only see my husband a few days a month, I work a lot and I really hate to work when he’s home.
I just don’t want to work when he’s here. The time is precious to me so when things go awry and I wind up with a full work schedule during the time he is home, I do get pissed off… at him, at his boss, at his boss’ boss or whoever.
Next thing you know I am yelling my head off – it’s this person’s fault, it’s that person’s fault. I also scream about the lack of consideration for my job and for my clients – all about how I have to be focused to work and you get the idea. It’s understandable but it is also insane because there is nothing anyone can do when this happens, see?
So I do that. Not always, but sometimes. I may be especially horny or something. I may have had a bad week which makes the conditions ripe, but here is the thing:
I told my husband that I agreed with him, it was irrational but he was just as irrational as I am.
“I know it is outside your control,” I said. “I know it is unfair to blame you but I am just venting. You vent all the time. How many times a day do you threaten to kill people, hmm? How many times a day do you vent..?”
What struck me is when I vent my anger, it is directed at the other – I have Mars in Libra.
When my husband vents his anger it’s got a Mars Saturn flavor, he is going crush someone, break bones, etc.
I am not sure that one is any easier to deal with than other but I am sure we both need to be able to discharge energy like this.
How do you vent your anger? Where is your Mars?
Mars in Leo (5th)… trine my Sun in Sag (9th); Ascend in Aries… just a little fire energy. At times, irrational; other times, well.
I tend to count to ten, letting other run before I start kicking ass. of course, that foot in mouth deal for Sag… does happen once in a while. oops.
Exercising and Dance are other ways of releasing and through writing in my journey. that is the safer ways.
Mars in Cancer conjunct the Ascendant (1st house). My anger is turned in on myself.
Yup. Im my own punching bag.
I vent when I’m behind the wheel and some crazy driver annoyed me but mostly that’s the only time that I truly vent.. I cry when I’m mad or sad (which annoys me sooooo much) and I generally don’t show my anger much but if I do, mostly crying and pitying myself! The crying part mostly happens when I’m alone too..
I have 9th house Pisces Mars square Neptune and conjunct Moon and Venus!
Mars in Leo, 4th… ROAR!!! I vent, yes, but try to inject some humor in amongst all of the swearing! LOL! It’s a volcanic outburst at times, but then once I’ve vented, I’m usually found purring quietly to myself.
Virgo Mars in the 12th. I tend to stew and then blow up.
I can forgive a lot of crap, like even irrational outbursts or extenuating circumstances- I’m not going to react too much to that. But if someone is purposely mean to a defenseless person or sick kids or an animal or overburdened people I go effen ballistic and yes, I do wish infinite pain and suffering on them and their loved ones.
Maybe because I offer/sacrifice myself in various ways already, I flip out when someone takes advantage– I give you an inch and you take a yard. You get my contempt, hatred and I brand you as not a nice person.
As far as venting, I think in my case instead of reacting or acting, I withdraw- withdraw my affection, material resources, opportunities I might have shared, inclusion in things you might like to be a part of.
NO PIXIE DUST FOR YOU!!!
boy Pixie I can relate. I have Mars near the 12th and I react the same way! But I had a friend move me and charge me quit a bit of money without telling me how much. I took everyone out to lunch and thought that would suffice. A week later his wife came at me that I didn’t pay her husband a dime and I owed an out of work family a ton of money. I was pissed alright. I sent them the check and will never talk to HER again. I forgive my friend as he is disabled and not always thinking clearly. That was the last straw for me as far as any friendship is involved. And I feel righteous because I paid them the damn money. So THERE!
@Sweethiez- My Mars is in Pisces too- and I’ve always been embarrassed when my anger turns on the waterworks! It’s also trine my Moon, so all my emotions get involved.
Luckily, I don’t get mad very often, but when I do I usually hibernate (Mars/4th House) at home and do my best to ‘transcend’ before showing my red puffy face in public.
By refocusing on a productive project. Or laying the groundwork for someone’s downfall, depending on how dedicated they are to destruction.
My Mars is in Capricorn.
Mars in Gemini 6th house opposite Jupiter and Uranus… if something is really bothering me I’ll just ramble off out of no where usually to an innocent bystander and expect them to agree all the way. then apologize and excuse myself.
Leo Mars… I’ll sew the costumes, you paint the barn. There’s gonna be a show.
Mars in Sag in the second. I used to have a hair trigger temper when pluto was in Sag. I have really tried hard to get it under control. I mostly cry when I am alone, conjunct neptune.
Mostly I avoid situations that make me angry. That works best.
If I do allow myself to get angry I try to be rational, but its hard to let it go and I wlll keep bringing it up to resolve the issue. If I think its worth resolving.
I have it in Libra too in the first house – I blow a gasket and then feel bad for it.
Taurus Mars conj Jupiter (fifth house) square Pluto (eighth house).
My mars is slow to anger (Taurus) but when I let it rip, it’s big (Jupiter), flamboyant (fifth house) and to the death (Pluto). Die or transform is the bottom line message (eighth house). When someone vents, at least it’s out in the open. My own venting is triggered when passive aggressive shit is served or a mealy mouthed “let’s make nice” cover up is offered when clearly, there are issues to discuss. 🙂
Mars in Cancer Rx and conjunct Saturn, in H11.
I retain real anger for so long it can consume me – I boil inside. I find it hard to vent about serious things, or even to express my anger about them – though I’ll sound off for example in the car, at dozy pedestrians, at people who jump the queue… immediate little things.
But I’ve never been someone who throws things, or tantrums; my anger is much more controlled and focussed than that
I’m a ‘freezer-outer’ too! – and if I’m really angry with someone I like everyone to know about it.
Mars in Aries–just don’t try and stop me from BEING angry, and my anger burns out quite quickly.
In other words, tell me to calm down at your peril;)
“As far as venting, I think in my case instead of reacting or acting, I withdraw- withdraw my affection, material resources, opportunities I might have shared, inclusion in things you might like to be a part of.
NO PIXIE DUST FOR YOU!”
Me too! mars in libra in the 12th. But I also do what Elsa does and react to the other. Funny I didn’t realize this in a specific context.. it happens overreactively when planets are in cancer.. major venting went on in the summer towards a business partner.. and now again I want to leave due pressure.. or get someone in to help with the load.. but to help them out. 🙂 How altruistic of me. 🙂
Inevitably when I like them again I want to work with them again.. Aries rules my 6th and 7th. 🙂
mars in pisces, rx. I do vent frustration, but like you Pixiedust, I freeze them out. I can be in a room with only a few people, and completely make someone I am angry at, invisible.
When I was in counseling I was on my way to the therapists’ to work on ‘dad’ anger – time to release. I chose to take a baseball bat to piles of dishes while I played Mozart at full blast. AMAZING, so cathartic. Anyway, on the way down hubby and I stopped for breakfast at a diner. As the waitress brought the tray of food over to the table she set it down just a little too close to the edge, and sure enough everything hit the floor. It was all surreal and slo-mo: the dishes smashing all over the floor.
Once hubby and I were driving to an appointment in separate vehicles. He was late (as usual) and drove behind me for the hour long trip. I was raging and sending it through my rear view mirror out my back window at him. The next day my rear window exploded as my van sat quietly in the parking lot at work. Won’t do that again. Scorpio with Merc in the 8th, people are terrified of me even when I speak my mind calmly.
Mars conj sun and semisq venus
Hair trigger temper (with some things such as nagging) I would rather make love than war, but most cases I vent what has irritated me then chill. BUT! I do not like unsolved issues so I might nag until they are settled. Now I have a Pisces husband so I have to wait for the time to be right with him…. to talk about the issue
Mars conjunct Moon and Mercury in Leo in the 8th. Also touches Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune.
I have been so mad I make remarks about killing that person (8th), then I sort of get disturbed at myself, lol. I also vent about bad drivers (Mercury) and things that frustrate me (Moon). I get really loud when I’m mad and can’t help it.
Mars in Virgo in the 12th–I have the same reactions as Pixie Dust but with a little something added–plotted revenge–because my mars is unfortunately tightly conjunct pluto. When a former colleague took credit for a hugely successful publishing initiative of mine, I waited a month before breaking into her work email and forwarding flirtatious/sexual emails she was sharing with an important client…to her husband and everyone else in her email address book. She quit soon after. Nobody ever suspected me as I come across as professional and reserved. Don’t mess with me or I’ll cut you.
Ooh, this is helpful, fell over this while reading Elsa’s current Mars post. Mars in Cap and semi-square Saturn. I get quiet and cold. In my mind, I get an instant and violent visual of efficient dispatch of the offender. Mars is sq my Libra moon, and it disturbs my moon no end but I’m graudally learning to let it be what it is and let it go. To handle it. If someone I love really upsets me, I completely withdraw. Very hard to express my angry emotions when I care, I feel ridiculous and they seem out of proportion; whatever the situation, which just riles me more. The only way I can express them is to tell, not to show. Calmly and in control, which disturbs people, and having been on the receiving end of it from someone similar, I can see why. It’s more unsettling to be shut out of the emotion for all sorts of reasons. I don’t rant at strangers any more. With Pluto in the 7th, I’ve learnt that is not a smart way to roll.
Mars in Libra as well.. I am just the same. I take it out on the other… and sometimes it goes further when he is stubbornly going to stand his ground and not agree with how I feel. He’s a Mar in Libra too. XD! We have scheduling conflicts too. We have two kids and one on the way. The one on the way is going to have Mars in Libra, lol. Anyway, I get so short with people. I’m a double scorpio, hate it when things aren’t under some kind of control. Like in the mornings, if I wake up to a child screaming… I am automatically tipped into b!tch mode…. if a child cries in the middle of the night, it’s totally different. If I get that morning alarm clock of a child screaming as he or she is waking up, oh man, everybody WATCH OUT! my fiance gets home from work at 4:30 in the morning, so sometimes he stays up for me… i think we’ll be making it a permanent thing, to have him take care of the kids until I wake up because I am a monster to him in the mornings otherwise.
My mars is in virgo in the 5th and aries rules the 12th house. Square neptune in the 8th. Square venus and sun. Conjunct saturn, moon. Sextile mercury and uranus. Inconjunct pluto. Getting angry for me is a complex issue)) I feel trapped like in a net every time. Except maybe when I start reading astrology stuff and learn more and more about my mars :)) and my natal chart. I have always passed as an angelic person with an all forgiving attitude. But after my saturn return had a venting spell which lasted 2 years!!! It was incredible. Still breathing out.
I have Mars in Pisces in the first house squaring my Sagittarius sun. I rage at you in my head. I might still appear friendly and open but I’ve removed you from my world and you’ll figure it out soon enough.
Hard life experience has taught me that when someone really crosses a line, there’s little point in calling them out on it in the hope they’ll change their behavior. They usually know exactly what they did, they just don’t care how it affects you. That’s why I’m a fan of the silent cutoff.