Well, I’ve been wondering about something for quite some time now. It’s about my
sexual preferences. I’m aggressive. Touchy-feely and I tend to be insatiable when it comes to sex. Plus, I’m into girls as well as men. Umm. Maybe more in to girls than in to men.
But I don’t understand why I am this way. And I can’t help feeling partially uneasy about that. I mean, I’m not saying that I dislike being aggressive, kinky, extremely sensitive and very passionate. It’s just that I am perplexed as to what’s going on with my desire to be with mostly women. I don’t get why I look and feel about women as a man would, which makes me think that there might be something wrong with me.
I know there might be a chance I’m only overreacting as usual. Like I always do with most of the things that tend to happen or go wrong in my life. Because most of the time, the wrongs in my life happen from poor or impulsive choices that I’ve made and shouldn’t have even considered, which I do take full responsibility for. Mostly.
However, this one thing that might not be as major as I’m making it out to be is still a major issue for me. It still haunts me from time to time. And I wish I hadn’t been raised in such a strict Catholic setting as a child. With nothing but negative ideas and prejudices that stem from so-called traditional values or just ignorance. Not to forget either… birthed by a one-sided, judgmental mom who’s also a Pisces! What the bloody hell. She and I are like oil and vinegar, or night and day.
It sucks being the black sheep daughter. And eeling so out of place in my world as well as my family’s. So HELP me, Elsa! Please! Why am I like this? Is it because I’m a lesbian or because I’m all messed up?
Bugged About All This
You sound just like your chart and that’s a compliment. It means you’re very self aware. Based on your post and your chart, I imagine you are a lesbian who might want a man now and then. We’re all on a continuum, you know. And you are a fine example of this.
You have Venus and Mars conjunct in Gemini. Venus and Mars in the same sign gives a terrific interest in sex and the ability to attract same. Gemini is inherently bisexual. Further, the conjunction is in the 8th house, (sex and taboo) so what do you think you’re going to do? Exactly what you’re doing!
So here’s the problem. You have a Leo Moon which has a person feel as if they are special. Like royalty! But this is a double-edged sword because there are certain (restrictive) ways royalty should behave. And further, you have Saturn conjunct your Moon and bottom line, you care what people think!
So considering all this, there is no magic bullet. All I can really do is validate you and let you know it’s an unsolvable thing. Because you’re drawn to the taboo. PERIOD. And taboo by definition is all things that scare the collective… the same collective you would like to be respected by!
So bottom line, you’re fine the way you are. You’re a catalyst for others whether they like it not. You’re a catalyst for others whether you like it or not. So I suggest you learn to like it.
And on the religion and whatever other challenges you encounter, you have a lot of company with that, so find some tribe. A lot of lesbians read here and hopefully they’ll show up in the comments. But I say, just keep doing what you’re doing. You have Uranus rising. You are an instrument of the universe. You are a force of nature and you are supposed to shock us.