Always The Bridesmaid, Never The Bride?

It seems some are always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Others marry as teenagers and stay married (to one or more partners) throughout their lives.

Never married vs always married. These two extremes are both pretty common.Β  What do you make of it?

Is this a case of feeling the grass is greener on the other side?

Do you fall into one of these extremes?

What is your Venus / 7th house situation?Β  Are you happy with it? Satisfied?

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Always The Bridesmaid, Never The Bride? — 81 Comments

  1. I was with a Cancerian for 16 years. 6 years LAT (he didn’t want to leave his mothers house), then 10 years cohabitation. Until I fell in love with a short, dark and handsome stranger who happends to live across the globe and has commitment issues after his marriage of 22 years went bust.

    Venus in Cancer in the 2nd house.
    7th house Sagittarius

    In my 7th house the name asteroid of the man I am in love with, Scorpio at 9,33. Conjuncting at 9,44 asteroid Destiny.

  2. I was determined to partner since I was a kid, and when I got my first boyfriend at age 14 I thought I was late to the party! πŸ™‚

    I’m able to adapt to almost any type of man out there, and thought I found “The One” multiple times, but as I get older I am less interested i dating. I have a lot of love in my life and don’t see the point in monogamy unless it is a spiritual partnership first, physical/material/conventional/sexual/emotional/psychological second. I have a lot of baggage and am less willing to carry someone else’s baggage too.

    Taurus rules my 7th house with Venus in 9th house Leo on my MC trine a first house Neptune. But I’ve also got NN and Chiron in 7th house in Gemini. A Fixed Venus finds it really hard to leave relationships that aren’t working,so I am better off single and lonely than partnered and more lonely. I need mutual understanding (Gemini), not just comfort and stability (Taurus).

    Serial monogamist, often disillusioned with a long-term partner. I can trap flies with honey, but then I’d just have flies!

  3. Sun , True Node, and Jupiter in the 7th house Capricorn.
    Waiting for my prince charming…. and nothing less will do.
    But in reality, I’m too accommodating in relationships, until I’m not! Never been married and finally looking to be in a TRUE partnership, my reality glasses are finally on. I think the rose colored glasses have finally shattered. πŸ™‚

  4. Married disastrously at 17 (his sun squared mine) and divorced at 27. Never married since though there were a few live in relationships one right after my divorce and a couple in 2000-2005.

    Venus in Taurus in the 12th, Neptune in Scorpio in the 5th, and Saturn and Jupiter in Capricorn in the 7th. So marriage is to be both stifling and lucky? I need a consult so bad on love and relationships…

  5. Venus and Neptune in Scorpio 1st house ,empty 7th house in Taurus never married( asked several times wasnt right time or person(s)) and I believe I never will be at this point ( 40’s ).Wish i could say doesnt much matter ….tell that to my 11th house sun /mercury IN Libra which says grass might or might not be greener still thinking on it lol

  6. Just want 2 say most of u are fortunate in that u are either content with never having been married or u have (naturally without having 2 try). been blessed 2 find a stable, longterm soulmate. Well in my case I have saturn in capricorn in the 8th opposing my cancer moon in the 2nd house of Taurus, with an empty 7th house. In addition, I have .Gemini rising with a sun in scorpio conjunct neptune in the 6th. Not good 4 attracting solid, loyal men and I have venus in libra in the 5th very cold and empty. Never been married and Iam 50 yrs. old now

  7. In addition most of my virtues have never been met. I have had a draining and emotionally difficult family life due 2 my relationship with my mom, its getting better and por relationships with men. I have only had 4 serious relationships my whole life and a celebacy life style started @ 28 yrs. And have a had a dry sex life on and off for most of my adult life. I always attract loser type people even when Iam of upmost quality. I think its the affliction of neptune conjunct my sun and everything that equates with love, honor respect and stability I did not receive. But now that Iam more aware of what my afflictions are I use GODS WILL 2 ACCEPT & REJECT THOSE WHO ARE NOT WORTHY. In turn Iam now attracting a better quality of people into my life, but I have come 2 the decision that with so much affliction in the love and sensuality department that I will never trust 2 get married. I think life can be greener on both sides depending on moons, venuses, jupiters sextiles conjunctions and oppositions. Its very tough 2 be outgoing, friendly which Iam but it always is some cut off point for longterm stability and happiness in relationships, sometimes I just throw my hands up and keep 2 myself.

  8. I think when one has a venus,moon , or rising sign in the earth signs I think it lends itself for longterm stability and prosperity. Most of the people I know who either have a sun moon venus or rising sign strong in earth signs tend 2 attract love, money and stability without a doubt. Really without even having try it most times just come naturally 2 them.

  9. I’ve spent most of the 45+ years of my adult life single, and even during my six year marriage we spent time apart – he was an Aqua Sun! – and I felt lonely a lot of that time, lonelier than when single

    I have an empty H7 with Pisces on the cusp (empty H8 too). My juno is exactly conjunct my Jupiter and both cojunct Chiron all in Libra H2 – I revere marriage and partnership but I don’t believe it’s for me. All my Libra stuff is mashed up in numerous T-squares…

  10. interesting to read all the responses- i’ve never been married or engaged but have lived w/two men, both of which i kind of jumped into… i feel hot and cold about marriage. uranus, mars, juno, saturn in sag in the 2nd/3rd, so… that’s probably why. not to mention venus in aries in the seventh. i’m just not a conventional person. i crave close relationships but then feel smothered by them. i want to be in a nice committed relationship but then get freaked out by “forever.” I love the beginnings of relationships, get so bored when things feel stagnant. I know that these are my issues, though, and that it’s probably ME who’s being stagnant at the moment… i need to awaken my chi but perhaps i just can’t do it living out here in the country πŸ˜›

    • Hi sassyvenus
      How taurus moon supports not being married? I have tAurus moon conjunct South node and Jupiter in 3rd house..never married

  11. Hi, I have neptun and Jupiter scorpio on the 7th, and venus is retro in virgo conj pluto in 5th house plus other aspects. I’ve been married twice, each time for few years, both were not successful, in the first I was too young in the second I was too old, I have no children and I’m sad and unhappy with this.

  12. Dear Elsa
    I am in commited relationship for last 20 years. But I have never got married. I had nightmares as a child about being wed to someone, with feelings asif lthe end of the world was about to happen.
    I have Mars conjunct descendant at 5 Leo exact with loose conjunction to Saturn in 6th house 29 degrees. Mars and DSC square Uranus 3 Scorpio end of eight house and square Chiron 29 Aries 2nd House (along the placidus system)
    Uranus is a chart ruler.

  13. I attended about 10 weddings of college and high school friends, and was a bridesmaid 3 times, and I sure did feel like that – always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Capricorn on 7H cusp and Venus in 10th house. I had to work really hard on dating. Had relationships with nearly 25 men that I must justify as learning experiences. I’ve been on this site since 2009 trying to learn about life and relationships. Used your “Finding Love with Astrology” course to identify some major patterns. Can’t say I have it all figured out, but am finally engaged and will be married at age 31! Upcoming new moon in Capricorn will be in my 7th house, squaring my Venus. I supposed that would be a good day to send out “Save the Date” cards for my wedding. Upcoming steillium in Aries should also be interesting!

  14. Difficult marriage from 20-30. Many loves hence, most 3 years or less.
    At 69, chased by married man, I fell in love and spent the last 7 years thinking we would marry. Ive broken with him many times. Now finally just email to stay sane, but refuse to see him. Pluto transiting both our 5ths, obsessive love?
    Would love to meet a great guy and commit.
    My Venus Leo at 12th cusp.
    Pisces on 7th cusp.
    Mars Aries 8th cusp.
    Any thoughts?

  15. Hi Elsa

    Well, I think you have written and spoken several times about my chart situation. Venus/Mars conjunct in Cancer 12th house. Empty 7th house ruled by Uranus. 4-planet stellium in Virgo including Uranus. Saturn Rx one degree inside 8th house. Never married and am in middle age. I have always wanted to be married. Had a marriage proposal from a multi-millionaire I did not know at first Saturn Return. Said no because I did not know him (it was first date). Attract Aquarius men (all unavailable) and men who see me only as an extroverted sex bomb on he outside. They never get that far but they try. With Scorpio intercepted in my 4th house, I need a man who will stick around and be there for the deep intense poop of life..no airy crap and no deceit. Have a feeling I will get another such wacky sudden proposal at my 2nd Saturn Return. I have traveled the world, had a great career life, know who I am and like myself. And I am now really falling in love with my newly discovered paternal side of my family and they with me. I have a profound new sense of security in life. No matter what happens, I have my people and will always have love, food and shelter without having to push or struggle for it.

    So, if that happens again, I will say yes to the next wacky out-of-the-blue proposal and get married. Worse that can happen is I say I made a mistake and I get divorced. Life is messy…..

  16. Oh!! Have caught the bouquet at two of three weddings I attended and I am on my way to another wedding on January 14. Heh heh.

  17. Hah, I last posted in 2009 and literally nothing has changed. Elsa said years ago that I wasn’t living except partnered (Sun/Chiron on descendant and Venus in 7th conjunct Algol) and I forget how it got phrased after that but my chart definitely indicates that I’m not going to have a happy married life. And that’s how it’s gone. I never have prospects (or at least I don’t like anyone who has liked me and those guys were mostly really not great) and I’m too independent to wed, but if you can’t get anyone, how would you not come out independent? You have to, right?
    Some people are just not meant to have love and I am one of them. What else can you say, really? This is truly what God wants me for me: to learn to not want it. Which I have mostly done at this point except see that other thread I was whining on in December bringing this shit back up. Grrr, argh.

    • Oh girl I feel you. I rail against this supposed god, putting thoughts and wishes and dreams into people’s hearts cruelly. Venus in the 7th is the biggest bamboozle in the galaxy.

  18. Jupiter, Pluto, and Uranus in the 7th. I’ve heard that I would have several marriages but I married at 19 and it’s been over 30 years… My spouse is a Pisces and that’s where my Mars 1st house is and his Venus is in Aquarius 1st house which is my rising sign – we get each other. I understand his need to hide and he gets that I need to roam. (roam as in life experiences. ;))

  19. Pisces on Desc and Neptune as the focal point of a kite (includes Mars and Venus). Several planets in the dual signs: Gemini, Libra and Pisces. So I definitely love being in a relationship. It brings meaning and inspiration. I don’t fall in love often
    though. I have been married for 15 years.
    My Aquarius Venus needs some space though πŸ™‚

  20. Always married. First time = terrible and short-lived. Second time = still going.

    Unoccupied 7th house with 7th ruler in the 4th = the need to live with love partners & make family

    Venus conjunct Moon in Gemini and Aqua on the DC = it only works if I’m given space to breathe; thankfully, my second go around, I married somebody who has Uranus in the 1st and an air stellium, including Venus & Moon so… they respect that need because it’s 100% mutual. ?

  21. I have been married since I was 18 years old.
    To somebody.

    I am 59 married and married this time since the 90’s but it wasn’t my first rodeo. (or second)

    Stellium in the 4th. Nuff Said.

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