Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride: How About A Cure?

ugly bridesmaid dressI am quite stressed at the moment – Uranus transit to my Moon and all but I did get some very fine satisfaction today.  There is a young gal out there, some of you have something in common with her because she is always a bridesmaid, never a bride. She is the friend and the good pal of men but they never quite take her serious as anything else even though she’s cute as hell and that’s not flattery. She is cute as hell which may even be the problem, they may not take her serious?

In whatever case I told her how to handle this and she actually ::gasps:: followed my advice to the letter and now she’s in the hay.

Yep. She’s got the latest man who is not interested emailing her in a panic as she pulls away. He’s escalating and she’s cool.  I mailed her:

“Serves him right.  You told him what you were doing, now you are doing it, now you have integrity, now you are to be taken seriously, eh?”

satori has an interesting phrase for men like this, she says they play a game, “How little will you take?”

There are a lot of women who will take very, very little and some of us who tell you to come up with something real or piss off.  I think this gal is cured.  She’s feeling her power now and big surprise, it feels better than being played with awhile and then set out at the curb.

I am very proud of this woman and wonder what is going to happen now that she’s changed her life.

What are you learning with Saturn in Libra?

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Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride: How About A Cure? — 27 Comments

  1. I’m learning something similar:)

    I have been starved of attention from my partner(s) for a very long time. Basically, their life was always more important. Shoot low and you’re never disappointed. Kind of how I thought for a long time. Now I shoot very high. Why not?

  2. If I didn’t have your advice Elsa, and obviously satori’s as well as I recognize the phrase “how little will you take?” I’d be getting a hell of a lot less than I am. Nothing to lose in asking for what you want.

  3. @chrispito-

    “I have been starved of attention from my partner(s) for a very long time. Basically, their life was always more important.”

    Oh boy! can I relate.

    I believe shooting high is the answer, too. It’s something (most) of our mothers and grandmothers told us to do and I believe they were right, finally, now in my 40’s. “Hold your head up high no matter what”, I like this phrase, it makes sense.

    I know I’m willing to give alot, why shouldn’t I expect alot right back, damn it.

    I’ve always been the bridesmaid (just twice actually, but I digress), want to be the bride. Now, I have to find my groom…….

  4. Love good love news! Saturn in Libra has been teaching me more about ‘friendships’ and I’m thrilled to say that my friendship relationships have greatly improved because I’m willing open up and ‘invest’, which has been my focus for months… Thanks Saturn!

  5. Good for her! That’s a great feeling when you can say, okay, the ball’s in my court now and I’m going to keep it here for a bit just to balance everything out.

    Saturn in Libra is really enjoyable for me so far (is that oxymoronic in reference to a Saturn transit.) It’s in my third and not surprisingly, I’ve learning a whole, whole lot right here at elsaelsa.com.

  6. ha ha–my sister cancelled her wedding when another sibling said in response to the colour “nice to see you’re carrying on the tradition of ugly bridesmaid dresses.”

    (I actually loved the dresses, but…I think something else was at play;) )

  7. Learning who my friends are and are NOT! And like the young woman above…I am feeling strong enough to amputate the one that play “how little will you take?”. *raising her middle finger*

  8. Huh. On the family front, old drama landing in my mailbox, and I’m feeling rather like staying detached and taking care of myself. RAH!

    In terms of the non-existent love life, a fine catch has been moving in so he can sniff and move back out of the way, and I’m like… No harm, no foul. Not too worried about it. Got to take care of myself, or the family will turn me into carp bait. Then the fine catch wouldn’t have nothin’ to catch, anyway. Progress, in my book. I’m not even letting a soul (but you) hear about the fishing trip. Ain’t nobody’s business but my own.

  9. I’m not in the mood to make many concessions or settle in any way. For instance, there’s a guy on match.com who’s been emailing me some. I agreed to meet. He lives 20 miles away and suggested places in HIS neighborhood, and I would have to fight rush hour traffic for an hour to get there by his suggested time of 6:00. And I’m thinking, any guy who won’t even offer to meet me halfway is not the one I’m looking for. There’s not going to be a first date. 🙂

  10. What aspects play into the “how little will you take”

    It was funny to read this tonight Cause I was sitting in one of my classes earlier thinking almost exactly that…

  11. I’m learning a lot about boundaries in relationships, like my crap, the other’s crap, taking care of my own crap, letting the other take care of their crap and/or not letting the other dump their crap on me.

  12. I think that dress is rather amazing – architecturally and artfully: she stole the limelight fer sure – think again.
    As fer the rest, was a bride, at my own bidding, and Elsa came back with “you – me, Virgo/Virgo rising – should never have married” – her words still haunt me. It was ex post facto (30 years too late) so of what use. Now, I never think of loving or all that might be, I guess in a romantic sense, anymore. BTW I am still? very beautiful/skinny/sexy in case you think if I wasn’t it wouldn’t count somehow. But still as confused as since I was about 23 or so. Jest doan know nuttin anymore.

  13. I have been this way all my life, tripped up by one man – but not completely (not until I was already in a deep depression). I told him where to go, but when he came back – when I was happily moving on each time – he came back, and I fell into a comfort zone again (thanks to the depression) late last year, because he wasn’t just handing out crumbs.. until he disappeared for five weeks, and things changed. We were supposed to be on a break, a break I told him should be permanent, after my Thanksgiving was ruined by his initial nasty surprise, only to have him contact me, miserable, a couple of weeks before the big thing that upset me… that he lied about for months.

    Had I not been feeling so low in the first place, he wouldn’t have caught me by surprise; I would have stuck with the break. (I’ve now pushed him away for good.) If I were in a mood to settle, I would have accepted the crumbs he was offering this Summer. No freaking way. He pushed me too far – beyond anything I’d imagined.

  14. Del, I’ve been hearing that a lot about guys, since I’ve been perusing sites about dating that I don’t really need – just reading the supportive comments from others, how these women are doing… and a lot of men – at least, those who think they have options – seem to want the women to do most of the work. I almost said that I couldn’t believe he didn’t at least offer to meet you half-way, but sadly, I can.

  15. Neptune is in my return 7th house:)

    Fore armed is forwarned…

    I am learning a lot about boundaries, the venus RX along with Saturn is also helping sort out my values. Exactly how I feel about certain social issues and firming up my “taking back old friends who violated policy” I have decided no taking backsies. you betray me once. too bad for you

  16. I have Saturn, Jupiter, and Moon all conjunct in Libra, and I’m currently experiencing my Saturn return. However, whenever a planet passes through those particular degrees in Libra it confuses the hell of out of me because I’m never sure of what is activated, and how. But it true that in the past I have learnt to pull back, to value myself and my work, to give only when it’s deserved. And it still surprises me when they come running… in a sense it’s hard not to feel a bit of contempt when that happens. I wonder if others do as well?

  17. Elsa, Her nurturing which in turns makes it easy for others to get used to taking her for granted and not realizing what was right infront of them?

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