I was talking to my husband and Jilly about a gal who’s upset with me. It’s a story I’ve told over and over on this blog. If there is a group of people and someone needs to throw a shadow on someone, it’s going to be me.
The person is upset with me for having the exact same thoughts and feelings as every other person in the group. Rather than see their problem is universal, all the trouble is focused on me.
In reality, I am the least important person to them, which is probably another reason I’m chosen. There’s a “discardable” tag on my forehead.
I don’t like this of course. Why am I always the one under the black cloud? I realize there’s nothing I can do. It’s a band-aid of some sort the person has to have. The problem isn’t personal, it’s Elsa.
We’ve talked about projection here a lot, over the years. My husband made a remark that made me think beyond the thoughts I’ve had before. He said she was an adult, playing a kid’s game. Think about that.
Kids do all kinds of things in groups, don’t they? They bully, they shun, they blame, they project…
Then ask yourself this: are you an adult playing a kid’s game?
If so, what’s your game? Why do you do it? Are you able to stop? Do you want to stop?
*please note, this situation is offline. It has nothing to do with anyone I know online. 🙂
Yep! And though the person is leaving my immediate area she is leaving a trail of doubt and behind her and I am actively reminding myself I am just being gaslighted and to not take the bait! Of course, I have been the shadow for someone else. A woman called and asked my advice, specifically because I have experience in this area and she does not. After 45 minutes of me telling her what I saw in the situation and what she could do from her end it became clear I was not giving her the answer she called for and she was not budging. She called for verification not information and when I couldn’t oblige, I was the bad guy. Sigh
I feel like this in my family. I’m telling the truth that everybody sees but I’m the one that’s punished for saying it out loud. Someones gotta be the scapegoat though and from what I’ve read it’s usually the most honest one.
I used to be super bothered by this but when it happens now, it’s mainly a relief. The person moves from someone I know, to someone who thinks I am bad and awful. I then move them to a category of people I no longer interact with. Everyone’s happy.
If at some point they decide I am not as bad as they thought, they come back and I say, hi.
I see this as part of my life now, like it’s raining tonight. I’m really happy, we’ve had to water the garden a lot, lately. It’s a job and tonight we’re relieved of the duty.
Anyway, I think it’s a powerful idea. If you can catch yourself playing a child’s game and stop, wouldn’t that be something? Hell yes!
shadow casters, and you are hosting the venue, so you become some kind of mirror for whatever energy they are resonating. they probably can’t see this of course. and if they can’t step away from their feeling of being a victim, they’ll perpetuate the circumstances.
This used to happen to me a lot, I was often blamed and/or attacked. It happened most frequently with my in-laws and at work. The situations at work were when I was working places where I was under employed. Emotional immaturity was always a factor your husband is completely accurate about child’s games. Once I learned that I was not operating on the same maturity level as the others involved I stopped participating in these types of conversations. I didn’t stop having opinions I just learned when I was in company that could objectively accept my opinion as part of the collective and when I needed to keep my thoughts to myself. My husband is a natural and knowing when to chime in and when to stay quiet when I told him what I had figured out he said “took you long enough” LOL
Another thing to consider Elsa is that you present with confidence and when you express your opinion you present with sound reasoning as to how you arrived at that opinion. It may be that the person in question feels most like they would be successful at turning popular opinion if they were able to successfully discredit you. In other words your opinion carries the most weight. I could see that being the case
My daughter is also one of those people who others project on to – I have often wondered what aspects might suggest this in her natal chart. Do you have any thoughts on this Elsa?
Welcome, Cath. There are many ways this comes about, I’d have to see her chart in order to tell you.
I am dealing with collective shadows being thrust upon me. Kind of arse backward from what you are going through. But I think I’ve found the key so I am developing an approach to it.
I’m sorry to hear that. Sounds like my Neptune in first- that often acts as a shadow mirror. It can be pretty exhausting sometimes, being projected on-than judged and penalized for someone else’s mental garbage. I wonder of how the natal Mars placement contributes to this issue?
Maybe narcissistic people have a knee-jerk anger reflex to anyone they perceive as being not easily swayed?