I wrote this for a client. Her circumstance is fairly common. She’s an emotionally mature (not necessarily having to do with age), responsible woman, divorced with children. Is she supposed to go out there and date? Is it even worth it? What if her children are okay with it?
Often, if your kids are teenagers, they definitely want you to date so they’re not feeling they have to take care of you. Your life is about “them” right as they’re trying to establish themselves as adults.
When your kids are readying themselves to leave the nest, and you’re a single mother, it makes sense that you begin to build relationships that will sustain you when they fly the coop…which they will do! But it can be daunting to go back out there after a painful divorce.
Here’s what I wrote, which is tailored for today.
“It’s a really good question. Everything you mentioned is important to consider but I think the best answer is that if you feel lonely, you be open to a relationship. Soften your stance, as opposed to changing your tune?
You don’t want to go out there while you’re still defensive. People can smell that. Men, I mean. “This woman is mad at her ex, does not trust men.” You don’t want to put that out there.
You also don’t want to put out anything weak that might attract a predator. What I would do is concentrate on acceptance (last stage of grieving) of the loss of your marriage while you simultaneously think about opening the door to the potential of meeting someone.
Saturn Neptune is about forces greater than you straightening things out. If you reread what you wrote to me, there is a (understandable) desire to control your experience. But in real life, real love is something that shows up in it’s own time.
See if you can let go of one thing and subtly turn so you can see out the window to the potential of a happier life…”
You don’t necessarily have to get out there and HUNT. I almost think people shore themselves up so they take another beating…and then they go out there and get beaten. They expect it and it happens. But that’s not really how love comes into your life.
You’ve to have to have some kind of faith or hope, there is someone out there for you. You’ve got to leave a door open so that something good can flow your way.
I hope this helps this woman….and maybe you as well.