I’m only 19 but I am pretty sure I am a lesbian – but not totally sure. You see up until two years ago I had crushes on men, and I wanted to be with them, even the ones that many girls might not find attractive. I fancied those guys. I had dreams about girls before puberty, but that was because boys were icky.
Then puberty hit and I noticed boys. And I know I had crushes on men. Before two years ago, that is. I don’t remember feeling any different, apart from the feeling of not being in with the it crowd.
Two years ago I was in a book store and I came across the lesbian Kama Sutra. I got freaked out when I was aroused – when I realized what it could mean. Since then I have wondering whether this means I am gay. Also, I have a deep fear of being hurt by men, and I convinced myself that they would hurt me and leave me or I would hurt them eventually. So what do you think?
Are you a lesbian? I think the jury is still out on that. You are clearly attracted to women but you are the only one who can deem yourself a lesbian and there is no reason to rush to do that.
Matter of fact, you don’t have ever have to label yourself in anyway, ever. Because you are a human being first, regardless of your sexuality. So the only reason for you to ever label yourself a “lesbian” or anything else is because it empowers you. So what’s that mean?
It means you can be you. If you want to go with a woman, go with a woman. If your want to go with a man, then go with a man. If you want to go with a woman, then a woman, then another woman and then a man, do that. And at no time do you have to proclaim yourself lesbian, bisexual, heterosexual or even state that you are confused! Because what you are doing is living. You’re just living.
If you want the astrology… you have a Venus Neptune conjunction, which would suggest you could love anyone. This is why the attraction to the unattractive men, for example. So this is my advice: love whoever you want, whenever you want, however you want. And don’t bother with the name tag until and unless it serves you.