Should I Get A Divorce / Break Up With My Boyfriend? Posted on August 16, 2010 by ElsaJanuary 27, 2020 Simple criteria to help you decide… Related posts:Music: Venus and Her TastesPisces Mercury And The 12th HouseAvoiding Society and Relationships - Saturn Transit to Leo Stellium in the 8th HouseEeyore And The Dirty Nasty Job - Clean Up After Mass Suicide At Jonestown
This touches me on such a deep level that I don’t even have words to describe it. It’s brilliant. I hope I earned my diploma. But this process started when Saturn entered Libra for the first time, last year, and it ended now, when it re-entered Libra. And all of it coincided with my Saturn Return.
Thank you again, it was a brilliant video! Just amazing, and I’m a bit speechless now…
I wish I had seen this video when I was in my 20s but it’s still great insight at this stage of the game.
Yes I agree. Great advice Elsa! I like the frying pan imagery:) When a relationship or marriage “doesn’t work”
any longer we first need to take an honest look at ourselves
and make sure we’re not avoiding something by leaving. But it
always takes two to make a relationship healthy and
sometimes a lack of growth and maturity in the other can only hold your own growth back. In our day of quick fixes and instant gratification we tend to avoid anything that takes work on our part. So we need to make sure we’ve done some hard work first. I have spent a long time thinking about and discussing this very topic and have come to the conclusion that if we’ve done our part and have grown ourselves over time and learned better how to be in relation with another and
our partner refuses to do the same it Is another step in OUR
OWN GROWTH to free ourselves. It takes two:)
Yes, Kristina, it takes two. Sometimes I get very confused with all this talk of how we project everything onto everyone else. But then I go, what about someone else’s reality aka projections? I have tried til blue in the face – worse actually – and time to do the SatinLibra thang, set my boundaries, and skedaddle. No frying pans or fires for a bit either, as I don’t think those boomerang/rebound relationships any better – unless we still haven’t figured ourselves out – glommed our own ‘issues’, as Elsa says.
BTW, Elsa, you look/project absolutely gorgeous, blooming and full of life and light: Saturn in Libra (and the soldier ;?) suit you!
This is a very powerful message that a lot of us need to hear right now. I have been waiting for the One Minute videos and this one was well worth waiting for! I am doing just that…will I learn my lesson and will I graduate? Or will I turn back and decide there is more to learn and reverse everything I have been working towards? Only time and the planets that support me know for sure. Thank you Elsa!
i’m learning how important it is to set boundaries. i used to just do that by leaving. a lot more complex to build them in… tricky, new to me.
(venus neptune fog strikes again)
But, like Kristina said, is leaving ever graduating? I keep finding my dad. Woops. Found him again. What do I do now that I know this? Work it out? heal? Leave and find someone verifiably UNLIKE him? 🙂
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I’m on my way to ending the cycle! I took the initiative and broke off a relationship last week that was beginning to drain me; head-over-heels for a charismatic, complicated young man not unlike my ex-husband, this beautiful devil might have had a stronghold over me last year. Libra + maturity allowed me to see it for what it was, where it was headed, and make the cut. True to old form, I did end up second-guessing myself over the past few days so THANK YOU for posting this!!!
Like I said, Leave and Find /reFind/reFine yourself – don’t need to boomerang. Jest try bein yerself all alone fer abit. Kint yuh? Wot is it with this I gotta find sombuddy else stuff? Mebbe we should huh figrd out by now we doan need nbody else – necessarilly speakin a course. Yull find yer Buddhists – sure they’re mostly men – go long with this line o thinkin. I doan mind muhself – jest have tuh find a place where thet’s all right with anyone who’sround about the place – that’s all!
All those guys out there who are total fodder/prey to bad women! They’re great guys, and guys I like tend to fall into this category, and I think guys in general do, really… But, even if I liked a guy, and he got enough of a backbone to get out of a bad relationship to free himself up… If he hasn’t learned his lesson I would be weary about getting involved with him, because those women will take such men from other women and cause the guy to get confused and cheat, sabotaging the good for a new bad.
People prone to fall prey to bad relationships, or to be the predator… Leaving the bad relationship is great, but it isn’t enough. It doesn’t magically fix you and alter your patterns just to have recognized the one was bad. You have to learn how you get into those relationships, and why, and how and why you stay in them instead of breaking up sooner. And, no blame game, you need an honest, clear view. A victim is still to blame for their being a victim no matter how right they are that we should be on their side in the issue. (The exception to this rule being minors, who are often trapped in bad situations because it’s the very adults they’d need to turn to that are usually the abusers.)
And, honestly… I sometimes look down quite heavily on those prone to be victims in unhealthy relationships (predators, too, of course), because they bring it upon themselves by not being judgemental about other people and just letting whoever barge their way in and tell them what to do. Growing up, bad people in positions of power groomed you to that role in society. They taught you, and all of us they could really, to never judge others or call them out on their crap, etc. In at least the United States, we are all groomed to be predators and prey (and the grooming doesn’t stop after you become an adult). (Watch toddler television sometime. A second generation cousin was watching it the other day and I was appalled by the prey teaching messages it was literally trying to brain wash the viewers to have on relationships and life. f.e. One chanted, “don’t say mean things to friends,” which also means, “never say anything that will hurt them no matter how badly it needs to be said.” And, boy, you can tell which adults grew up on that crap, just like a nice chunk of my own philosophy I realized this year is from growing up on Star Trek.) You need to put fears of things like being judged back or hurting another’s feelings aside and start judging, or you will just keep blindly jumping into bad relationships.
A lot of people with these tendencies expect magic. It isn’t going to happen. Even if there really are gods, fates, angels, etc. looking out for you, they do not directly control us and our decisions, so they do not have that much power in the realm of relationships. i.e. Your god/dess could have pushed you toward a good potential partner, but it’s up to you if it actually happens or not, and up to the other person, too. So, even if you’re religious or something, you need to understand that there is no higher power that can hand you the perfect relationship. You have to learn these lessons even with an i.e. guardian angel on your shoulder.
And, to fears… Yeah, everyone single who could be your next SO has flaws… But, because everyone period has flaws. It isn’t about finding a greener pasture in the since of finding literal perfection. It’s about learning what equates to personal “perfection,” and leaving what doesn’t to find what does.
And, what does is out there, but you are going to miss precious opportunities if you are already tied up with Mr./Ms. Wrong. Remember that someone who tries to take you from another is most likely another Mr./Ms. Wrong. You have to be single before something better can happen. So, if you really suspect that your SO is just a Mr./Ms. Wrong… First off, that suspicion is most likely correct. (Most relationships are crappy shams, so most of those in this situation do in fact need to get out.) Second off, “most of those in this situation do in fact need to get out.” (Not all, most.)
And, the sooner you break up, the sooner you can move on. You have a limited life span, and need to understand that time wasted in a bad relationship is time from your entire life wasted. You’re not immortal. And, you should especially get to if you haven’t had kids yet, because fertility is even more fleeting than life itself, and it’s better for your future offspring if they have the right other parent, not just by raising, but by DNA. Further, what if your Mr./Ms. Right is stuck alone and depressed waiting for you because you’re wasting time with Mr./Ms. Wrong? For you, for your children, for your future SO… If you are wasting time in a bad relationship, get out.
If it proves you were wrong and it was the ideal partner you left… Really? Seriously? Are you sure? Because if this were true, why did the thought of leaving cross your mind? Even if it was wrong, it must not have been wrong to at least take a break. Clearly you were at least bored, or having selfish inconsiderate thoughts that needed you to learn a lesson about valuing what you’re lucky enough to have. And, maybe, just maybe… You might fall into that group Elsa has mentioned that needs time apart, breathing space. Whatever the case, it’s a lesson to be learned.
And, to Elsa, a critique. Remember to take your time to say what you need in your videos.
And, I apologize for so much in a mere blog comment, but this is one the causes I fight for.