Avatar

Please consider registering
Guest

Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

Register Lost password?
sp_TopicIcon
Dating
Avatar
Liz
Star
Limited Access
Forum Posts: 1224
Member Since:
Sunday, March 8, 2009
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
1
Wednesday, April 11, 2012 - 11:08 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print

Dating and texting.

So I went out with a leo and a gem. Just the first drink/coffee dates and we had a good time. And the conversations were interesting.

With the gem I gave him my phone # to text to meet up. We only met last night and he texted right after a lovely message about going out again sometime. I thought cool. And now he's texted again asking how my day went. surprised I have libra 12th planets and unfortunately cap is part of my merc. This is alot when we don't know each other yet. I need space. Go do something else and ask me out again in a few days. Or email so I have time to reflect and reply.

I really do want to date appropriately. I want to have some fun and when the planets align hook up with the right guy and my best friend and bob's your uncle. But this means dating.. going out with men who I like.. when they ask I accept.. testing my feelings... oh so saturn in libra.. do it over time! So what do I do? Do I text back and start a back and forth that I don't really feel yet? "But I thought you liked me you kept texting me"..

Ya this is the fear rearing it's head.

So ideas? Advice? I don't want to lie.. but I have no "reason" not to respond... I'm not out or doing meditation etc.. in fact I live my life to create this down time.. 12th house planets.. Is it cocher(sp?) not to respond? Or perhaps I'll respond late at night?

I'm aware that I tell people I love them too soon.. so being engaged with someone ie back and forth chatting isn't really good for me.. I need time to feel them out to know if I REALLY do like them. Saturn in cancer.

Dear miss manners....

Avatar
Elsa
Planets in shy.
Admin
Forum Posts: 26105
Member Since:
Monday, January 31, 2005
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
2
Wednesday, April 11, 2012 - 11:10 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print

"With the gem I gave him my phone # to text to meet up. We only met last night and he texted right after a lovely message about going out again sometime. I thought cool. And now he's texted again asking how my day went."

I think he's horny and trying to get laid. If I was him, that's how I'd do it. If you don't respond, he'll fish another line..

Avatar
luckyduck
SuperStar
Members
Forum Posts: 1601
Member Since:
Friday, January 13, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
3
Wednesday, April 11, 2012 - 11:12 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hmm....I wouldn't see it as a lie if you said you simply weren't available for back and forth texting at this moment. You don't have to explain why. But it is the truth because you obviously aren't comfortable with it. And if you aren't comfortable with it, then you shouldn't make yourself available to it.

((hugs))

Avatar
Liz
Star
Limited Access
Forum Posts: 1224
Member Since:
Sunday, March 8, 2009
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
4
Wednesday, April 11, 2012 - 11:27 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print

Thanks Elsa. I also made it clear it was to meet up. So to get laid eh? I guess if it's not for getting laid and is truly interested then he'd try another approach such as asking on a date. So ok I have an idea there.

And thanks luckyduck .. sometimes I need this reminder. πŸ™‚

Avatar
mahchi
SuperStar
Limited Access
Forum Posts: 1641
Member Since:
Sunday, January 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
5
Wednesday, April 11, 2012 - 11:38 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print

He may be trying to get laid as Elsa said...but he may be thinking the text was a way to let you know that he really is interested but is keeping it light by just asking how your day went. It may very well be a prelude to another date. It is kind of hard to know - dating in the age of texting/emailing/online is just so different than the way it was 20 years ago!

And even if he is just trying to get laid, you already know this isn't what you want so if he asks for a booty call, you know that is a no go. And you can happily cross him off your list, right? Next!

Avatar
Josephine
SuperStar
Forum Posts: 1772
Member Since:
Sunday, October 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
6
Wednesday, April 11, 2012 - 11:38 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print

I'd respond once more about your day - something short like 'Great, thanks' and leave it at that, so it doesn't include an opening for another question.

THEN, if he texts yet again, don't reply right away and when you do, steer the text toward meeting up again instead of chatting.

Different people have different preferred ways of communicating, so I wouldn't cut him off just because of this, if you are potentially interested.

Avatar
egiyablu
Constellation
Limited Access
Forum Posts: 2019
Member Since:
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
7
Wednesday, April 11, 2012 - 11:49 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print

As a Gemini - I think when we are interested and enjoyed our time, we want to spend more time as soon as we can. πŸ˜› I'd take it as a compliment.

I'd just wait to respond when you feel like you want to see him again, but don't wait too long or he'd feel rejected!

I communicate a lot by text. Calling is too formal, and a text is more casual and light so it's not as pushy to me.

Avatar
egiyablu
Constellation
Limited Access
Forum Posts: 2019
Member Since:
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
8
Wednesday, April 11, 2012 - 11:51 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print

I'd say, the time of day really matters. If he's asking you out for dinner or earlier, it's probably not going to be a booty call. If he texts at night or texts to meet late, then he's probably wanting sex.

I wouldn't automatically say it's sex though. If he really only wanted sex, he probably would have tried the first night.

Avatar
jannevellamo
Planet
Limited Access
Forum Posts: 183
Member Since:
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
9
Thursday, April 12, 2012 - 12:22 am
sp_Permalink sp_Print

Tell him to text again next week. You'll have time to explore your feelings and he'll have time to find some other girl. If he doesn't text you next week, he's probably not that interested anyway.

Avatar
serena009
Sun
Members
Forum Posts: 871
Member Since:
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
10
Thursday, April 12, 2012 - 1:03 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print

I don't think a text means that he wants to get laid necessarily. It could simply be a way to say "I liked our date and I'm interested in you". I really don't get it how a nice text can mean that he wants to get laid. Geez. As for the time of texting, come on, guys. I text my friends at all hours; it doesn't mean anything other than what time I'm alone and available for texting. And what's wrong with wanting to get laid anyway (if he wants just that)? If/When he asks and you don't want to, you say so. Done.

If what bothers you is too many texts too soon, I think Janne's suggestion makes sense esp. if you find it too pesky to respond to a million nice texts too soon. Perhaps try it and u see if he's still around.

Avatar
Liz
Star
Limited Access
Forum Posts: 1224
Member Since:
Sunday, March 8, 2009
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
11
Thursday, April 12, 2012 - 11:01 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print

It was just that one that threw me off. Really too soon IMO. But I got my space and replied in the morning and now it's normal. It's a gem thing I think. I like it until I try to read more into it. πŸ˜› While my moon is in gem, my merc is in scorpio. πŸ˜‰

Thanks everyone! πŸ™‚ ALL of the perspectives helped.

Avatar
Bigdaddy
Planetoid
Forum Posts: 75
Member Since:
Sunday, March 18, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
12
Friday, April 13, 2012 - 12:45 am
sp_Permalink sp_Print

Maybe he likes you and wants to talk and maybe get another date?

Does it have to be more complicated than that? Jeez

Avatar
tCj
Star
Limited Access
Forum Posts: 1424
Member Since:
Sunday, July 4, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
13
Friday, April 13, 2012 - 1:30 am
sp_Permalink sp_Print

Good on you for respecting your own boundaries. As others have mentioned, if he is truly interested he'll work with them

Avatar
egiyablu
Constellation
Limited Access
Forum Posts: 2019
Member Since:
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
14
Friday, April 13, 2012 - 7:02 am
sp_Permalink sp_Print

Yeah, I didn't know texting was such a big deal.

Generational thing?

Avatar
Liz
Star
Limited Access
Forum Posts: 1224
Member Since:
Sunday, March 8, 2009
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
15
Friday, April 13, 2012 - 12:58 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print

No it's my chart.. pluto transiting my 3rd.. i use my phone for business now.. or people i like.. otherwise i don't want a bunch of strangers texting me.. i know my moon should love the spontaneity.. however i am also enjoying the peace that comes from not having to be available 24/7

the fact that he's still texting even though i didn't get back asap is good.. i also have a big uranus signature.. i need space.. so so far so good imo.

Forum Timezone: America/Chicago

Most Users Ever Online: 196

Currently Online:
40 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Top Posters:

Newest Members:

Lala

aurelie

socialamy

Aquamarina

David_1

AnnP

Forum Stats:

Groups: 1

Forums: 11

Topics: 19547

Posts: 276551

 

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 24

Members: 3418

Moderators: 0

Admins: 4

Administrators: Elsa, Jilly, Satori, Brandon C