“For a comedian, David Spade has a real problem. He’s just too sexy. That’s not a personal opinion, it’s an astrological one. He’s got the Venus-Mars conjunction that’s the signature of many of the most charismatic movie stars, male and female alike, which more than a little distracts from his droll, understated Capricorn Moon sense of comedy. Worse, he’s got Mars rising ahead of the Sun and ruling his Aries Ascendant, so his strong animal presence, despite his diminutive size (particularly as a child), always puts him in first, up ahead and the center of attention.

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