What Are The Best Aspects In Synastry?

handheld-relationshipToday I was asked what I consider the “best” aspects in synastry between a couple. So, here goes.

Nothing beats someone’s Venus on your Moon. This is the mooshy-squooshy aspect– yes, that is technical jargon, feel free to use it. You just GET each other. Venus is bottom-line value system, Moon is your bottom-line emotional needs. So the couple just look at each other and know what the other one wants and needs. Who doesn’t like that? If the conjunction is somehow assisted by a nice aspect from any outer planet, so much the better. Here’s the caveat, however. If you happen to have a Moon/Uranus square or opposition, and someone’s Venus comes along and parks on your Moon, you will have an “opportunity” to learn a lesson about your “come closer/get away” emotional needs. Because Uranus does not move quickly in transit, chances are your potential beloved has Uranus close to the same degree as you, which would mean they have a Venus/Uranus aspect. So the lesson is mutual. Level of consciousness really is the defining point here.

Ok, next… Mars/Sun. If you are the “feminine” person in your relationship, having your partner’s Mars in positive aspect to your Sun is really FUN. Your partner’s Mars enlivens your Sun. It Jazzes it up. You have an inspired idea, their Mars knows how to implement it, be your cheerleader and get your motor running. Someone’s Mars on your Sun can be your “perfect” man, or so it seems.

Same caveat. Look at the aspects. They can mitigate heavily.

Next: Uranus trine Venus. I like this better than Jupiter trine Venus, which can lead to an excess of laziness, albeit you’ll never know because you’re too busy eating the chocolates your partner is stuffing in your face. But Uranus has the invigorating, fresh, spontaneous SNAP that keeps the electricity alive in a relationship. You just think they’re COOL. It can take an otherwise heavy Saturnian relationship and turn that Saturn into just solid commitment because Uranus trine Venus will always make sure there’s fun on the table. Overly Saturnian relationships can be just about duty, but if you’ve got nice Uranus trines and sextiles, the duty is absolutely NOT drudgery.

And, of course I can’t forget about Mars and Venus. If you are the feminine one in the relationship, look at what his Mars is doing to your Venus. Trines and sextiles are HAWT, but the square is usually difficult because the timing is off… like you’re washing dishes and he thinks it’s sexy to grab your breasts from behind– because what can you do? You’ve got your hands in the dishwater and can’t smack them away. And that IRRITATES you because, well, dishwashing is NOT sexytime for you.

And lastly I’ll talk about Mercury. Difficult Mercury aspects can be overcome if people are willing to realize that the other person’s filter is hearing things that you are not necessarily saying. Compatible Mercuries usually don’t have this problem, you talk the same language. Because communication is, obviously, extremely important, I always focus on the aspects and signs of two people’s Mercuries to facilitate a discussion of how each person communicates. Example: you’ve got earth Mercury, your new lover has air Mercury. He loves to sit and yak and plan and you are wondering WHAT sentence you should focus on because he is just ALL over the place…. frustration grows….

You’re probably wondering why I haven’t mentioned Neptune. It’s because if you don’t have some of this other stuff, all Neptune will do is make you not care, because this is your soul mate, you see? Except… usually NOT.

Have questions about your relationship? I’m available for readings!

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What Are The Best Aspects In Synastry? — 21 Comments

  1. I have Mars trine Sun and Mercury. Jupiter trine Pluto and square Mars. Sun and Mercury square Neptune. Mars sextile Saturn. Saturn sextile Sun and Mercury.

  2. Venus with the moon, Venus with Mars, and Mars with the sun… I had been wondering about these for a couple years and you just explained it! Amazing! Thank you 🙂

  3. I’ve never felt anything romantic for people whose aspects conjoin my Venus or Moon. Those conjunctions belong to my really good friends, instead. But I find that any of the inner luminaries in the other’s 8th house or 5th house is hot, hot, HOT. You never forget them and the passion never dies, no matter how long you haven’t seen each other.

  4. this is perfect! I agree venus to moon, and mars to sun aspect. I also have found generational Neptune to be very telling. but mars to sun is really fun and really does liven me up everyday. I prefer sextile than trine or conjunct. the latter feels family/platonic.

  5. From my experience and what I’ve seen, there are two other powerful aspects for couples as well as for friendships: Sun-Moon (conjunct or harmonious) and Sun-Jupiter.

  6. Ha, I think my ex partner and I have the Mars/Sun – we sure kbew how to go on trips and have fun. When we were at home though…. no thank you. Hands off my breasts, please!! I’m doing the dishes!

    Yes, something about that timing… and Saturn on my moon – eek!! Heavy duty does not even begin to describe it. In my 8th house??! How long do I have to wait for things to happen, here!!? Your fears and limitations limit and dampens my sex drive. No thank you!! Gawd, I got so annoyer by this triple Taurus who was directly opposite my sun-venus stellium in Scorpio. Oppositions anyone??? Lots of them. In everything!

    His Pisces Venus could not save the day, in the end we split up because he was all about being a teenager. NOT cool in a 30 something….

  7. I have Cap Mars, hubby is Cap Venus. There are power struggles for sure. It’s best when I lead. But sometimes I want him to “Be the Man”. We both have Air moons but he’s not a typical Gemini moon. Someone squashed the curiosity and adventure out of him at an early age. He has mars in Sag which is my 7th house. He Loves me more and he knows it. I guess I need that. Overall it’s compatible.

    • I am single but I would also rather be with a man who loves me more than I love him. I have Cap Venus and Aquarius rising and prefer to be mildly detached in most of my dealings.

  8. Thanks, Diane. That’s kinda what I thought, but doubted, because actions based in prejudices, from the one shares a Venus Moon crisscross with me.
    Thanks for shining a flashlight, while I’m exploring possibilities, with that person. 🙂

  9. PS The gender-neutral of my comment was intentional, because, I know from talking with people: queer or straight, relationships are challenging. ::one love, y’all::

  10. I totally agree about Moon/Venus conjunction. My husband’s Moon and Venus in Leo conjuncts my Moon in Leo. We understand each other on such a deep level and we are very romantic with each other. 😊

    Generally speaking I really like trines between the man’s Sun and woman’s Moon, and between the man’s Mars and woman’s Venus in synastry charts.

  11. Dear Elsa,

    can moon trine venus (max. 2-3 degree orb) be also strong enough? And what do you think about grand trines that consist venus-moon-pluto. We have this aspect with my boyfriend, it’s a double-whammy, and also featured in our composite chart.

    • I personally would think moon/venus/pluto grand trine would be lovely, as long as you’re not someone who shies away from very passionate, deep relationships.

  12. Dear Diane,

    thank you for your thoughts, that sounds fascinating! I guess I’m not faint-hearted when it comes to passion, my Pluto aspects both my Sun and Moon (0 and 2 degrees orb respectively) But in the past I had quite painful lessons with relatioships in which Pluto was involved, so I hope this time, he’ll help me, instead of making me obsessed with the “wrong guy”. 🙂

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