Loonsounds writes on We Fight Because I Am Stupid:

“For one thing, I didn’t realize or remember The Soldier was from a foreign country with a foreign language as a first language, and yet something in your writing drew out that example about India and language glitches. This poor guy, there I am intimating that he is smokin’ you a little bit, maybe not the case at all! It might really be a language thing. that’s wild.”
Continue reading The Ability To Communicate All Over The World… Superficially

Yeah, my son is deep and serious minded but he does have Venus in Gemini.

“Yeah!” he said, telling me a story in animated fashion. “And he was my fri!”

“Your what?”

“He was a fri of mine.”

“A what?” (no Gemini here)

“My fri! That’s like a half a friend,” he explained.

I snorted.

Do you have any fries?

Cassi suggested that calling the soldier a liar was harsh, however it’s the term he uses all the time. Venus in Gemini rules the Sun in Taurus…

“Yeah we were in trouble. We were doing all kinds of things you aren’t supposed to do. (He was off duty but on a base). We were having all kinds of fun right up until we got caught and this guy, he was a (insert rank, I don’t track that thing) asked me in this stern voice, all serious… “Sergeant Soldier, what’s going on here?” Continue reading He Really Does Lie Like A Rug – Lying Is Damned Near His Vocation

Remember those air conditioners we strapped to that trailer last week? And those pins? Well it’s post the holiday now, this is the soldier on the phone:

“Well the last air conditioner is off the trailer and those chains stayed tight the whole time. These guys couldn’t get them off either so I went to take them off and I could barely do it myself. Who put those on so tight? That’s what they asked me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I told ‘em oh, it was some bastard showing off for his girl.”

I laughed.

“Yeah, she was there so he did this. Dumb ass. And then they complained about the pins being all twisted up. These guys were Jamaicans and they starting bitching about the pins and I told them, oh. The girlfriend did that. That was her with the pins.”

“Oh brother.”

“Yeah, she was showing off for him, he was showing off for her. They were both show offs and now we have to suffer because of them,” he said.

I groaned.

“And they asked me, how did you know they were boyfriend and girlfriend? Oh, well they were making eyes at each other, I said. Yep, that’s how I knew. And she was young and he was old, see. Ahhhhh, they all said like that explained everything. Yep, that’s why these chains are on so tight. They are on tight, aren’t they?”

“You know how to pass the day.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Oh man. I was in there playing Word Dojo and about to go crazy. I had to rip myself away. That thing is addictive.”

“Yeah.”

“And there was some girl on there. Gina The Fox. Or FoxxyGina and she was the best. She had the high scores and I was trying to beat her. She was number one, two and three of the high scores, that Gina, and I wanted to beat her and about spent my life savings trying.”

I snorted. “No dice?”

“Uh uh. I couldn’t any higher than number four and it pissed me off. Damn that FoxxyGina. I bet she can’t do that shit in Spanish,” he said.

I roared. “Oh! So you can’t beat her own her own turf so you’ve got to change the rules?” I asked.

“No, no. FoxxyGina is smarter than I am, that’s all. I’m just not happy about it, see. Not happy at all. I just can’t work under pressure I guess. So I just had to accept it and leave there while I still had the shirt on my back. FoxxyGina cannot be beat, at least not by this stupid, slow, hog of a man.”

Realizing he was on full pout I didn’t bother to refute him.

Remember the soldier’s “hayseed” routine? (Going Undercover With The Dialect) Here is a variation. This is Venus in Gemini playin’ for sake of boredom…

“I had to mess with the girl in there, P.” We were on the phone, he’s in Alabama.

“What did you do?”

“Oh well I had fill out my name on a thing and give to her and she looked at it. Then she looked at it again. And she said, where you from? Oh, well I’m from the South. Well how do you say your name, she asked me. So I told her. How do you say your last name then? I told her. Well what kind of name is that?”

I laughed.

“Oh, it’s an Italian name, I said. Well you must have had all kinds of trouble with a name like that, she said.”

I snorted.

“Oh, you don’t know the half of it. I do have all kinds of trouble because of that name. See, I’ve got a girlfriend and her name is Elsa Panizzon. She’s Italian, see, and I want to marry her. But she has a name that’s a problem too. And she’s been Elsa Panizzon for a long time and I’m worried about it. What are we supposed to do? If we get married are we going to have to have one of those hyphenated names?”

I roared.

“And if so, whose name are we going to put first? Should we put my name first and then Panizzon? Or should we let her go first because she’s a girl and then my name can go second, after hers? By now, she was staring at me,” he said. “And of course she’s a writer so that’s another thing. What if she has to write all that out for a name? Do you think it will hurt her hand if she has to do that? Write out that big old long name like that? I am worried she may not want to write all that out all the time so I’m just not sure what we’re going to do.”

“Oh, God.”

“I’d show you a picture if I had one but I don’t have one, I told her. And by then she was just sorry she ever said a word to me. She just wanted me to shut up and go away.”

Anyone else mess with people like this? Got Gemini in your chart?

Joana (who lives in Portugal) writes: My Home Is Bigger Than Yours Home

Your soldier lived in Portugal? I’m amazed, yesterday it was the chivalry, now this…

The soldier speaks English, Spanish, Portuguese, and German, fluently. He speaks Italian (for the most part), some Russian I think. He had to learn Latin and he can get by in at least a half dozen other languages, maybe more.

He speaks English with a Southern accent and Spanish with a Spanish accent and people flip.

In fact when we’re together, people always glance at both of us and then speak Spanish to me. It’s embarrassing but then he steps in and let’s fly. It’s a chivalrous act, like getting the door for me.

“Here. Let me get that Spanish for you, Elsa”. ::blushes::

He also plays wicked games with his abilities but those are stories for another day. He does not think it is possible to be in love in Germany because the language is so bad on this front. He says if you say “I love you” in German it sounds like you just punched the person in the mouth.

He has Venus in Gemini in the 3rd house in wide opposition to Jupiter in Sagittarius in the 9th and can definitely chat you up. He lays the romantic Spanish on top the Southern gentleman thing and forget about it. You go down.

Lucky for me I am pretty much the only person on the planet he likes or I’d be in big trouble.

Are you bilingual? Trilingual? More? Got Gemini??