Intense Woman, Teacher and Healer Lacks Partner and Peer: 8th House Stellium In Virgo

Dear Elsa,

You can tell from my birth info that I’m an 8th houser/Pluto kind of girl. I am always the one my friends, family, acquaintances, and even enemies come to for advice. But when am I going to meet a man who comes from my world, someone who I can get down and dirty with – someone who understands as much as me, someone who lives in the shadow, and ‘gets it’, too? I seem to be here to help everyone else understand the dark side but when am I going to meet a kindred spirit?

I left a long-term, albeit tumultuous and on-and-off relationship four years ago. I have not been in a relationship since that time (unwillingly, but for the best), as I’ve spent it mending a broken heart and embarking in a journey of transformation, self-awareness, independence, and consciousness. Transformation and growth are so much a part of me that I had to walk away from him because he refused to grow and change and meet me at a level deep enough to satisfy me. I have also spent much of this time hanging on tightly to the hope that he would change and we could reconcile.

I’m now ready to let go but don’t know how. I don’t want to waste the Pluto transits I’ve been going through continuing to wait for him. Can you give me astrological advice as to how (or why) to let him go, so I can finally move on and be free for someone else?