Dear Heart,

I don’t believe you don’t enjoy breaking hearts. I think you love breaking hearts and get some kind of ego boost off it. Can you stop? Of course! But I don’t imagine you will anytime soon.

I see the T-Square in your chart. And I believe you seduce these men for the sole purpose of cutting their throats in some misguided show of your prowess… and eventually this will backfire. It’s as if you are a massive alcoholic who has just started drinking. He/she thinks she can go on like this forever, but this is an illusion. Eventually you will wake up and find yourself bereft. If you’re lucky that will be soon but I’m not holding my breath.
Continue reading Commitment Phobic Heart Breaker – Can She Change?

From 2007:

Speaking of bears, have you seen the movie, “Grizzly Man”? It’s about Timothy Treadwell, the man who was eaten by a bear, along with his girlfriend after spending 13 summers living among them. It’s a heck of a story. The deaths were recorded on tape and in the movie the story is presented very fairly to both the man and the bear.

Some people consider his death a tragic accident and others believe he was crazy and it was only a matter of time. After all, these are bears you’re messing with!

Continue reading Speaking Of Being Eaten By A Bear – Double Taurus, Timothy Treadwell

You might remember a week or so back the soldier met a missileer. He talked him for two days without mentioning he was a missileer himself. I wrote about because I thought it was interesting and a week or so later he had cause to call this guy who happens to live in Denver.

“He said we ought to take the wives out to dinner,” the soldier said.

(swearing below the break)

Continue reading Voice Of Mars: Braggart

The soldier is struggling to lose weight, he is now eating one meal a day. I can tell you unequivocally that I eat more than he does (by far) and yet he outweighs me by 50 pounds. We’ve come to the conclusion his inability to burn calories and lose weight is a result of his career, where he routinely marched 20 miles a day (or the equivalent) on very little food for about 20 years.
Continue reading Saturn In Virgo – The Slowest Diet In The World… Plus Shouldering The Collective Burden

My son has a Libra Moon (home). The soldier has a T-square involving Mercury, Mars and Saturn. Mars and Saturn in aspect (especially hard aspect) has a terrible reputation in astrology.

When you put the charts together, there is a tight grand cross in the Cardinal signs which by all rights would raise an astrologer’s eye. The question would be, what is going to happen to this kid’s home (Moon) and mother (Moon) when this man moves in with this wicked t-square? But it just goes to show you that there are people out there who make grand lemonade of their lemons as well as people who squander their gifts (their trines).  Because this was the conversation last night… we were all three hanging out in the bedroom.

“I love this home now,” Vidroid said. “I love it!”

The soldier and I looked at him. “You mean with the soldier here?” I asked.

“Yes! It’s great. Before you got here this was a home but now it’s… it’s great! Now it is super sonic!”

The soldier was moved. Vidroid’s mother agrees so here we are supposed to be crushed by that T-square but instead we are feel as if we are moving (Mercury), supported (Saturn) and invigorated (Mars).   Damned impressive.

Anyone out there know they make art of their hardship?

The soldier constantly threatens to have a tirade. He is only about 4% serious I think, but you never know.

“One of these days, I’m going to go in there and I’m the take the back of my arm, and rake everything off his desk…”

And the fantasy is specific too. For one thing because he did this once… he raked everything odd some guy’s desk like that and the memory is a fond one. But what gets me is how perfectly this is reflected in his chart (Saturn, Mars, Mercury T-square). Because he specifically says he misses the old rotary phones! Because when you raked everything off someone’s desk in the old days, the receiver would fly off the phone and be dangling, and sprawled. So you’ve got you violence (mars), against an authority figure (the guy behind the desk) and the phone (Mercury).

“Look, I’m pretty sure you’re not going to do that. I think you’re going to keep this job,” I said.

“You do?

“Yeah, it suits you. Isn’t it the worst most grueling job you could possibly get? Don’t they push you beyond limits that are human on a daily basis? Isn’t the whole thing one impossible challenge?”

“Yes.”

“Well that’s what you want. That’s what you like. So go ahead and threaten but I bet you stay. I bet you don’t rake anything anywhere. You’ll work it out. You’ll master this,” I said. “Not quit.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” he said.

“Yep. Your job is horrible and difficult job akin to Special Forces and this is what you love. The worst job on the planet, that’s the one for you.”

“That’s right.”

“And you want me too. Say! Does this mean I’m horribly difficult? Does this mean I am the hardest most difficult challenging cause-you-pain woman on the planet? Oh my God, is this my appeal?”

“Well I’ve never thought of it that way, P but that makes sense. You may be on to something.”
[poll=75]

Dear Dissatisfied,

I wish I could tell you a job change would do it, but there is tremendous conflict in your chart. I think if you make a change you will find, “wherever you go, there you are”. It would be like someone who moves across the country or even around the world and finds it make no difference whatsoever. Or someone who leaves one woman for another, only to have the exact dynamic they were trying to escape constellate in even worse form. So I am sorry to say, I would have to advise you stay where you’re at and work out why this bothers you so much.

Because the fact is, this life is as full of lazy-asses as it is of anything else. Big noses, little feet, (“Short people have no reason to live”), and if these people are going to bother you, then you can be sure the universe is going to send them to you in a stream until and unless you find a way to transcend.

As for the astrology, you have Mars (anger) square your Moon and Mercury, which suggests you are recreating some kind of scenario where you are mad at your family (Moon) and your lousy siblings / neighbors (Mercury). With Mars in Pisces, mostly likely they took advantage of you and you felt they lacked compassion. And this may be true. Your family may have been exactly like that but at this point the problem is internalized. It is yours to solve and the only thing that is going to help is consciousness.

Astrologically, Saturn is leaving Leo for Virgo here pretty quick and as it moves into aspect with this bit of your chart, I am sure you will feel increasing pressure to solve this with no means to escape. Sorry, but on the upside once you get this solved, you will get it solved forever and for good.

Good luck.

~~
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Here’s a bit that vividly illustrates what it’s like to have Saturn (control, responsibility) mashed up with Mercury (communications) and Mars (your desires).

“Well I was going to call you a few times over the years. One time I almost did. I really did almost call you. I went as far… well, P, I had the phone book in my hand. I had it in my lap, actually and I sat there with it for oh… I probably sat there for a half hour trying to decide what I should do. Call you? Or not call you.”

“Well you should have called. I have no idea what I’d have been doing at the time but I can’t imagine… I’m sure I would have been happy to hear from you at any time in my life,” I said. “I’m sure.”

“Oh, I was sure too. At least I thought I was sure,” he said. The soldier has Pisces. “I thought you would probably like hearing from me. Hell, P. I always thought you loved me. I was pretty sure you did love me, so yeah. It wasn’t that I was afraid you wouldn’t be glad to hear from me, it was just the circumstances at the time.”

“What circumstances? What were the circumstances?”

“Well we were getting ready to go out on this mission.” Continue reading The Soldier and P – 22: Special Forces and the Suicide Mission – To Call Or Not To Call? Vegas or Bust?

Dear Wits,

Yes and no. You’re going to get out of this but you have two years to go. Pluto is transiting your T-Square which involves your Sun, Moon, Ascendant and Mars – and I can’t think of anything more hard core than that! So what you need is a new strategy and I can offer one.

You’re in a power struggle with your ex and it’s one you’re not going to win. At least not now and definitely not the way you’re going about this. And please don’t take that as criticism because it’s not meant that way. You sound very sane to me. You sound reasonable. But the way your chart is set up and considering the Pluto transit, I just don’t think you’re going to get anywhere fighting him – as your experience has proven. Instead you will have to do something much harder. I’ll tell you what will work and you’re going to hate this. But you may as well give it a try. Because you’re at your wits end, remember?

You’re going to have to go super yin. You are going to have to let this fire consume you. Change your stance to “Bring it on!” And I don’t mean, bring it on, because you’re going to fight it. I mean, bring it on because you can take it. You can take everything he can deliver and then some. He can pound you into the ground in any of the stupid little ways he knows and you will still be here! He will not kill you. You will not be destroyed.

But I’m not kidding. You must stop being aggressive in any way. Pull your horns in… all the way in. Lay low. Be still. Work with your emotion. Handle it. Let it burn inside and survive it.

And don’t misunderstand. This is not some kind of flippy trick. You are headed into what will no doubt be the most painful transition of your life. But this is unavoidable. And you are not going to be able to rise from any ashes until and unless you are ashes. And you’re not ashes if you’re still fighting, are you?

Let go. Let him try to burn you down. Let him try to destroy you and I promise you’ll find out he’s powerless and you’re not. He cannot kill the mother but no one will find this out until you let him try. I am very sorry. Super yin. Remember that.

Take care and good luck.

~~
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pictured – Pluto, Agostino Carracci, 1557

Dear Girlfriend,

I think you are right about everything and I think your friends are right as well. I will explain that and I will tell you what I would do and what the charts reveal… and after that you’ll have to decide.

Now personally, I would read everything the way you have and I would leave this man. Because I like things very focused. And perhaps it’s my ego too. It’s fine with me if it is. Because I have Venus in Leo and I am just plain not going to be seen screwing some guy who is enthralled with another woman. And you’re a Leo Sun, so I think you can relate to this.

However your friend who says this is “normal” is right. It is normal for him. Your boyfriend has Neptune square his Moon and his Mars, and he going to be leaking and fantasizing all over the place, mostly unbeknownst to him as you’ve witnessed. So can you stand that? Because if you’re with this man, you’re going to have to. And I want to point out one other thing.

It is his chart with all the challenge. You have a lot of ease in your chart and in your life in general, as evidenced by your attitude about all this. You can go or flow anyway you want to pretty much. So this is where you are. If you like it, stay. If you don’t then leave – and either way, I don’t think you’ll have many problems.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…