Dear Learning,

I am very sorry for your loss. Your pain is palpable and I will try to help. First, a Saturn transit to the Moon (your Venus is also involved) is one of the most challenging transits particularly for the young and you are just 23. And I don’t think it’s helpful for you to think in terms of karma and punishment. It is clear you are suffering and at this point, you want to work to feel better not worse. And though this will also be challenging, it can be done.

Essentially what you are doing is grieving, which is a process. And having identified all your shortcomings (ouch), it is now time to shift your focus away from that and try to move towards acceptance. Accept the loss. Accept the price you paid – but instead of going backward and beating yourself up, try to focus on the future and figure out how you are going to incorporate what you’ve learned.

This can take the form (Saturn) of making a commitment (Saturn) to never again perpetrate whatever it was you did. Commit to doing “the right thing” in relationships. Commit to acting as an adult (Saturn) and you can even go as far as being grateful you have learned these lessons now, because you know what?

There are people 10 and even 20 years older than you, still acting the fool.

Much love and good luck.

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Dear Grieving,

If reading your mail was not enough, I looked at your chart and nearly burst into tears. It is clear that your loss is staggering and I am so sorry you have to face something like this, especially when you are so young (25 years old). And I wish I knew a way out but I don’t believe there is one. I am so sorry, but this is a period you will have to go through and I will try to offer what I can in the hopes it eases your pain in the even the tiniest way.

First, I am pretty sure that this is as bad as it will ever get for you. You will make it through this time one way or the other by hook or crook, and when you do no one and nothing will ever be able to threaten you again.

Because what are they going to do? Kill your mother? Give her cancer? Make her suffer? Are they going to make your father worthless? What? Are they going to take your job? It’s already happened, damnit! So this is where you are headed – to extreme empowerment and here are my tips to get from here to there most directly and with the least pain which I am sorry to say, is still going to be excruciating.

You want to go into survival mode. That means shut down as many systems as you can. You don’t need to be arguing with a drunk for example. If your family members are turning on you (and with this much Scorpio I bet they are), you are going to have to let them. It’s like a forest burning down. You can get in there and try, but ultimately it is bigger than you and trying to fight the inevitable will only get you burned. You’ve just got to hunker down and let the thing burn… let nature take its course. Eventually it will burn itself out at that point you can take stock. Who is left? Who are your friends? What family do you have left?

And I want to tell you you’re not going to have much. I am sorry but I am just trying to warn you and really… tell you what you already know. You will be lucky to come out of this with one loyal friend so look for that. Look for the one good thing or person in your life and focus there while this fire burns. Now here’s a map:

In the very near term, you will still be coming to terms with the fact your mother is gone. Expect any depression to deepen as reality sets in; this is unavoidable. And although you are going to feel bad awhile, this will peak by August and then slowly… very slowly improve.

And although the blacker feelings will ease as Saturn moves out of aspect with your Scorpio Moon and Venus, you will still be dealing with a Neptune transit which will have you inordinately sensitive and emotional… perhaps crying at the drop of a hat. Tears come and you don’t even know why. Crying at movies. Crying when various music comes into your head. Crying because someone (finally) said something nice to you. Crying for the sake of crying.

And I know no way to make this easier, outside of telling you that you can be sure you are not crazy because you are going to wonder at times.

So basically what you have is the crisis of your lifetime. Look for a lifeline. Just one. And when you find it, hold on to it and ignore everything else the best you can. I’m so very sorry. I know you can make it through this.

Much love and good luck.

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