I was talking to pal about her difficulty finding a partner.

“You haven’t had the greatest role model as far as being in a happy relationship with a man goes,” I said. “Look at your mother. Her priority is to have, and preferably to have more than other people. A man is irrelevant to her for the most part.”

“He is.”

“I know. She doesn’t even care if she likes the guy. Her focus is on having more all the time. She wants as much as possible and being happy is not even in the equation.”

Continue reading Your Inheritance Around Forming A Loving Intimate Relationship: Bountiful Or Bust?

CK writes, regarding women hunting women: “I’d say…if you notice it or it happens significantly to you, it’s because it’s a part of you!”

And turns out, this exact thing came up during a conversation with a friend a few days ago…

“I don’t know about that,” I said. “For example, I attract people with problems. Maybe that’s because I know how to fix them. Maybe it’s not any different than a heart surgeon who attracts people with bad hearts. Who else is going to showing up at his office?” I asked. “And what about you? You cut hair. So you’re going to attract people with bad haircuts all the time. But does this mean your hair is bad? Maybe your hair is fine. Your hair actually is fine. I know that for a fact but you still attract a stream of people who need their hair fixed so I’m just not sure this whole thing holds water.”

Who do you attract?

James Hollis writes in Creating a Life: Finding Your Individual Path:

“If one does not become the eccentric, unique, one-of-a-kind person he or she was meant to be, then a violation of some large purpose of the cosmos has occurred. Individuation is not self-absorption, narcissism or self-interest. On the contrary, individuation is a humbling task to serve what our deepest nature asks of us. For some it will be a path which brings public recognition, for others suffering and public calumny, for others still, private epiphanies never seen by anyone else. Any relationship which prevents or inhibits such a vocation is harmful and regressive.’

Do you agree? Where is your Sun?

Speaking of families where one or more members are invisible, projected upon, or forced to carry the shadow for the group, I am trying to improve my level of understanding and acceptance of this. Because as common as this is, to me it’s a foreign culture.

My family is very overt. Everyone knows who everyone is because every single one of us has a strong Moon Jupiter signature and we will tell you who we are.

Now if you misunderstand us, we will tell you again with our voice raised. We’ll be loud at first and then louder.  If continue to misunderstand, we will probably pick up a brick and hit you with it. Continue reading The Psychology And The Shadow Side Of Families

I would like to understand this phenomena. You don’t like your wife or you don’t like your husband. You complain incessantly, you wish you’d never met them, they are bane of your existence and just in general, you feel they are worthless.

Eventually they leave you and whoops! Someone else snaps them up!

Now why are you so pissed? Why do you come unglued and/or try to destroy them? What do you care? Really. Why. Do. You. Care?

Anyone?

Dear Elsa,

HELP! I am divorced from a Scorpio and now I’m in love with another Scorpio (Sun and Ascendant) who is getting ready to propose! What is wrong with me that I cannot get away from men of this sign?

Can a person have a successful relationship with someone in the same sign of a past failed relationship? Won’t I ALWAYS look for/see signs of my ex in my current love?

Libra in Love
United States

Continue reading Astrology And Psychology – Is Dating The Same Sign Over and Over Healthy Or A Form Of Repetition Compulsion?

I read that it was impossible for therapy to be effective when a person is in love. I am sorry, I can’t remember the source but the idea is that being in love in an altered state, akin to being drunk. It’s very hard to tell anyone anything when they are “in love”. When you’re in love there are just too many ways to escape. and to hide. However, I have Venus (love) square Neptune (drunk) and this may me personal to me and not true for you.

You have to form an intense connection with a therapist to do deep work. If you have a partner, you’re already bonded.  I am not sure this kind of 3-way offer the same opportunities.

What do you think? Is being in love anathema to effective psychotherapy?

I just wrote to a client about body language as far as attraction goes.  I really think you should mind yours if you are trying (and failing) to attract because it’s very powerful. This is from 2007.

From my coffee date. He’s a Libra (polite) with a Pisces Moon (intuitive). His mother is a shrink. That’s his word, not mine.

“Yeah, I’ve been watching you for awhile,” he said. “One day I was standing with this other guy and you were walking… you were headed for the locker room and you were walking all straight with your head up.” He straightened out his posture. “But then you saw us and as soon as you did, your body language changed. You closed in like this,” he said, rounding his shoulder to his center. Continue reading Body Language: Watching People Be Themselves

Relationship triangles are common when Venus aspect Pluto. There is often a femme fatale involved in some form. She may be in the flesh.  She may live in the memory of one of the parties or in someone’s paranoia but one way or the other, love becomes psychological.

With the current Venus Pluto opposition caught up in a grand cross, I am noticing that while there are three players, there is more than one game being played.

Continue reading Relationship Triangles, The Femme Fatale & Venus Pluto

I don’t know if this will be relatable but I am going to try. I write a lot about brainwashing on this blog. I write about protecting and maintaining your mental health and about exercising your intellect, doing you own thinking, striving to understand things and the like. These interests are shown in my chart by a Mars Mercury conjunction in the 9th house but recently I came up with what is probably the root of my passion and I was surprised.

“I have several children who I’m turning into killers. Wait til they grow up.”

Serial killer, David Berkowitz aka the Son of Sam wrote that. Reading it, I realized that most people don’t know there are people who think like this, plan like this and who are just in general, this diabolical. If they did know it, I don’t think they would be so lax about leaving their intellect and psyches unattended.

Continue reading Diabolical Brainwashing