Dear Pregnant,

I am sorry you have such a hard road ahead and I will try to help. First, I would not even think about relocating. This guy is not grown up or realistic but you are going to have to be because you have the baby. And you have a Saturn transit and what you need is a plan, so I will give you one.

First step is to forget about him for the moment, and to draw some lines around what you are and are not going to do. You want to mark out some territory, so you have some sort of safe space for the baby to be born into.

First, you are not going to move. Say it once, you don’t need to discuss it.

Second, you should not be around people who tell you they are sorry your baby is in your body. So if this guy does not have the sense not to say things like that, I would recommend you cut off contact and tell him you will call him when the baby is born.

This will require you facing the fact you are having this baby alone, which is going to hurt. However, you are having this baby alone unless this guy turns into a man and you know what? He may. But when and if this happens is out of your control, and I surely wouldn’t expect it. Your job now is to become a parent so just think about this:

Think about standing holding your newborn baby in your arms, trying to argue with this guy over his driver’s license? Does that sound sane to you? It’s not. When your baby is born, you are going to be consumed taking care of an infant and you want your space as calm as possible. Your child deserves this. So right now, you don’t need to know or care if this guy has a driver’s license or not. It’s irrelevant. If he ever wants to take your baby in a car (in a car seat), then he will obviously need to get one but I hope you see my point.

You have a baby coming and you have to conserve your resources. Every mother does but this goes double and triple if you are going to be alone with a baby, so please…

Tell this guy you will call him when the baby is born and work these other things out. Take the space between now and then to quiet yourself and prepare for the birth. And don’t worry about this guy. The way he is acting, he comes LAST. He is the last consideration and if you disengage, I think you will begin to see this and find your way clear.

Don’t forget to do your research around collecting child support. Focus up and make some calls. You’re a mother now.

Much love and good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…

I’m not the only one with Libra who can’t decide!

From the Celebrity Baby Blog:

Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber have yet to pick out baby names

Joyce, CBB Correspondent writes:

“Astrology is to blame for Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber’s indecision about what to name their child, among other things. Both born under Libra (Naomi’s birthday is September 28; Liev’s, October 4), the actress says their ability to weigh both sides of a topic prevents them from agreeing on anything…”

Check it out!

Dear Husband,

I feel bad for you and can’t imagine a stickier problem. Because although I think your wife has utter rights to do (or not do) whatever she wants with her body, the consequences for you are so painful it made me wince to read this. And I sure don’t have a trick to make this go away, but perhaps I can offer some reinforcement and encouragement.

You have love and that’s the main thing. And all kinds of things can happen when the love is there, so this is the first thing I would say. Just keep loving her. It sounds like this is easy for you and outside of that, since you aren’t a woman and I am, let me tell you that eating disorders are about controlling the body.

And I know you know this but what you don’t know is how incredibly out of control your body is when it is pregnant. Point being, I think your wife’s fear is justified. If she gets pregnant, the odds she is going to wig are sky high. It will be dangerous for her, so I wouldn’t try it without proper support in place. Just as if she had any other issue… if she were diabetic or whatever, some women need extra monitoring when they have a baby and she would be one of them.

Now on the odds of her ever becoming agreeable to becoming pregnant, I don’t know. I appreciate the situation with the money, and also your willingness to look into this kind of workaround… but I think the universe has put this out of reach for a very good reason. Your wife is ill and this is how that is coming to the front. But obviously you can’t take her to the water and make her drink, so what to do?

Well, I don’t think you have a lot of choices here which is good. Because once you see there is only one path, you’ll just go down it. So let’s see…

You love your wife so dumping her and getting another woman is not an option. Adoption and surrogacy? Not an option.

It must mean you’re supposed to love her until she gets to the point where she wants to heal. And you can facilitate this by being an excellent, caring, sensitive lover and continuing to let her know how important this is to you. I mean don’t go on and on because that would drive anyone nuts. You just have to be as gentle as you can… make sure she knows you love her no matter what she looks like, and beyond that all you can do is let the love work, and hope with time it will. And for yourself?

I would suggest you let go the “before I’m 30″ thing. If this is the woman you love, you may be 35 before you have a baby. Does it really matter? You’re a Pisces. And somewhere inside, you know a baby is only going to come when it is supposed to come. And that goal of yours feels like pressure to her, you know.

Love, love, love and love. There is really nothing else you can do. I hope this works out and I feel that it will.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…

Dear Girlfriend,

No! Don’t even think about it. Not only do you not need to be around his mother, you’re a Leo having a child! And the last thing you need is to live in a basement… ever! You stay in the sunshine, okay? Have your baby in the light!

But aside from that – just as a general rule, it’s never a good idea to go towards something that makes you crazy. This is particularly true when you are somebody’s mother, because parenting is very hard and you need to be sane to do it! So it’s good that this is coming up. Because having a baby is a big deal that requires you change your life completely. So this is a chance for you to make some good, positive changes and I have complete faith you can do exactly that. So here’s your key:

You are a sane person: kind, caring, generous and giving. We can all see this from your post. So next time you want to know what to do, you do not have to ask me. You need only check your feelings and do what feels good and right, because what feels good and right, is good and right. And what is good and right for you is going to be good and right for your baby. And your boyfriend’s mother?

Well she should be supporting you, not the other way around. You do what you want, but considering she ignores you anyway, I think it would be completely reasonable to tell your boyfriend he’s on his own when he wants to visit his mother. See if this doesn’t encourage her to change her behavior. Because she does not show you the respect you deserve, which is another thing mothers can’t do Allow their children to see them be mistreated, that is.

Bottom line, I think you have a good , solid heart. If you vow to go with that, you’re going to be fine.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…

Dear Pregnant,

It’s really hard to understand this before the doctor hands you your first child and you go home with a human being to take care of, but the fact is you are a mother now. And mothers, at least most of us, take care of our kids. And it brings us great joy, satisfaction and self esteem regardless of what the father (or anyone else in the world) does. So I just want you to know there is a way to feel better, and that is by focusing on your baby.

Now I am very sorry this guy is not showing up for you and if it were me, and he was out looking for another woman, I would not be sharing my body with him. Instead, I would focus on taking care of myself (and my baby) in every way I could think of. Eat right. Exercise. Get a nursery together. Make calls about how to chase this guy for child support, if this is going to be necessary. Get it? Start planning to be a single parent. Because it’s looking like this is how it’s going to play.

Now it’s possible if you focus like this, he may see you taking this serious and change his behavior – but if not, I wouldn’t worry too much. Because it sounds like he was not making you happy anyway. And I know this is exceedingly difficult to comprehend and come to accept, but maybe it’s okay if he falls away… leaving you to raise your baby with a man who is more devoted to you.

And I know you are scared, but you are going to have a baby which you apparently wanted very much. And you’re in your thirties, so I think you can handle this. Just try to shift your focus from this man to the child you’re carrying and I think you will begin to feel better within days. Keep your focus on your child and I bet you’re grinning within a month. And the astrology?

You have Jupiter transiting your 12th house. When it hits your ascendant (your body) you will be hugely pregnant and your baby will be born. S/he will have Jupiter is Sagittarius which is a great fortune and be very lucky for you.

Much love and good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…

Dear Pregnant,

I read your situation the same way you do. It seems you’ve hit a tipping point and in my experience once that happens, there is no going back. You may think about going back, especially if you’re a Virgo and this is what you do, but in fact there is no going back. Back to what? I’m sorry but there is nothing to back to, is there?

So yes, I think you can and should and will move on. Have your real baby and let this overgrown baby learn to take care of himself. And I don’t think you need to know anything else. It seems you have the resources to go this alone. You are one who provides all the support so you don’t need to rely on him for anything. I mean, this is what he’s providing now, right? Nothing. So why be heartbroken, huh? I’d skip that step completely!

Just keep doing what you’re doing. Let the reality of your situation crystallize in your mind and I’m sure you’ll find the ways and means to make the break. And will you regret it?

I seriously doubt it.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…

Dear Adrift,

I don’t understand that either. And he may not understand it himself. And I am very sorry you have been abandoned like this. It’s got to be incredibly painful… and embarrassing. Because you are a Capricorn, concerned with public image and I know how this is.

For some reason when a woman is left pregnant, she is blamed. There must be something wrong with her, people think. Otherwise that man would never have left. And this is bullshit, of course. Men leave because they can. The baby is in your stomach, not theirs! So if they want to leave, they can. But I want you to know there are people who see through this, and now what?

Well there is nothing you can do about his lack of desire to be emotionally involved. So at this point you would do best to accept that, and try to detach and make this a practical matter. Because it does not matter if he wanted to have a child or not. The fact his, he has a child and the child is inside your body. And whether he likes it or not, he is as responsible for that baby as you are. And though he may be turning his back and denying his responsibility, this won’t do him much good if you decide to sue him for child support.

And this is the question you need to ask yourself. Do you want to chase this guy for child support? And no one can answer this but you.

See, I don’t know your situation. If your resources are limited, then there is no question what you will need to do. Get on the phone with social services and have them assist you. Do it now, so you have things in place for when the baby comes.

On the other hand, if you are flush, then you have choices. And I want to mention this. Because some would say that you have to go after the father on principle. They argue that your baby is entitled to support – but the fact is, if you can support your child yourself, there is another option and it’s called “Cut your losses”. What your baby needs most is a happy mother who takes care of herself, so you want to make decisions that support that. And leave this guy to do whatever he’s going to do about the fact he has a baby in this world. And I am not sure just how pregnant you are, but this is my advice:

Take care of your body and your baby. Go easy on yourself. You can’t do anything about anything (as far as child support is concerned) until your baby is born. And if you are going to be a single parent with a newborn, believe me you are going to need all the rest you can get now.

Outside of that, try to remember it is you in the catbird seat. It is you who can go after him for support (or not) and it is you with the precious thing in your body.

It is also you who is mature enough to take responsibility for your child, so keep your chin up and start making plans to be an excellent parent to your child – which is Capricorn’s forte. And for the record, I am fully confident you will succeed at this, regardless of what this guy does or does not do.

Congratulations and much love and good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…

Dear Mistress,

Obviously your man is a deeply disturbed liar and I don’t think he needs love and understanding but a swift kick in the ass.

As for you, you sound like a heroin addict. And as long as you want to stick that needle in your arm, there is not much anyone can do for you.

It’s obvious you like your pain, because your post makes it clear you do not want to stop this behavior. With your Moon conjunct Jupiter in Pisces, it seems you relish this masochistic relationship and your dissociated state.

You’re watching a movie? Come on! This is real life and you’re screwing some pregnant woman’s disturbed husband.

And I have to tell you, I think you’re well matched with him, like two drug addicts or two hopeless alcoholics. But please understand if the rest of us shake our heads and walk away. Because you’re the only one who finds this interesting or fascinating in some way. The rest of us think you need to sober up, and the sooner the better.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…

Dear Un-Mom,

Well, you can’t give it you don’t have it, can you? You can’t be interested, when you’re not interested – and it’s not your fault that you’re not interested!!

I’m very sorry I don’t know a trick, but I don’t know a trick. Most of these friendships are probably going to go south anyway. Because believe me: if you think your friends are obsessed with the pregnancy, wait’ll the babies pop out!

Look. All you can do is be yourself. You are the Un-Mom and hopefully there’s a friend in the pile who wants one of those in her life (even after she has her baby). Not everyone wants a clone of themselves for a friend. I know I don’t.

But you get my point. Don’t fake it. And don’t beat yourself up about it either, because you’re innocent here. And if you’re left with a friend-void, you can be sure the universe will fill it.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…