I started a thread on the movie, Black Swan here. I was beyond disturbed watching “mental illness” as it was portrayed in the movie. I realize it’s just a movie but it’s a popular one and I wonder if may change people’s attitudes about mental illness.
Astrology in real life
“In the 60′s they thought schizophrenia was caused by by parents, the mother, the family. Autism, too. If someone had an autistic kid if was because they were a lousy mother.”
The soldier laughed.
“Well they did think this. If was the brainy idea of the times and these poor parents. The mothers, I mean. They were told their kid was fine until they got hold of them. If you’d have hugged your kid… if you did not subconsciously hate your child, none of this would be happening. The parents bought it for the most part for a myriad of reasons. This was accepted at the time, and there are people out there who still believe this. Yes. I know people who believe this right now, this year. A person is schizophrenic because the family did it, they needed a scapegoat.”
I have been seeing a Scorpio man for five weeks. When I first met him, he was very intense. Apparently, he travels a lot for his work. I like him a lot and feel like there is potential for a wonderful relationship.
The only thing he is hot and cold all the time. He began to pursue me intensely, bought me two expensive perfumes and a $600 spa treatment for Christmas. We have had a couple of communication bumps and I realized that he was sensitive. We have not had sexual relations until recently, this past weekend.
He has mentioned me to his family but when he does not like what I say, he criticizes my way of expressing myself or at least makes note of it. It seems like I am under a microscope.
He mentions that he thinks he would like me to meet his friends in Wisconsin, since he is here on business for four months but then he gets cold and I do not hear from him for 4 days or I do not know if we have plans for the upcoming weekend.
He has three female friends that call him regularly. One is a coworker, another a girl from this hometown who is unhappily married and another in Wisconsin. When I make a comment about them, he said, they call him, he doesn’t call them.
He has been open with me about his life. He is presently taking medications for various problems, an antidepressant, a anti psychotic medication and a patch for ADHD.
He was drinking a lot in his life and his job sent him to a program to get help. He has confided in me that the programs never worked in the past and that he has a biological problem and would drink because it made him feel better. At one point he was drinking from 10am to 4pm. To his credit, he has been honest and in fact has shared just about everything with me. He seems to want to be successful in this program.
I guess, I am a bit confused. I decided to stop calling him. He was calling me, then we had a bump and now I call and he doesn’t. Last weekend we were together, he cooked for me, took me out to movies and spent the entire weekend inside with me but he has not called me since.
This sounds like a clear case of WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get) to me. This man has a full life. His life is full of people, a job, an addiction and mental illness and it seems to me he is living it.
You on the other hand are trying to make decisions about your life based on this other person’s comings and goings and progress and/or lack of progress and it is not hard to see this is going to lead you to nothing and nowhere.
Rather than focusing on what he is doing, it would be far more productive to focus on what you are doing – which as a double Libra may be a challenge so I will try to help.
You are doing what comes natural to Libra: you are trying to partner, though you are going about it all wrong. You are trying to decide (Libra) if you might be able to take this other person and see if you can’t fashion them (read control them) into something that will be suitable as a partner, which is never going to work.
This is particularly true of a psychotic, depressed, ADHD, disappearing, alcoholic Scorpio who has a bunch of women hanging around so yeah. If you want a partner which I think you do, I would look elsewhere.
In a natal chart, are there any particular alignments that indicate a disposition toward mental illness? Or is t more of an energy thing – all depends in how it manifests in that individual? Or both?
My personal opinion, depends on how it manifests. Others might give you a list of aspects but you’d have no trouble finding examples contrary so…
My husband and I have been having some problems. He was diagnosed with bipolar and narcolepsy. He had a history of using ephedrine to compensate but has been drug free for almost 3 years.
Within the past few weeks though, his behavior has changed. His bipolar hasn’t stabilized since his dad passed in July. I found out that he was snorting his Ritalin and watching a lot of porn. This isn’t typical behavior for him, but it’s happened with the porn in the past.. back when he used ephedrine. I’m hurting and scared.
I have gone to his therapist and other professionals for help in this but right now my self esteem is pretty low. I feel like if I were a better wife, he would be coming to me. I don’t know what to do from here. He knows how I feel; I have confronted him about the porn in the past and got rid of it. Any advice would be appreciated.
Wife in Pain
Bipolar is a serious mental illness and what and how your husband is doing on a day to day basis has very little to do with you at all. He has a brain chemistry thing that is going to eclipse anything you might do to try to have an impact.
My best advice is to get as educated as your can about his condition. The more you understand about what is going on with him, the easier it will be for you to detach your emotion and not be so negatively impacted by what he is doing. Because it is very likely he is suffering some kind of compulsion with the porn, rather than being motivated by dissatisfaction with you! This would be akin to feeling a hemophiliac is bleeding because you are a bad person! It’s just not correct.
So I say, get him to a doctor… or keep him under a doctor’s care if you’ve already got him there and then do everything you can to learn about bipolar. Read books, join a support group, read some of the blogs out there. Do what you can to understand this so you can begin to draw a line between you and his illness but essentially, this is a boundary problem.
You’re a Pisces you know, with Venus in Pisces, Chiron in Pisces so it’s going to be very hard for you to separate out from him. But I am sure you can do it and in fact transcend his illness but not without copious amounts of information and people to support and ground you. So get out there and look for them and I am sure the universe will oblige.
Much love and good luck.
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I’m in a happy marriage with my wife of two years whom I adore. Recently we got into talking about the future, and I mentioned that I want to have our first child before I turn 30. My wife went silent and after a while told me that she doesn’t want to get pregnant. She fears that an eating disorder she had in the past will resurface with a pregnancy.
We have talked about having kids before when we were dating and although she seemed reluctant, she never really told me point-blank that she doesn’t want to get pregnant. She says that if I really want to, we could look into adopting or having a child via surrogacy. She says she wants a child with me – just not the natural way.
I really love her and would look into those other options but I’m afraid we won’t be able to cope financially. I have already done some research and am positive that both options are extremely costly. I have tried talking my wife into getting some kind of therapy, because I am also concerned that she has not completely overcome her eating disorder.
What do you propose to do? I really love her and do not want to let this get in the way of us. But it is difficult not to worry, for a number of reasons.
I feel bad for you and can’t imagine a stickier problem. Because although I think your wife has utter rights to do (or not do) whatever she wants with her body, the consequences for you are so painful it made me wince to read this. And I sure don’t have a trick to make this go away, but perhaps I can offer some reinforcement and encouragement.
You have love and that’s the main thing. And all kinds of things can happen when the love is there, so this is the first thing I would say. Just keep loving her. It sounds like this is easy for you and outside of that, since you aren’t a woman and I am, let me tell you that eating disorders are about controlling the body.
And I know you know this but what you don’t know is how incredibly out of control your body is when it is pregnant. Point being, I think your wife’s fear is justified. If she gets pregnant, the odds she is going to wig are sky high. It will be dangerous for her, so I wouldn’t try it without proper support in place. Just as if she had any other issue… if she were diabetic or whatever, some women need extra monitoring when they have a baby and she would be one of them.
Now on the odds of her ever becoming agreeable to becoming pregnant, I don’t know. I appreciate the situation with the money, and also your willingness to look into this kind of workaround… but I think the universe has put this out of reach for a very good reason. Your wife is ill and this is how that is coming to the front. But obviously you can’t take her to the water and make her drink, so what to do?
Well, I don’t think you have a lot of choices here which is good. Because once you see there is only one path, you’ll just go down it. So let’s see…
You love your wife so dumping her and getting another woman is not an option. Adoption and surrogacy? Not an option.
It must mean you’re supposed to love her until she gets to the point where she wants to heal. And you can facilitate this by being an excellent, caring, sensitive lover and continuing to let her know how important this is to you. I mean don’t go on and on because that would drive anyone nuts. You just have to be as gentle as you can… make sure she knows you love her no matter what she looks like, and beyond that all you can do is let the love work, and hope with time it will. And for yourself?
I would suggest you let go the “before I’m 30″ thing. If this is the woman you love, you may be 35 before you have a baby. Does it really matter? You’re a Pisces. And somewhere inside, you know a baby is only going to come when it is supposed to come. And that goal of yours feels like pressure to her, you know.
Love, love, love and love. There is really nothing else you can do. I hope this works out and I feel that it will.
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